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Post by northstarmom on Oct 9, 2022 12:30:56 GMT -5
I don't think many women over age 30 or so are working as escorts because probably most men using such services want to have sex with younger hotties. The men want to go out with women whom-- without paying -- the men would be unlikely to be able to hook up with. The men don't care how good the women are at conversation.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 10, 2022 11:24:27 GMT -5
When I left, one of my criteria in a woman is that she knew who the A-Team was. She didn't have to have ever seen an episode, but just be old enough to have heard of the show. I love it when a plan comes together! It’s fun to be able to drop a cultural reference and have your partner get it.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 12, 2022 16:34:48 GMT -5
When I left, one of my criteria in a woman is that she knew who the A-Team was. She didn't have to have ever seen an episode, but just be old enough to have heard of the show. I love it when a plan comes together! It’s fun to be able to drop a cultural reference and have your partner get it. I just turned 50 yesterday and if my partner didn't get those references it would just be damn depressing...
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Post by petrushka on Oct 15, 2022 7:05:13 GMT -5
...my wife had always made me feel like a pervert for wanting sex...my wife angry that I no longer "ask" her for sex (counter refusing) but even when I have tried to initiate over the last year she has pushed me away. ... "So, you want me to be a pervert? Or am I supposed to ask for sex I don't want? I'm confused." This won't help. But it'd be fun. No, it would not be fun, not with a person with BPD. It'd be as much fun as throwing a burning match into the fuel tank of your car.
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Post by petrushka on Oct 15, 2022 7:14:00 GMT -5
I love it when a plan comes together! It’s fun to be able to drop a cultural reference and have your partner get it. I just turned 50 yesterday and if my partner didn't get those references it would just be damn depressing... LOL. My wife is from the former GDR. When it comes to the references she DOES get, writing them up would be a slim volume. The ones she doesn't.... oh, vey. Worse, she's terminally literal minded: stay away from metaphors, aphorisms etc. Surprisingly, despite all that, she's a great person to have intelligent conversations with, I don't mind explaining the background of non-common ground, and she's smart enough to get it, fast. It's not a hold-up. I mean ... there's a difference between never having been exposed to something, and being as dumb as a bag of rocks.
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Post by mirrororchid on Oct 21, 2022 4:20:29 GMT -5
"So, you want me to be a pervert? Or am I supposed to ask for sex I don't want? I'm confused." This won't help. But it'd be fun. No, it would not be fun, not with a person with BPD. It'd be as much fun as throwing a burning match into the fuel tank of your car. You demonstrate patience and empathy with mentally ill people that I need to master. Though I meant that to be "So, you want me to be a pervert? Or am I supposed to ask for sex I 'm not supposed to want? I'm confused." Didn't mean to say she wasn't wanted (even if it's true). That can be especially damaging. It's commonly what they believe anyway, when it isn't true. Poking the bear is a bad idea, whether you love them or not. BPD people can be rotten and mean, but their inner pain is nothing to feed. Having faced a loved one who was afflicted with BPD myself, my snark was and would be unproductive and my amusement at their foolishness is a reaction I need to dampen to background awareness. It is incredibly hard to bite your tongue, let their venom soak you through, and do nothing (except something mildly supportive if you can cleverly manage it without encouraging teh tantrum). Despite abundant verbal weaponry at your disposal, the best approach, at least some of the time, is to "be a punk" and not defend your ego. This was not one of my skills. Still isn't, but my blind spot is smaller than it was. Thanks for calling me out. BPD is a monster for everybody.
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