Post by theexplorer on Nov 13, 2017 15:18:37 GMT -5
Ok, I made it back FINALLY! I appreciate all the advice that has been offered.
On the questions of leaving or outsourcing, I am simply not in a position to leave at the current time. There are some strong family related reasons for staying. There are also some significant financial reasons for staying. Several years from now my situation should change. I may be able to consider leaving at that point. I do not know the future and what all will change between now and then. At this point, that is to far away to make any definite plans.
On the question of outsourcing. I have seriously considered it. Unfortunately, I would probably be the dude that gets caught! If it was a one time deal, the odds of getting caught would be low. If it became a regular deal, the odds of being caught would be quite high! My wife is fairly observant. She would most likely figure it out!
There is a story behind the original questions. I recently read a book on marriage. It contained a short section on sexless marriages. The options of leaving and outsourcing were discussed. There were also a few pages on staying in a sexless marriage. The author stated that staying in a sexless marriage and being miserable was not a good choice. She then wrote about accepting a sexless marriage. She claimed she had met several people who stayed in sexless marriages. These people accepted their situations and then built interesting and fulfilling lives outside their marriage. The author gave few details on exactly HOW to accept a sexless marriage though. To be blunt about it, the section on accepting a sexless marriage was very poorly written! It seemed obvious to me that the author had never lived in such a situation!
After reading and pondering the advice in this book, I was a bit confused. I have been attempting to make the best of my situation. It has been a struggle though! At times, it seems as if little progress has been achieved.
After reading the advice in this thread, I think this situation is (finally!) starting to make some sense. These people, who made the best of their sexless marriage, may have done OK. There is a very important point this book's author did NOT mention! If these folks had lived in a loving, sexually satisfying marriage, they would have had an even better life.
Does this sound like a fair assessment of the situation? Anyone have any more thoughts or advice?