I have become a huge fan of this Mark Manson bloke since seeing a linked article by him about a year ago. The more of his stuff I read the more sense he makes. I am presently reading his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck". He is an absolute gun.
Thanks for the share surfergirl. I guess you can’t go home again. But you can resolve some things in your head when you do.
I met up with a girl I used to date. She and her man liked hockey so we all went together - my wife, my son, her, and her man. It was a good time. Best part of it was that I talked to her man. Quiet guy, but big, bearded, and strong. Seemed like he would always be there for him. I knew several other people she dated, but this guy really fit her. I told her that this guy was the best fit of anyone she ever dated, including me. I was so glad she found someone like him.
The "drama" is oftentimes the only aspect of the ILIASM shithole that involves "passion". Negative passion to be sure, but at least some form of passion. And often, the only emotional connection left in an ILIASM deal is negative passion. And that has to be fed by ongoing and/or new "drama".
This weird kabuki dance of one pursuing engagement and the other rejecting it becomes what the relationship is based on. That's its' raison d'être, the prime reason for the relationship to continue.
Both spouses know their role - and each others role - and there is some form of connection in the dance.
But the bonding agent - "drama" - is not unique to refusers. You don't have to look far into the stories here to see refused spouse's engaging in it too.
The "pursuit and rejection dance" requires two participants.
And if you didn't have the "drama" holding you together, what would actually be left - if anything - as far as passion goes ?
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Today it's steak and blowjob day! I suppose the steak is for those who don't get a blowjob.
Mar 14, 2019 16:49:49 GMT -5
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5