Family worries

And....I just got a rather sanctimonious email from my younger brother, suggesting that I call our mom tonight. As if he thinks I'm either selfish or flaky or both, and would not do this if I wasn't prompted.

[To self: Let it go, SK. He's worried about her too. Don't let old family stuff make things more difficult than they have to be. Take the high road....]

Thanks, eternaloptimism.

I think when stuff like this happens in a family, it brings out the worst in people. My brother gets sanctimonious, but I'm sure that my natural reactions to that would not be good for family relations.

So, instead of asking him, "Who made you boss?" I just said that I would do as much as I can to help.

And, of course I called our parents. Duh!

DryCreek, I think you're right. Our dad tends to react to stress by micromanaging and getting kind of bossy with people. My brother (I think) looks up to our dad very much and tries to be like him. With this kind of result.

Luckily, I know myself pretty well by now, too. Micromanaging and getting sanctimonious are things that really push my buttons. When I was much younger, I would have gone off without thinking.

Now, though, I feel that reaction in myself, I know what's really going on, and I can hold on to the tail of my temper. We are all worried and trying to cope the best that we can.

Mom, who is the one having the surgery, seems to be coping the best. She has a strong faith and I'm glad; it seems to be helping her.

I figure that the biopsy has now been done, or is about to be.
So next will come a bit more pressure as the results are awaited Sister SmartKat.
Thinking of you at this time.

@smartkat simply allow your brother to speak, say "thank you and goodnight," then hang up, honey.

You are only responsible for managing your own emotions and behavior (and your minor children, if they are affected).

Right now, you need to simply be there for Mom. No one else.

Keeping all of you surrounded in warm, healing energy and lifted up in prayers.

Thank you, friends.

I just found out my mom is in post-op now. It is not ovarian or uterine, as they thought at first; it's her liver. She will need chemo.

My brother and dad believe that it's better that it's the liver instead of ovarian or uterine - very low survival rate for ovarian.