Post by chris2020 on Nov 10, 2017 18:29:36 GMT -5
In many businesses where employees chat amongst themselves in front of customers, I commonly hear them discussing how long they’ve been there, when they are due for a break and how much longer before closing as they cannot wait to get out or how hard they work but go unappreciated.
I muse as I consider that not so long beforehand, there was intense job hunting and when the right one came along, he/she was almost ecstatic and couldn’t wait to apply.
Then how nervous for that first meeting (i.e. the interview). They are accepted and feel wanted! Yea. Everyone in their circle knows in short order about this new chapter in life. A job! Work! Daily routine! And yet it is all glee! The circle of family and friends was supportive. New clothes, new car, new, new, new…… it’s all exciting.
Is it exciting because it is new or just because it is needed? Or is it a rebound job just adequate until something better comes along that really interests them?
People, in the U.S. change “careers” an average of 5 times in life (according to a study I never actually validated). They all start off nearly the same with nervous excitement and high expectations - just as in the early stages of dating. Eventually though and for many reasons it is time to move on and we can and do. Because.....
1- I have plateaued and the challenge is gone
2- It’s the same day to day
3- I don’t like the people I work with or a specific person
4- I’m better than this and deserve more
5- I no longer relate to those I work with, I have grown and they have not
6- I just need a change
7- I feel taken for granted
8- I’m just being used here
9- I work too hard compared to everyone else around here.
10- I’m tired of the boss coming onto me so often, even if I did screw his/her brains out for the first couple of years.
Leaving is relatively easy in the job - there are no ties that bind. No real emotional ties and even a sense of “good riddens” in many cases. Then onto the next job and often times the same feelings are aroused then they fade and then onto the next. Repeat until…..?
Imagine if employers had counselors on standby for anyone displaying issues of 1-10 above. Would there be much less turnover? Would many be convinced to stay for not so compelling reasons all the while secretly yearning for something else anyway? Would many stay because it is “expected? They might but just to do no more than maintain status quo with no desire to really make it work – that early passion is gone and very rarely expected to return.
My analogy is just for the sake of revealing how 1-10 happens in a very important aspect of our lives (our work) but we know how to deal with these concerns and yes, separate from them by quitting. But marriage has these additional and unique ties that bind and we cannot so easily separate. I can see all the parallels to marriage in 1 through 10 above. However, the “Leaving” part is a much different consideration. It is an unwritten contract that binds heart and soul. The sexual aspect has a way of cementing the relationship as it should and thus it becomes emotionally and even physically impossible to go. The blessings of children are anchors that hold us in place even if all of 1-10 are apparent.
Does it reveal our human nature to tire of routine or a perceived injustice and entice us to go where we can thrive or at least think we can thrive?
Do our refusers share a common trait where they easily tire of their “job” (marriage) and would go elsewhere if the right opportunity presented itself and it were an easy transition? I vote yes as I myself certainly would.
If so, how does marriage as we know it "should be" today stand much of a chance regardless of the players?