You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
doneanddone: Shoutout goes to lonelywifey....she made my day! Jan 8, 2018 14:54:01 GMT -5
nancyb: RIP Dolores O'Riordan. You will always linger. Jan 15, 2018 20:18:28 GMT -5
njsojourner: Orgasm is good! Jan 15, 2018 23:54:54 GMT -5
brian: It's better when shared with someone! Jan 16, 2018 6:53:40 GMT -5
boudinMan: howdy folks... anybody ever hear from becca any more? just curious. Jan 16, 2018 10:02:29 GMT -5
petrushka: she's not been here in months Jan 16, 2018 20:37:20 GMT -5
saarinista: Attention people of earth: it is currently SNOWING across the Southeastern United States. I'm a native of the Midwest, and I chuckle when i see how worked up people get about a half inch of snow here. Ye Gods, you would think Armageddon was upon us. Jan 16, 2018 22:42:38 GMT -5
lonelywifey: Haha this is from a friend of mine in New Orleans: Jan 17, 2018 9:09:32 GMT -5
lonelywifey: **Hurricane comes** Louisiana: "We can probably just ride it out and have a party with a lot of drinking." **Light snow falls** Also Louisiana: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE Jan 17, 2018 9:10:47 GMT -5
lonelywifey: I just saw this shoutout! :) Thanks! Gonna have to go back and see how awesome I was on Jan 8th. Haha!! Jan 17, 2018 9:11:48 GMT -5
saarinista: lonelywifey Also, we must consume mass quantities of milk and bread to fend off the cold, and stock up on toilet paper for God knows what. Under no circumstances however should we try to warm ourselves with sexual activities ;-|! Jan 17, 2018 15:41:30 GMT -5
lonelywifey: Hahah yes that is my husband's M.O. too. B-| Jan 17, 2018 16:56:41 GMT -5
obobfla: Hey, we Floridians gladly take on Category 5 hurricanes, tornados, alligators, sharks, snakes, and bugs. But temps below 40F? FEMA help us! Jan 17, 2018 18:38:11 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday @petruschka! Jan 18, 2018 3:20:12 GMT -5
h: Schools up here don't even delay for less than 8 inches of snow. ⛄❄ Jan 18, 2018 7:56:17 GMT -5
lonelywifey: I remember when I was a kid schools NEVER closed for snow days (this was in Massachusetts). Now it's like the schools close the night before if there's even a whiff of snow in the forecast! Jan 18, 2018 11:53:49 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: We had a snow day yesterday for no reason; I can still see the grass in my yard as it is barely covered with snow (this is MA). Crazy! Jan 18, 2018 12:23:03 GMT -5
lonelywifey: We are near each other!! :-D Jan 18, 2018 15:01:56 GMT -5
Dan: I grew up in northern Virginia. There, if three snowflakes hit your windshield, you are legally allowed to start swerving... Jan 18, 2018 16:09:12 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !! Jan 18, 2018 17:32:49 GMT -5