Your ILIASM Deal IS Resolvable.
Feb 6, 2018 20:08:30 GMT -5
bballgirl, amazingk, and 10 more like this
Post by baza on Feb 6, 2018 20:08:30 GMT -5
There are but 2 ways you can bring the problem of being in an ILIASM shithole to resolution.
#1 - is where a seismic shift in both your (and your spouse's) attitude occurs.
#2 - is where you vacate the ILIASM shithole environment.
#1 - involves two people having the capability of changing. You may have the capability to change your end of the deal - or you may not have that capability.
Your spouse may have that capability, or may not have that capability.
Resolution #1 is heavily reliant on factors mostly out of your control. In particular your spouses' capability of changing, and that is the glaring weakness in resolution method #1.
It is also reliant on YOUR ability to change, and YOU might not have that capability.
(You and/or your spouse not having the capability to change pretty much eliminates resolution method #1 as a realistic option)
#2 - involves one person - you - and does not involve the assistance, approval or co-operation of your spouse. This method - resolution #2 - you can push through yourself if need be. Getting out of an ILIASM shithole WILL resolve the problem of being in an ILIASM shithole.
Guaranteed.
But let's back up a little here.
Before you even think too much on resolution method #1 or resolution method #2, there is a critical issue to address.
That being whether you regard the whole issue of being in an ILIASM shithole critical enough to warrant you going "all in" and being prepared to put the marriage on the line.
That is the key question and there is no *correct* answer.
Both resolution methods hinge on whether you are prepared to put the marriage on the line.
In resolution method #1, your spouse needs to know that there is a serious and credible threat to the marriage, and putting it on the line will certainly get their attention and might also provoke some action.
In resolution method #2, it is the sequential action in the case of the failure of resolution method #1.
But the cornerstone of all this is whether you are prepared to put the marriage on the line.
That's the first thing.
If you are prepared to do that, then you CAN resolve your problem.
If you are NOT prepared to go all in, and put the marriage on the line, then resolution method #1 and/or resolution method #2 can't work.
And that is going to result in you being without any resolution methods at all.
Your ILIASM deal IS resolvable........if you are prepared to put the marriage on the line, if you are prepared to run that risk.
Footnote
Not being prepared to go all in and put the marriage on the line is a perfectly legitimate choice.
Indeed I think that just about *everyone* here starts off from that position.
Even people who have subsequently resolved their problem of being in an ILIASM shithole - WindSister , shamwow , @bbgirl , northstarmom , greatcoastal , @time4living2 * , and numerous others.
*@time4living2 being the most notable case where resolution method #1 worked.
#1 - is where a seismic shift in both your (and your spouse's) attitude occurs.
#2 - is where you vacate the ILIASM shithole environment.
#1 - involves two people having the capability of changing. You may have the capability to change your end of the deal - or you may not have that capability.
Your spouse may have that capability, or may not have that capability.
Resolution #1 is heavily reliant on factors mostly out of your control. In particular your spouses' capability of changing, and that is the glaring weakness in resolution method #1.
It is also reliant on YOUR ability to change, and YOU might not have that capability.
(You and/or your spouse not having the capability to change pretty much eliminates resolution method #1 as a realistic option)
#2 - involves one person - you - and does not involve the assistance, approval or co-operation of your spouse. This method - resolution #2 - you can push through yourself if need be. Getting out of an ILIASM shithole WILL resolve the problem of being in an ILIASM shithole.
Guaranteed.
But let's back up a little here.
Before you even think too much on resolution method #1 or resolution method #2, there is a critical issue to address.
That being whether you regard the whole issue of being in an ILIASM shithole critical enough to warrant you going "all in" and being prepared to put the marriage on the line.
That is the key question and there is no *correct* answer.
Both resolution methods hinge on whether you are prepared to put the marriage on the line.
In resolution method #1, your spouse needs to know that there is a serious and credible threat to the marriage, and putting it on the line will certainly get their attention and might also provoke some action.
In resolution method #2, it is the sequential action in the case of the failure of resolution method #1.
But the cornerstone of all this is whether you are prepared to put the marriage on the line.
That's the first thing.
If you are prepared to do that, then you CAN resolve your problem.
If you are NOT prepared to go all in, and put the marriage on the line, then resolution method #1 and/or resolution method #2 can't work.
And that is going to result in you being without any resolution methods at all.
Your ILIASM deal IS resolvable........if you are prepared to put the marriage on the line, if you are prepared to run that risk.
Footnote
Not being prepared to go all in and put the marriage on the line is a perfectly legitimate choice.
Indeed I think that just about *everyone* here starts off from that position.
Even people who have subsequently resolved their problem of being in an ILIASM shithole - WindSister , shamwow , @bbgirl , northstarmom , greatcoastal , @time4living2 * , and numerous others.
*@time4living2 being the most notable case where resolution method #1 worked.