Post by flyingsolo on Apr 3, 2018 22:26:51 GMT -5
So, life is crazy busy for me right now as based on my profession, it's my "busy season". I often eat very late lunches (mostly alone) and come home late at night after my wife and kids are in bed. The next morning I am up doing it all over again. If you ever wonder what being a vampire feels like, ask a CPA during tax season. Bottom line, other than being at the office with my staff, I spend a lot of my time alone lately. Add to the mix being stuck in a sexless marriage and I feel REALLY alone. I won't call it depression but some days I wonder how I ended up in this mess of a relationship. On the rare instances that I am at home and not asleep, I feel like there's an elephant in the room whenever I am around my wife and not really being able to relax. I won't even mention sex at this point as I know it will start a fight, which is a whole other thing that just pisses me off that we can't even talk about it.
I know deep down that I still love my wife, but the longer we go without physical intimacy, the easier it is to think about moving on. Even getting more than a peck on the cheek or a brief hug is a stretch and she's never the one initiating it. Were it not for our three kids and a number of significant investments that would need to be untangled if we divorce, we may have agreed to part ways some time ago. We are in counseling though and have been for about nine months and the non-physical part of the relationship has gotten better - at least how we interact with one another. However, thirteen months later, still no sex. No making out, no fooling around - at all. Notta. Not even a remote shot of something physical happening. I haven't even seen my wife naked since the last time we had sex thirteen months ago. She actually locks the bathroom door when she's in the shower. However, interestingly enough, she has no problem walking in on my when I am in the shower and does it often. Nice double standard right?
Anyway, I'm rambling a bit, so I'll get to the point. This past week the weather was somewhat nice so I pulled my toy out of the parking garage and took it for a spin to the local burger bar for a beer and a burger for a late lunch. The restaurant was relatively empty at about 4PM with only a handful of people sitting at the bar. I happened to notice two women sitting at the bar with an empty chair next to them so I figured WTH and sat down next to them, minding my own business (something I wouldn't normally do BTW). As I glanced over I noticed one of them was exceptionally attractive (the one furthest from me). Now, being that it was a work day, I was pretty dressed up with a tie, sportcoat and vest on. After about five minutes the very attractive girl (who I am guessing was in her late 30's) says "Wow, I love the way you are dressed. I wish more guys dressed like you". At first it took me by surprise and I wondered if she was actually talking to me, but after I looked around there was no one else around me. That comment started a conversation with her and her friend which lasted my entire lunch where she did nothing but compliment me and ask all kinds of questions about what I do for a living, my family, what music I like, etc. I ended up talking to them for about 30 minutes and learning a lot of things about her also in the exchange to the point where I think she'd be a fun girl to get to know better. She was nothing but complimentary and interested in everything we discussed and I found it quite a refreshing change. I talked them into another round and ended up picking up their tab as I left. She asked me for my business card and sent me a thank you email before I even got back to the office. There was definitely a chemistry there and if things were different with my situation, I would have gotten her number in a heartbeat. I know she was definitely single because she commented on how bad the dating scene was and added "Ugh, I have another date tonight and don't want to go". I also get the sense that she was interested, but respected the fact that I was married.
It's amazing that when you are feeling your worst and alone in the world, one bright smiling face or someone who shows an interest in you and pays you the slightest compliment can brighten your whole day. She was pretty darn amazing and hopefully one day our paths will cross again so I can tell her. I know she has no idea of the impact she made on my day and my demeanor in general, but it was pretty cool to feel desired by a beautiful total stranger for awhile.