Post by blueguy on Aug 9, 2020 17:01:24 GMT -5
The more I think about what my wife told me last week, and the more I think about the past 19 years of our marriage, the more depressed I get. My wife doesn't desire me sexually as she says that part of her is broken. She doesn't desire anyone sexually. She desires snuggling and companionship, but not sex. I know she has body issues as well and always had. What irritates me is when we were dating she had no issues at all with sex, and did things (like oral) that she refused to do once we got married. Now oral disgusts her, and if we do have sex it's always missionary and always requires the same "foreplay" which really does nothing for me since she doesn't do anything towards me during. My wife occasionally makes sexual type jokes but they usually piss me off nowadays more than anything else because it's like dangling a carrot in front of me. Something I really miss that I haven't had in 19 years now is a BJ. I don't even think I can remember what it feels like anymore. She barely even touches me.
I know I'm not a prime catch and I've never have felt that way, but when she told me she doesn't desire me sexually it really hit me in the gut. She doesn't understand my point of view and doesn't see why I feel the way I do. I told her most guys like to feel desired sexually by their significant others.
I honestly wish another woman found me desirable that way and I don't think I could stop myself if that were the case, if that were to even happen. I really hate that as much as I've tried to ignore my sexual desire, I still feel it, and can't ignore it. If there was something I could take that would shut that part of my brain off I would. I've tried praying about it, I've tried taking an antidepressant before when I talked to my doctor about it, but all that did was make orgasms that much more difficult but didn't kill off my libido.
I keep fighting my brain on this too, as we have two kids and I make the vast majority of our income, and have shared debt as well, but most importantly I don't want to uproot our kids.
I just want to feel desired by a woman!!