T-Plus 935: Shammy's divorce finalizes T-Plus 933: BOC flies to Houston to meet Shammy T-Plus 33: "Operation Shackup" Begins
It's been a little over four months since I've provided an update, and as BOC and I sit in bed with each other, it seems to be a good time. On 12/31/2019, she left San Diego behind. She, her daughter, our pet fish Bonnie, and I, flew to our new home in Houston. I've been at this place for about a year and a half, but for all that time, it's been waiting to really be called our home.
Now, of course, since both BOC and I are amazing people, there has been complete harmony and bliss (i.e. unicorns farting rainbows). Oh, wait, I forgot the part about us being human beings who have been through a couple decades of shit. Even though we first met each other on this very forum about three years ago, we are still learning about each other (and ourselves). What's more, Shammy living with Whirly and BOC living with Ponzi is not remotely the same thing as Shammy living with BOC. Every day, we discover this is a completely new dynamic.
I guess what we're trying to say is that the story usually stops after the couple "lives happily after". And make no mistake, what we've done for the past couple years sure as hell has been a love story...and it still is. What we are doing is taking this to the next level. Beyond Spirit Airlines (fancy, right?) and romantic getaways every two weeks, and taking the same love story we've had and moving to the next chapter - the more mundane business of life. The point is that we are doing it in a way that includes her grabbing my ass while doing dishes and me pulling her aside for a quickie whenever we can...in a house with a couple teens running around. And to us, that sure as hell sounds like "happily ever after."
Many excuses provided by our ex-spouses seem laughable nowadays. "I'm too tired", "I've got a headache", "I've got a stomach ache", "I've got a backache", blah, blah, blah. We look forward to getting home each night, saying goodnight to the family, and crawling under the covers naked. It's kind of funny that for the most part we aren't too exhausted or too infirm to connect. Hell, this weekend, it turns out we've been doing it so much that the skin on the tip of my cock had rubbed slightly raw...somewhat painful. Guess what...I have hands. I have a mouth. There are may ways to please someone you love if you simply give a damn.
BOC is what is known as a highly sensitive person (HSP). She is the one of the most empathetic people I've ever known. You may not know what she does for a living. She is an admissions representative at a career college. She is very very successful at it because she truly feels what her students need. It's an amazing gift (even if it emotionally drains her almost every day). The flip side of this is that when she get upset or I do something to make her feel sad, it is also amplified. I, on the other hand, tend to get very defensive. When someone points something out, I tend to try to rationalize my behavior and weave the narrative to whee I'm the innocent victim. These are traits both of us had since we were kids.
As BOC read this last paragraph, she said "whoo hoo...what a pair". And, yes, we are a hell of a pair. The challenge, now, is to reconcile the fact that we are two imperfect people trying to build a life together. As someone wiser than I once observed, we still need to sort out our own shit. And as it turns out, that's a hell of a lot easier to do with somebody you love and feel safe with at your side. Way better than continuing to build mountains of shit with someone who doesn't want you.
By the way, here is a nice tip that we've discovered. When we do argue, we have a code word that, when invoked by either of us, means that we need to pause the fight and get naked. This does seem to have a positive effect for immediately ending fights. When we are done, her feelings are usually no longer hurt and I no longer have anything to be defensive about. In fact, it usually turns out that whatever we were fighting about was pretty dumb in the first place. Afterglow is great for that LOL.
There are, and will continue to be mysteries and adventures to come (and a lot of sex, of course). Honestly, the ILIASM experience is starting to fade from our memories. We simply don't live in that shithole anymore (not even mentally). It's getting to the point where we read what we wrote three years ago when we joined this forum and look at it like it was a bad dream from which we still occasionally suffer aftereffects. But, it helps immensely that we both suffered a "similar situation" (the title to the first PM I sent her) and can use that shared background to support each other.
Anyway, we just wanted to give everyone an update. I think it's time we have some sex. BOC just laughed as she read this and said "um hum".
Good night from Texas, ya'll
Sham's Law #1: Everything in life is simple. First you figure out what you want. Second, you figure out how to get it. Third you do it. The first step, unfortunately happens to be the hardest.
So happy for both of you shamwow and ballofconfusion you put in the work and made it. The long distance made it even more challenging. You deserve the happy ever after! You give so many hope that are try ing to get out. We didn't have the long distance to deal with or minor children but still the road was long. And you are right you go from every time you are together is a honeymoon of sorts to every day Life, juggling work schedules, home duties and family obligations but it is so much more exciting when you are in a loving sex filled relationship! 🥂 Here's a toast wishing you many more blissful years of playing grabass in the kitchen!
Post by workingonit on Feb 3, 2020 10:24:30 GMT -5
Love this update! The concept of 'happily ever after' is, I belive, the #1 reason people stop working on their relationship after marriage. It is a death concept!! We are all always a work in progress and every relationship needs ongoing work to continue to be awesome. You need to keep reaching for each other. This is what I have gotten out of my 19 years in sm hell. Keep reaching for each other!!
And you 2 are way ahead of the game. And having great sex so win win all around. If there were no growing pains in your relationship, there would be no growing!!
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5