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Post by ihadalove on Aug 13, 2018 22:13:26 GMT -5
I emailed a few therapists in the area to move forward. We both agreed to seek therapy, and I at least intend to do so. I need to work on my resentment, quickness to anger, and my reactions to refusals (fueled by the first two). I need to own all that and see if it truly makes a difference. I think I'm terrified that it won't, but I need to figure that out and move forward. Life feels stuck in a rut right now and it's not a great place to be.
Any advice on what to look for/ask them?
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Post by baza on Aug 13, 2018 23:29:54 GMT -5
You've not struck me as an "angry" type Brother ihadalove , but maybe a therapist experienced in anger management is worth considering if that really is an issue ? Other than that, a therapist who is supportive - but who will call you out on any bullshit you try and pass off - is good. Someone who will challenge your thinking (without trying to do your thinking for you) is good too. There has to be some mutual respect between you and the therapist also. It can be tricky to find the 'right' one, so remember it is you who is paying the bill and you might have to 'interview' several before you find that 'right' one. This individual therapy you are contemplating...I'm just not seeing any downside to it. It is potentially helpful in all sorts of aspects to your life, not just the marriage. Sidebar - when I was typing above there, the auto-correct (when I typed "therapist) suggested "the rapist". Ooh boy. I hope that wasn't a bad omen !!!
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Post by ihadalove on Aug 14, 2018 0:16:35 GMT -5
I think by anger I'm talking about how quick I am to react badly to things, and perceive things as negative. I can get animated and loud. Maybe reactive outburst management is a better way to put it. I'm not a violent person so it definitely isn't in that ballpark.
A supportive rapist... definitely a different therapy choice!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 24, 2018 14:23:09 GMT -5
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Post by ihadalove on Aug 24, 2018 17:05:41 GMT -5
I've had a first appointment and it went well. My goal in all of this is to work on myself, and see where it takes me. If it helps the marriage great!
Things at home have also been better, I may post on that more soon.
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Post by baza on Aug 25, 2018 19:22:12 GMT -5
Sound like you may have found a good one straight off Brother ihadalove . And I reckon that your aims for the process are realistic and sensible.
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