I have become a huge fan of this Mark Manson bloke since seeing a linked article by him about a year ago. The more of his stuff I read the more sense he makes. I am presently reading his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck". He is an absolute gun.
Thanks for the share surfergirl. I guess you can’t go home again. But you can resolve some things in your head when you do.
I met up with a girl I used to date. She and her man liked hockey so we all went together - my wife, my son, her, and her man. It was a good time. Best part of it was that I talked to her man. Quiet guy, but big, bearded, and strong. Seemed like he would always be there for him. I knew several other people she dated, but this guy really fit her. I told her that this guy was the best fit of anyone she ever dated, including me. I was so glad she found someone like him.
The "drama" is oftentimes the only aspect of the ILIASM shithole that involves "passion". Negative passion to be sure, but at least some form of passion. And often, the only emotional connection left in an ILIASM deal is negative passion. And that has to be fed by ongoing and/or new "drama".
This weird kabuki dance of one pursuing engagement and the other rejecting it becomes what the relationship is based on. That's its' raison d'être, the prime reason for the relationship to continue.
Both spouses know their role - and each others role - and there is some form of connection in the dance.
But the bonding agent - "drama" - is not unique to refusers. You don't have to look far into the stories here to see refused spouse's engaging in it too.
The "pursuit and rejection dance" requires two participants.
And if you didn't have the "drama" holding you together, what would actually be left - if anything - as far as passion goes ?
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5