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Post by baza on Oct 3, 2018 19:10:06 GMT -5
Just out of interest - if you are divorced - what was the approximate split of the nett divisible assets ?
In my case it was 38/62 so I ticked the "You 40% - Spouse 60%"
I realise this is going to be an inexact science as things vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, some cases will involve child and or spousal support you pay (or recieve) and other variables will be in play as well.
Comments welcome too.
I suspect that no-one will reckon they got an equitable split. I suspect that every-one will reckon they got dudded to some extent or other.
Me ? Yeah, I reckon I got dudded, in fact my lawyer insisted I sign a waiver that I was accepting the 38/62 split against their advice (they reckoned I could have got 50/50 or better had I wanted to expend the extra money and emotional energy that move would have cost) so I was dudded by my own choice really. I've got no regrets though. My choice to go with the 38/62 had the consequences of a reasonably amicable parting of the ways and a decent base for an ongoing relationship with my ex-missus after it was all done. And, in the 8 years since I have restored my financial position, and then some.
Something to keep in mind (based on my situation). I "could" have got 50% of the nett assets. I settled for 38%. So in reality, I "lost" 12%......not 62%
It would be easy to dramatically say, on my figures, that my divorce "cost me 62% of the nett assets". Not really though. That would only be true had I been entitled to 100% of the nett assets. I was only ever entitled to 50% of the nett assets....as was my missus.
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Post by ironhamster on Oct 4, 2018 2:17:15 GMT -5
About 35/65, in my case, for all accumulated assets. Cost for the kids is nearly 100% me. I actually gave her a more generous offer when she said she was filing for divorce, but she chose to get an ambulance chasing lawyer and follow his advice.
I do not use the ambulance chasing term lightly. I used to work with a guy that would fake injuries and sue people for extra income. Same lawyer.
Let me say this. If you have kids that decide to get married, protect every premarital asset they have. I am not a lawyer, but I might put together a thread on trusts, inheritance, other accounts with premarital assets, and how to keep those safe should their marriage tank.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2018 6:45:44 GMT -5
Hmmmm. Before I answer how would you characterize the following?
Spousal support - I'd put that in the ex side of the ledger. Not aplicable in my case due to where I live.
Child support - I would not put this in the ex side since in theory it is to be spent on the kids. Yeah, I know, in theory.
College savings - Again for the kids but it is an asset. So I "got" the college savings (not included in marital property) but it isn't like I "got" it.
Depending on these assumptions I could wind up 50/50, behind 70/30, or ahead 70/30.
Just going by splitting up the marital "loot" and "IOUs" I reckon a 51/49 split. It got that way so she could say she "won".
From dollar perspective she walked away with about 300k (240 cash 60 retirement). I walked away with 300k (25 cash 275 retirement). My retirement is currently a bit over 300k and she has pissed her way through God only knows how much cash (bought a new construction home and everything in it had to be brand new).
Total attorney fees were maybe 4 grand and we each just handled our own.
But financially I'm comfortable now. I actually worry much less about money than I used to. I'd say within 5 years I will be recovered and from that point be ahead since in leaving I also stopped the hemmorage of cash every month.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 4, 2018 6:51:39 GMT -5
About 35/65, in my case, for all accumulated assets. Cost for the kids is nearly 100% me. I actually gave her a more generous offer when she said she was filing for divorce, but she chose to get an ambulance chasing lawyer and follow his advice. I do not use the ambulance chasing term lightly. I used to work with a guy that would fake injuries and sue people for extra income. Same lawyer. Let me say this. If you have kids that decide to get married, protect every premarital asset they have. I am not a lawyer, but I might put together a thread on trusts, inheritance, other accounts with premarital assets, and how to keep those safe should their marriage tank. Actually, I might. Need to amend my answer after reading yours. I left 80 grand of inheritance money on the table to swerten the pot for her to settle amicably. I could have fought on this and won but of course attorney fees would have gone up. Factoring that in my 50/50 looks more like 56/44 her favor. Given how much of child support is spent on her ill round it to 60/40 her. I think I will switch my answer to that. Repressed memory I guess. 🙄 But if you were to ask me I would have done an 80/20 split to be out of that shithole. Money well spent.
