nc3e3
New Member
What's the worst that could happen? Oh...........
Posts: 13
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by nc3e3 on Mar 6, 2018 7:59:14 GMT -5
One point I have to make here. The sad truth is, if you had said a firm no to that request she might have given you some respect. That's not a slight against you, because I'm sure I would have caved in that same situation too. But on a different level, she needs to feel the damage that she has caused. That empty house is of her making. It's not up to you to make her feel better about her loneliness. Her family is destroyed because of her and I have very little sympathy for her.
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Post by bballgirl on Mar 6, 2018 8:50:34 GMT -5
My heart goes out to you and I get the enjoying the family time but unless you can accept being sexless with her then divorce is the right thing. I got a divorce but I'm back with my ex for the companionship, stability, family unit together but I no longer want sex with him so it's mutual. I do have a fwb and that works for me. Thanks, bballgirl. I guess the divorce is an outcome, recognizing the reality of this mess, more than a generative act in itself. Yours is an interesting story. I can't imagine being around my STBX without a painful awareness of what we don't have and a compulsion to resolve the dissonance somehow. Your welcome and there is life after divorce. There is no way I could have gotten back with my ex if I didn't divorce him. So much has changed for us both in a lot of different ways. After my divorce I enjoyed the single life thoroughly and you need to do that too. Just have fun. I learned a lot about myself during this period of time. I also mentally and emotionally grew. My self esteem was repaired, I became more confident, etc. Give yourself that gift. My divorce was amicable and occasionally I still saw my ex during the 2 years we lived apart. We would sometimes eat out as a family, we celebrated the kids birthdays together, he took me and the kids out for Mother's Day. So there was still respectful contact because if nothing else we both love our kids. So get the divorce and enjoy your life on this Earth.
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Post by WindSister on Mar 6, 2018 10:25:54 GMT -5
There is no one way to live this life and every couple will be different, but for me, I am glad my husband is like me with respects to "keeping the past in the past." He burned his letters, cards, etc., too. To me, that says he has let her go (a long time before he met me actually) and won't have one foot in the past. I let my past go, similarly. I wasn't there with my husband just after his divorce (and I am glad) so he has had many years to heal, grow and move on. The first year out, even though she was in a relationship with his best friend, he gave her money when she got thyroid cancer, helped her finish her degree (he never got to pursue one), did Sunday Family Nights, etc. I am glad I wasn't around at that time or I would have gone nuts watching him jump through hoops for her. By the time I came along his hoop jumping days were LONG done and gone (and all letters burned). The fact that he was so amicable back then makes things peaceful now, though, so there is that. I am sure he had to go through many of the emotions you are going through now.
Time doesn't forget, but time does heal. And, yes, there is DEFINITELY life after divorce. Happiness and love too.
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