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Post by baza on Aug 18, 2018 22:59:04 GMT -5
A post from Sister choosinghappy prompts this offering. (she was formerly known as lonelywifey) When choosinghappy joined this happy group in mid June 2017, so did 9 others. At that stage, all were "staying". Last post by choosinghappy indicates she's all but left her deal. Below are the other 9 who joined at the same time, and what their last post indicated. tiffanyc - last post August 2017 - basically inactive mickjaggle - last post May 2018 - staying dreamer29 - last post June 2017 - basically inactive kelly - last post June 2017 - basically inactive peck - last post June 2017 - basically inactive twotimesone - last post August 2018 - staying eightsandaces - last post July 2018 - staying ironhamster - last post August 2018 - all but left tawnygirl - last post September 2017 - staying So of these 10..... 4 have basically put their story up, then pissed off never to be seen again. 2 are all but left their ILIASM deals. 4 are still in their ILIASM deals as far as is known. Again, and as seen in other samples from time to time, no posts telling of a turned around situation. Lazy Sunday afternoon here, watching the sleet and rain in front of the fire, dog asleep, but twitching, obviously chasing rabbits in his dreams.
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Post by ironhamster on Aug 19, 2018 0:39:32 GMT -5
I am one divorce court date away from the end, having started this last push to fix it in November of 2016.
That Christmas week, I wined and dined my beloved wife and, before returning to the kids, explained to her in the car what I wanted in our relationship. We both had a good cry and hugged each other. I was crying because, for once, I finally felt understood. She was crying because she was seeing a side of me that she just wanted to go away.
I'll spare the details, but the more I tried to fix it the worse things got. Sometimes it is hard to admit failure. It is hard to lose hope in something one has desired. It is hard to give up on something that was promised to me so many long years ago. But, there is a point where holding out hope for something you know is impossible is more painful than facing the truth, and the truth is the only way to healing.
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Post by choosinghappy on Aug 19, 2018 1:57:42 GMT -5
But, there is a point where holding out hope for something you know is impossible is more painful than facing the truth, and the truth is the only way to healing. Hear, hear! Once I started to face the truth I knew it was over. Then it was just a matter of working on myself; changing my mind frame to focus on what I knew had to happen if I were to have any chance at happiness. Getting over my fears and tapping into my inner strength. For me that took about 6 months. Then another few months as I whipped my exit plan into place. It’s been 2 months since we separated and not once have I second guessed my decision. I am already happier. I am already more hopeful. The truth is, I like my life better when he’s not in it. So now some of the harder work begins: being not just ok but content and even happy on my own. Dating again. Relying completely on myself again. But these challenges are more preferable to me than the challenges associated with my SM: pain, rejection, unhappiness, loss of self esteem and confidence, hopelessness. That’s not how I want to live my life. I’m grateful to be moving to the “other side” and excited about what my future holds now.
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Post by choosinghappy on Aug 19, 2018 2:00:37 GMT -5
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Post by shamwow on Aug 19, 2018 7:00:02 GMT -5
But, there is a point where holding out hope for something you know is impossible is more painful than facing the truth, and the truth is the only way to healing. Hear, hear! Once I started to face the truth I knew it was over. Then it was just a matter of working on myself; changing my mind frame to focus on what I knew had to happen if I were to have any chance at happiness. Getting over my fears and tapping into my inner strength. For me that took about 6 months. Then another few months as I whipped my exit plan into place. It’s been 2 months since we separated and not once have I second guessed my decision. I am already happier. I am already more hopeful. The truth is, I like my life better when he’s not in it. So now some of the harder work begins: being not just ok but content and even happy on my own. Dating again. Relying completely on myself again. But these challenges are more preferable to me than the challenges associated with my SM: pain, rejection, unhappiness, loss of self esteem and confidence, hopelessness. That’s not how I want to live my life. I’m grateful to be moving to the “other side” and excited about what my future holds now. I dunno. That meme looks like it's Bigfoot chasing the guy. Bigfoot is kinda scary.
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Post by choosinghappy on Aug 19, 2018 7:58:48 GMT -5
Hear, hear! Once I started to face the truth I knew it was over. Then it was just a matter of working on myself; changing my mind frame to focus on what I knew had to happen if I were to have any chance at happiness. Getting over my fears and tapping into my inner strength. For me that took about 6 months. Then another few months as I whipped my exit plan into place. It’s been 2 months since we separated and not once have I second guessed my decision. I am already happier. I am already more hopeful. The truth is, I like my life better when he’s not in it. So now some of the harder work begins: being not just ok but content and even happy on my own. Dating again. Relying completely on myself again. But these challenges are more preferable to me than the challenges associated with my SM: pain, rejection, unhappiness, loss of self esteem and confidence, hopelessness. That’s not how I want to live my life. I’m grateful to be moving to the “other side” and excited about what my future holds now. I dunno. That meme looks like it's Bigfoot chasing the guy. Bigfoot is kinda scary. Yes, strong enough to run away from Bigfoot, obviously.
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