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Post by northstarmom on Apr 6, 2018 10:04:56 GMT -5
Useful info for those dealing with this behavior.” “The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies. It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight. Often, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of control. The target, who may possess high emotional intelligence, empathy, conflict-resolution skills, and the ability to compromise, may work diligently to respond to the deafening silence. He or she may frequently reach out to the narcissistic person via email, phone, or text to resolve greatly inflated misunderstandings, and is typically met with continued disdain, contempt, and silence. Essentially, the narcissistic person’s message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person. ” www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145
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Post by baza on Apr 6, 2018 18:18:52 GMT -5
Back in the day, I wasn't beneath dishing out "the silent treatment" to my missus. She was pretty handy at this "skill" too.
Of course when *I* did this, it was for good reason. And of course when *she* did this, it was just her being a bitch.
I dunno that I was (or still am) a narcissist. I don't think I'd descibe her as a narcissist either.
But between us what you could say with some accuracy is, that within the unique environment of our unique marriage, we were both rotten communicators. Our "go to" position was invariably "the silent treatment".
The knowledge that my 'go to'position was "the silent treatment", and the knowledge that this is quite possibly the most destructive thing there is in a relationship, was hard won knowledge. And I learned it way too late when I was in my ILIASM deal, too late for it to be of any use in that environment.
But it has been an invaluable lesson taken forward into my present environment.
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