I have become a huge fan of this Mark Manson bloke since seeing a linked article by him about a year ago. The more of his stuff I read the more sense he makes. I am presently reading his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck". He is an absolute gun.
Thanks for the share surfergirl. I guess you can’t go home again. But you can resolve some things in your head when you do.
I met up with a girl I used to date. She and her man liked hockey so we all went together - my wife, my son, her, and her man. It was a good time. Best part of it was that I talked to her man. Quiet guy, but big, bearded, and strong. Seemed like he would always be there for him. I knew several other people she dated, but this guy really fit her. I told her that this guy was the best fit of anyone she ever dated, including me. I was so glad she found someone like him.
The "drama" is oftentimes the only aspect of the ILIASM shithole that involves "passion". Negative passion to be sure, but at least some form of passion. And often, the only emotional connection left in an ILIASM deal is negative passion. And that has to be fed by ongoing and/or new "drama".
This weird kabuki dance of one pursuing engagement and the other rejecting it becomes what the relationship is based on. That's its' raison d'être, the prime reason for the relationship to continue.
Both spouses know their role - and each others role - and there is some form of connection in the dance.
But the bonding agent - "drama" - is not unique to refusers. You don't have to look far into the stories here to see refused spouse's engaging in it too.
The "pursuit and rejection dance" requires two participants.
And if you didn't have the "drama" holding you together, what would actually be left - if anything - as far as passion goes ?
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5
h: @andie left us ☹️ No more Grammar Queen.
Oct 22, 2018 12:15:27 GMT -5