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Post by dallasgia on Mar 25, 2022 8:27:53 GMT -5
How/where does one get financial advise before pulling the plug? The attorney is expensive and only seemingly helpful after the papers are filed. Where can one go to seek financial advice in the planning stages of escape?
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 25, 2022 10:20:01 GMT -5
The answer to your question really depends on what sort of financial advice you are looking for. I suggest you google specific questions. Like where to find info on help with medical needs for your children. Or if it's stretching your paycheck to make it go farther. Need to buy food? Many churches have food missions that will allocate food based on the # of mouths in your household. In my small cow county there are at least 4 churches that do this mission. Here your income just needs to be below 70,000 dollars to qualify. Again google "Food Missions" near you. Most pharmaceutical companies have programs that will provide medication at reduced costs or sometimes free if you contact there help dept.
Look under "county government" in your phone book for the various agencies that can provide help and information on other resources in your area.
This isn't specific financial advice but it might help you in better addressing where your income can best be surved.
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 25, 2022 11:12:35 GMT -5
I found attorneys to be helpful at the first visit, the consultation that I didn't have to pay for. That's how I learned how under my state's law, my husband and my property and debts would be divided and whether he would be responsible for alimony.Even if you have to pay for that first visit, it's worth it to find out that information.
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 25, 2022 16:18:07 GMT -5
How/where does one get financial advise before pulling the plug? The attorney is expensive and only seemingly helpful after the papers are filed. Where can one go to seek financial advice in the planning stages of escape? I'm curious whether there are web sites dedicated to helping abused wives escape violent homes. That isn't your problem, but the same financial advice might apply? Perhaps as a starting point? Otherwise, as worksforme2 said: are there specific financial issues you're worried about? It may also be good to breathe if you can. Are you up against a deadline? You may have time to dissect the problems apart and take them one at a time... A good thread here at ILIASM could be very helpful to others in your shoes. Not just the ladies either, perhaps. There may be one the older members remember? Anyone? |
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Post by sadkat on Mar 25, 2022 21:16:58 GMT -5
Like northstarmom , I received good advice from my attorney during my first complimentary visit. Have you scheduled a consultation with a lawyer yet? Many (if not all) lawyers offer this benefit (usually 30 minutes of consultation at no charge). You could even schedule appointments with 2 or 3 lawyers. The financial questions would be excellent ones to ask during a complimentary visit. |
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Post by baza on Mar 25, 2022 21:29:33 GMT -5
You could do worse than google "divorce in (insert your jurisdiction)" and see what you find. Just for curiosity sake, I googled "Divorce in Nebraska" and found pages of useful stuff. I get the feeling Sister dallasgia , that in your ILIASM deal you have been sexually and emotionally disenfranchised ... and I figure that possibly you have also been financially disenfranchised and kept in the dark about the financial position of your marital situation, and your spouses' financial situation too, and maybe your own financial position as well. Do you have a close friend / family member who has been divorced who you could plug into and draw on for support and help in getting you started ? |
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Post by mirrororchid on Mar 28, 2022 6:19:30 GMT -5
How/where does one get financial advise before pulling the plug? The attorney is expensive and only seemingly helpful after the papers are filed. Where can one go to seek financial advice in the planning stages of escape? A good thread here at ILIASM could be very helpful to others in your shoes. Not just the ladies either, perhaps. There may be one the older members remember? Anyone? Did the dig myself. The subject gets touched on in a baza poll post with the comments:" iliasm.org/thread/4806/money |
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Post by mirrororchid on Apr 4, 2022 6:04:41 GMT -5
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Post by cagedadventurer on Jun 7, 2022 23:52:39 GMT -5
dallasgia , were you able to find some financial advisement there?
I found itemizing all assets helps (excel sheet) then determine what your pain tolerance level is to get the %$^# out. Then negotiation can be over by the time he thinks it is just starting as you can already have determined your "limit" to what you are willing to "not keep" to end the mess.
I look at LIASM as being unjustly imprisoned for years and you just have to conclude what you'd pay to be released. I found D lawyers are quite emotionally removed and can barely pretend to have empathy for the situation and just thinking of their hourly rate for serving you, thus too bias to be of good counsel to you. It puts the onus on us to plan this a bit in advance.
I had a friend here in Florida who left her husband but she was in such a hurry she left WAY too much on the table and life had been more difficult than it really needs to be as a result. Meanwhile, greed is no good either when the mission is escape from the emotional mess the is a SM.
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Post by dallasgia on Jun 8, 2022 11:26:32 GMT -5
Thank you for all the advise - I really appreciate Kate it. I am slowly gathering details and a plan.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 8, 2022 11:27:56 GMT -5
cadgedadventurer said: "I found D lawyers are quite emotionally removed and can barely pretend to have empathy for the situation and just thinking of their hourly rate for serving you, thus too bias to be of good counsel to you. It puts the onus on us to plan this a bit in advance."
I interviewed several lawyers before picking mine. She was a woman who had had a nasty divorce from her lawyer husband. Her passion was assisting women in getting out of marriages and doing it in a way that was fair. She would not work with women who wanted to take revenge on their soon-to-be-ex by imposing an unfair settlment. I found she had empathy and wisdom and my settlement was fair to both my ex and to me.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 8, 2022 11:28:35 GMT -5
cadgedadventurer said: "I found D lawyers are quite emotionally removed and can barely pretend to have empathy for the situation and just thinking of their hourly rate for serving you, thus too bias to be of good counsel to you. It puts the onus on us to plan this a bit in advance."
I interviewed several lawyers before picking mine. She was a woman who had had a nasty divorce from her lawyer husband. Her passion was assisting women in getting out of marriages and doing it in a way that was fair. She would not work with women who wanted to take revenge on their soon-to-be-ex by imposing an unfair settlement. I found she had empathy and wisdom and my settlement was fair to both my ex and to me. Not all lawyers are like the one that cadgedadventurer had.
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Post by dallasgia on Jun 8, 2022 11:32:53 GMT -5
Thank you for all the advise - I really appreciate Kate it. I am slowly gathering details and a plan. The H left the house in a hurry recently and left his laptop unlocked and active - I found his personal wealth excel document outlining all asserts/debts. I have an appt with an attorney on June 14. I’m making progress - ever so slowly - but progress. The counsel from this group is so valuable. |
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Post by jim44444 on Jun 8, 2022 16:28:33 GMT -5
The H left the house in a hurry recently and left his laptop unlocked and active - I found his personal wealth excel document outlining all asserts/debts. I have an appt with an attorney on June 14. I’m making progress - ever so slowly - but progress. The counsel from this group is so valuable. Sounds like he has his own exit plan in progress. Did you copy the spreadsheet for your lawyer? Good luck. |
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onempty
Junior Member
I'm almost free...
Posts: 66
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by onempty on Jun 11, 2022 15:29:02 GMT -5
My STBX went to talk to a financial advisor set up by her lawyer. She seemed to get some good advice and even suggested something to me that will be helpful to me.
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