Some EP Users Will Remember Me...
Dec 18, 2016 7:10:26 GMT -5
Dan, thefullmoon, and 12 more like this
Post by lovelyalone on Dec 18, 2016 7:10:26 GMT -5
Hi, friends.
Yes, I am that very LovelyAlone who rode off into the sunset with Husband, who was true to his word, went to therapy, and changed.
Husband is still in therapy, and still very much a changed man. He used to ignore my emotional needs, give me long Silent Treatments, and refuse sex. Now he drinks coffee with me, every single morning, with deep conversation. Every night we cuddle close and he strokes my back, brushes my hair, and reads to me. We really, REALLY talk. We are great partners in life, co-parents, and best friends. We've been together over half our lives. He's happy to have sex with me.
So why did I show up to the EP group yesterday, hoping to log in and get back in touch--- only to discover that EP is "paused"?
Friends, the story is very long. It's turned my life completely upside down and inside out, and it's made me really ill. It's given me the strong feeling that I'm likely working toward the end of my marriage. It's made me become a sexual refuser this year----- a very honest, up-front, no-bullshit, no-resentment kind of refuser. The kind who says, "I'm sorry, but I just don't want sex these days. And you know our history and my reasons."
Oh, I still want sex. I have always been a lusty, desire-filled woman and wife. But it's possible I'll never have sex with Husband again. I'll tell you this: I will never treat him the way he treated me. If I don't recover desire for him, I won't drag it out for years, expecting him to be okay with it and to sacrifice his life. I know the hell that is. I could never be so cruel.
The story of how I got here is really painful and complicated. I'll try to tell it in bits and pieces by adding posts to this thread. But I really can't write too much at once. My psychological health requires me to pace myself and not retell things in a way that upsets me too intensely.
Anyway, I'm so glad we have this forum. Thank you for keeping this group alive. I sure could use the support.
Yes, I am that very LovelyAlone who rode off into the sunset with Husband, who was true to his word, went to therapy, and changed.
Husband is still in therapy, and still very much a changed man. He used to ignore my emotional needs, give me long Silent Treatments, and refuse sex. Now he drinks coffee with me, every single morning, with deep conversation. Every night we cuddle close and he strokes my back, brushes my hair, and reads to me. We really, REALLY talk. We are great partners in life, co-parents, and best friends. We've been together over half our lives. He's happy to have sex with me.
So why did I show up to the EP group yesterday, hoping to log in and get back in touch--- only to discover that EP is "paused"?
Friends, the story is very long. It's turned my life completely upside down and inside out, and it's made me really ill. It's given me the strong feeling that I'm likely working toward the end of my marriage. It's made me become a sexual refuser this year----- a very honest, up-front, no-bullshit, no-resentment kind of refuser. The kind who says, "I'm sorry, but I just don't want sex these days. And you know our history and my reasons."
Oh, I still want sex. I have always been a lusty, desire-filled woman and wife. But it's possible I'll never have sex with Husband again. I'll tell you this: I will never treat him the way he treated me. If I don't recover desire for him, I won't drag it out for years, expecting him to be okay with it and to sacrifice his life. I know the hell that is. I could never be so cruel.
The story of how I got here is really painful and complicated. I'll try to tell it in bits and pieces by adding posts to this thread. But I really can't write too much at once. My psychological health requires me to pace myself and not retell things in a way that upsets me too intensely.
Anyway, I'm so glad we have this forum. Thank you for keeping this group alive. I sure could use the support.