I emailed a few therapists in the area to move forward. We both agreed to seek therapy, and I at least intend to do so. I need to work on my resentment, quickness to anger, and my reactions to refusals (fueled by the first two). I need to own all that and see if it truly makes a difference. I think I'm terrified that it won't, but I need to figure that out and move forward. Life feels stuck in a rut right now and it's not a great place to be.
You've not struck me as an "angry" type Brother ihadalove , but maybe a therapist experienced in anger management is worth considering if that really is an issue ?
Other than that, a therapist who is supportive - but who will call you out on any bullshit you try and pass off - is good. Someone who will challenge your thinking (without trying to do your thinking for you) is good too. There has to be some mutual respect between you and the therapist also. It can be tricky to find the 'right' one, so remember it is you who is paying the bill and you might have to 'interview' several before you find that 'right' one.
This individual therapy you are contemplating...I'm just not seeing any downside to it. It is potentially helpful in all sorts of aspects to your life, not just the marriage.
Sidebar - when I was typing above there, the auto-correct (when I typed "therapist) suggested "the rapist". Ooh boy. I hope that wasn't a bad omen !!!
I think by anger I'm talking about how quick I am to react badly to things, and perceive things as negative. I can get animated and loud. Maybe reactive outburst management is a better way to put it. I'm not a violent person so it definitely isn't in that ballpark.
A supportive rapist... definitely a different therapy choice!
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
handy: Cutiecakes, I see you posted on another forum. How about copying that other post and place it here. It hase some very relevant information and I think this forum will be of more help.
Dec 3, 2018 17:17:52 GMT -5
worksforme2: Watching the funeral....RIP George Herbert Walker Bush
Dec 5, 2018 12:46:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: Man oh man, look at all that snow. Looks like snow cream is going to be on the menu today.
Dec 9, 2018 13:23:24 GMT -5