Thank you DryCreek - that's the thing that was bugging me - that someone who wants sex 3-4 times a week obviously has something WRONG with them. Not - as others have rightly pointed out - if X wants 3 times and Y wants 1 or none - both have a problem because neither are getting what they want from a relationship.
My partner and I have sex more than 4 times a week. But everyone's happy. It doesn't mean that we're compensating for something else, it's that this is one of the ways we express affection and care for each other, plus it feels good and is fun.
In fact I would go so far as to deduct from Dr. Seth's assertion that "people who want sex 3-4 times a week do so out of anxiety" is slagging off people with a high sex drive and I wonder if Dr. Seth isn't trying to justify his own asexual, or low sex drive, refuser-dom.
He's saying if you want it 4 times a week, you're 'nuts'. I reckon if you say something like that, you're 'nuts'. It makes me wonder how he got his degree .....he doesn't look very scientific to me.
Personally, while I'm more of a 2-3 times a week person, I have also known people who want it every day, and I don't consider that to be crazy either: it is who they are, period. You'd need a lot more data before calling them dysfunctional (anxiety).
In my not so humble opinion the guy is a quack the way he voices his disdain for people with different wants/needs than his own. The way he buys into "men want it more than women" is ignorant. 'nuff said.
The part that made me say “quack” was his recommendations;
Cut your partner off cold turkey and send him/her to a therapist. No mention of talking to your partner. Also no comments section.
Gee, thanks for the self-serving recommendation, Dr. Charlatan!
Post by northstarmom on Dec 27, 2019 13:44:57 GMT -5
3-4 times a week is not “sex all of the time.”
A friend said her now ex husband wanted sex 5-6 times a day. They had been married for many years and were in their 50s. For most people, that would be a problem. Btw after she divorced him, he turned to masturbating several times a day.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5
grower: Embrace a change, you will wonder why you waited so long
Jul 9, 2020 11:22:56 GMT -5
grower: Your life clock is ticking away, don't waste all your time. Live some.
Jul 24, 2020 9:53:20 GMT -5
fred: blue guy, i was where you are 30 years ago. stayed.................nothing changed. if i didn't love this nice lady so much i'd be in deep regret. if she doesn't think of you in a hundred "other" ways (as does my wife) GET OUT ! Life is short
Aug 10, 2020 17:43:15 GMT -5
jerri: Yuk on the plucking chicken feathers. If a chicken doesn't get sex and intimacy she just finds a beautiful cock sooner or later. I'd say there's a much higher "philandering" rate than anyone would care to admit. The rooster who is tormented findsa chicken!
Sept 10, 2020 8:23:56 GMT -5
csl: And yet, there is an entire segment of ILIASM stayers.
Sept 10, 2020 22:04:05 GMT -5
jerri: Exactly I have read multiple threads. I was very impressed with all the different solutions everyone has found. Intellectual group and the camaraderie is nice
Sept 11, 2020 9:44:57 GMT -5