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 4, 2018 10:32:03 GMT -5
Since I am twice divorced I didn't try to fit myself into 1 of the %ages as the 2 divorces were radically different in their endings. I got creamed in the 1st divorce. But that was primarily a function of the divorce laws in NC at the time. Men with children were mostly impoverished from a divorce. The mother usually ended up with most of the marriage assets along with substantial child support. I went from a new home/lakefront property to having to move back in with my mom for a year. At that time NC was so bad that many men left the state to avoid the harsh penalties in a divorce. The state budget for Aid to Dependent Children became so burdensome for the state that finally reforms were necessary and men began getting amore equitable deal. How my 1st divorce shook out almost 30yrs ago....
House/property.....100% paid for by me...sold and money divided 50/50 Auto.....100% paid for by me...wife kept 100% Savings....95% deposited by me.....wife emptied prior to leaving and kept 100% Children's college fund....100% funded by me....wife kept 100% and later cashed out to build a deck on her new place IRA's.....100% funded by me.....100% kept by me Alimony...none Child support...$1,000/month, me providing medical, dental, other insurance for children College fund....re-established and 100% funded by me along with other educational expenses Clothing/misc.expenses for children….50/50 supposedly Sports equipment/uniforms, shoes, etc.....100% by me Autos/ auto insurance at age 16....100% funded by me
The 2nd divorce was much better for me.
House/property....98% funded by me.....100% kept by me Autos(2)….equally funded …..50/50 division Savings.....equally funded.....100% to wife IRA's.....equally funded separately…..we each kept our IRA's., she kept her pension Alimony....none Child support....no children Home furnishings....funded 20% by me, 80% by her......divided 80% to me 20% to her...…
So 2 very different endings.....
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2018 11:08:08 GMT -5
I'm reminded of the quote by Rod Stewart:
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
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Post by baza on Oct 7, 2018 23:48:42 GMT -5
This thread is looking pretty dead, but on the very few responses thus far, it would seem that the average sort of split was 52/48 .
So in a news flash for Rod Stewart, all he'd have to do is find some woman, shack up for long enough for it be be recognised as a marriage, and then split - paying her half the nett value of said house. Jurisdiction dependent of course.
I must admit to being quite surprised at the result of the responses. I truly thought it would run more in favour of the "non-ILIASM member". In fact it runs ever so slightly in favour of the ILIASM member.
I'm a bit curious about whoever it was that said their split was 70/30 in their favour.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Oct 8, 2018 7:42:08 GMT -5
I have no idea the percentages for mine. He bought me out of the house and he stayed there, I used proceeds to buy my own home. We each kept our cars and split up the furniture. We divided the savings in half and agreed not to touch the other's 401K funds (he has a crap ton more in his than I do). I get alimony, but not forever. Split the bill for the divorce and mediator, paid our own lawyers separately. He is definitely better off financially than I will ever be, mostly due to our career paths, but I'm doing okay on my own
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Post by javba on Oct 8, 2018 8:23:51 GMT -5
I have no idea the percentages for mine. He bought me out of the house and he stayed there, I used proceeds to buy my own home. We each kept our cars and split up the furniture. We divided the savings in half and agreed not to touch the other's 401K funds (he has a crap ton more in his than I do). I get alimony, but not forever. Split the bill for the divorce and mediator, paid our own lawyers separately. He is definitely better off financially than I will ever be, mostly due to our career paths, but I'm doing okay on my own Thanks for sharing this. I have long felt that money by itself is as poor reason to stay married as being married in itself being a reason. Do I need to be reminded daily I am here because I'd be living in a smaller home, and not driving what I drive now. But its ok to feel like crap day in day out, and having to use every last bit of your fibre to keep a semblance for your kids? I doubt anyone would be financially better off in a divorce as in there will be a split. So the choice is ongoing heartache, and emptiness vs having some money. To quote ironhamster "why's divorce so expensive - because it's worth it"
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