You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
h: Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates and a very agreeable Tuesday to everyone else. Dec 25, 2018 4:31:16 GMT -5
wewbwb: Merry Christmas to everyone . Dec 25, 2018 14:11:40 GMT -5
solodriver: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOC!!!!! :) Dec 29, 2018 19:13:45 GMT -5
javba: Happy BD BOC & Friends Always great to see/ hear about your new normal. Hugs Dec 30, 2018 9:46:26 GMT -5
petrushka: 31/12/2018 - and 2 minutes to midnight: happy new year you lot! (well, inasmuch as you can manage {evil grin}) Dec 31, 2018 5:58:19 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy New Year ! Dec 31, 2018 8:16:17 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy New Year to all! Dec 31, 2018 9:46:09 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !!! Dec 31, 2018 9:46:27 GMT -5
wewbwb: Thanks! May all your needs be met with the New Year . Dec 31, 2018 10:57:06 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday ! Jan 1, 2019 8:51:21 GMT -5
wewbwb: Thanks! Jan 1, 2019 13:41:27 GMT -5
workingonit: happy birthday and new year! I hope you have some good surprises in store for you this year! Jan 1, 2019 16:12:24 GMT -5
wewbwb: Thanks ! So do I . Jan 2, 2019 22:09:43 GMT -5
lovelyalone: I'm going off to bed now, but wanted to say hi to everyone. Can't believe it's been over 2 years since I last logged in. Jan 17, 2019 21:30:58 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Happy Birthday !!! Jan 18, 2019 17:58:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Oh, thank you ! <3 Had a great day! Jan 18, 2019 18:01:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day :) Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat? Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous. Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me. Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5