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Post by iceman on Apr 5, 2018 10:55:27 GMT -5
iceman I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through but stay positive and I know everything will be ok. You will come out of this stronger. As far as the fear of being alone - the older we get I believe the single women outnumber the men twofold so most likely you won't be alone. Try to see the positives in your wife, and take the support she gives because she is loving you the way she is capable of. Big hugs for you. You’re right. This is how my wife shows love and that’s really all she is capable of. She does love me albeit in almost a platonic way. I feel a certain degree of guilt that I’m thinking about leaving when she does care so much about me. Seems so ungrateful on my part.
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 5, 2018 11:01:10 GMT -5
iceman I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through but stay positive and I know everything will be ok. You will come out of this stronger. As far as the fear of being alone - the older we get I believe the single women outnumber the men twofold so most likely you won't be alone. Try to see the positives in your wife, and take the support she gives because she is loving you the way she is capable of. Big hugs for you. You’re right. This is how my wife shows love and that’s really all she is capable of. She does love me albeit in almost a platonic way. I feel a certain degree of guilt that I’m thinking about leaving when she does care so much about me. Seems so ungrateful on my part. Don't feel guilt. Get through this chapter of your life and then decide what you want for yourself and for your happiness for the rest of your life. It's your one life on this Earth so you get to decide with no guilt. Trust me I walked away from my marriage 2 years ago, and I had some co dependent guilt thoughts but the ex was just fine being single. Life goes on after divorce.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 5, 2018 13:37:06 GMT -5
Good to hear from you again. I’m sorry to hear of the diagnosis but I agree it is one of the “best” types of cancer due to its treatability. They can really do an amazing amount on this type. I also agree that you need to live for YOU. If you need to pause or accelerate your exit strategy due to treatment timing or insurance or whatever, that can be done. But don’t make decisions based on fear. That never gets me anywhere. Join a gym. Eat well. Have as much joy in your life as possible. Take excellent care of yourself at all levels. Don’t settle. Especially at this time, with this knowledge, do what makes you ENJOY life.
One tip on the underlying anxiety— I always thought the oncologists should recommend counseling. I think if you could get some therapy, it would help. Both with acceptance of this new reality as well as with the (exit) plans for future. Please consider it. Talk therapy has always been helpful for me, especially during “life adjustments” periods.
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