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Post by angeleyes65 on Oct 30, 2019 8:15:07 GMT -5
Have to say Oct 23 was my 2nd anniversary that passed since I got out. No drama from my ex. He was driving me crazy I finally blocked everything but email. He finally seems to be getting a grip. My daughter got married we walked her down the aisle together. Have to tell you I got drunk the night before. The thought of spending the afternoon with him made me ill. He showed up 90 minutes early which I wasn't expecting. But he actually helped and no drama. He still doesn't know I'm seeing someone else much less living with them. But be I'm keeping the dogs for him in Dec for a week so I guess he will soon. I feel like that's my last hurtle.
His friends and family know. I still haven't met his daughter or his sister but I'm guessing in time I will. He hasn't been out as long I'm sure his daughter will get better with it as time passes.
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Post by RealMustangGuy on Oct 30, 2019 8:37:06 GMT -5
It's always inspiring to read about post sexless marriage success stories, so thanks for posting. Congratulations too, and I'm glad things went well at your daughter's wedding. That day was her day after all, and it's good that you and your ex realized that and kept her wedding drama free. I'm sure the rest will fall into place. I've never understood why people don't just want other people to be happy, but I know for many that isn't the case and a new person in a dad's or mom's life can be difficult. I really am sure you'll do fine with all of that though.
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Post by sadkat on Oct 30, 2019 13:17:09 GMT -5
Glad to see progress being made with the ex angeleyes65. It’s been interesting for me- my situation is the exact opposite. I don’t hear from h at all. I heard from him for the first time after over 2 weeks of total silence. My hope was for friendship. I need to give it time. I’ll be spending 2.5 weeks with him (and my son) over the Holidays. We will see how that goes! |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Oct 30, 2019 15:32:06 GMT -5
Glad to see progress being made with the ex angeleyes65. It’s been interesting for me- my situation is the exact opposite. I don’t hear from h at all. I heard from him for the first time after over 2 weeks of total silence. My hope was for friendship. I need to give it time. I’ll be spending 2.5 weeks with him (and my son) over the Holidays. We will see how that goes! The thought of 2 weeks together would give me an ulcer lol. It was my hoped to be friends also. Even went on a small vacation with him and my daughter to see his family in Florida after I be had moved out. It was very awkward I don't want to say miserable because I had fun but the fun had nothing to do with him lol He was determined to suck me into coming back. After I blocked him from everything but email and quit responding to any emails that addressed what he wanted or our previous relationship he finally started sending emails I could answer. And I now go weeks without hearing from him. Although he has become more chatty since the wedding. I'm afraid the fact that I took my best friend instead of my boyfriend may have made him think I'm still available but his family can see my face book unless no one wants to be the one to deliver the bad news lol Hopefully your holidays will be peaceful and enjoyable and you will eventually get to the friend stage. 🤞 |
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Post by Handy on Oct 30, 2019 16:22:39 GMT -5
Angeleyes
... his family can see my face book...
I would guess anything on your FB gets relayed to your XH. I think your XH is the one not bringing it up and maybe hoping the new guy will implode.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 5, 2019 22:00:21 GMT -5
Angeleyes
... his family can see my face book...I would guess anything on your FB gets relayed to your XH. I think your XH is the one not bringing it up and maybe hoping the new guy will implode. I'm guessing not. But looks like I'm going to have to tell him. He sent me an email today asking if I would go to his house this weekend and watch movies or he could come to mine. I also talked to a mutual friend and he said that my ex told him 3 weeks ago he's hoping to get back with me So all this playing nice was just a different tactic. Hate to be negative but the whole time I I kept thinking he's just trying a different way to get what he wants. But at least my daughter got a drama free wedding.... Sigh |
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Post by Handy on Nov 6, 2019 1:02:21 GMT -5
angeleyes65, I am happy to hear you are on to your XH's tricks and are not being fooled.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 7, 2019 6:17:12 GMT -5
Well I tried ignoring his email invite to watch movies but he wouldn't let it go.
So I replied. I'm not going to do that. I'm in a relationship that's where I'm spending my time and energy. I hope you will respect that.
Then sat back and waited for the fallout.
He replied back that he was disappointed that I'm in a relationship but he's glad I'm happy wishes me nothing but the best
Sounds great right? Within 5 minutes my daughter sent me a copy of A a text he sent her saying I guess you weren't ever going to tell me your mother is in a relationship even though you know how I feel about her .
She replied it is her personal business not mine to share. I've told you from the beginning I don't want to be in the middle. She respected that by not telling me until recently to not put me in a bad place. I have nothing else to say on that subject.
He replied by saying I was the only thing worth living for ( nice thing to say to your kids grown or not) and it's not the first time he's said that. And said you don't bother to talk to me neither does your brother . I never see either of you or my grandson. But it doesn't matter no one cared how I felt anyway.
Then he sent me a similar email ending with I wish I would have fought for you harder
He means after I left of course. Oh well vi guess this will blow over shortly and life will go on. He blames the kids for the relationship he made with them. He will never stop amazing me... In a bad way.
Last hurtle crossed on my side, today we go to do medical directives and wills with my bf best friend that's a lawyer.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 7, 2019 7:58:43 GMT -5
Never a dull moment for you is there angeleyes65?
My X is the exact opposite from yours. When we parted she said she wanted to remain friends. So did I. And initially we did, even having sex a few times the 1st yr apart. But as time passes we are now more like acquaintances. Perhaps in time he will eventually lose his ardor and you two will become more like just two people who shared some portion and parts of your lives. Time and distance have a way of doing that.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 7, 2019 8:33:19 GMT -5
Never a dull moment for you is there angeleyes65? My X is the exact opposite from yours. When we parted she said she wanted to remain friends. So did I. And initially we did, even having sex a few times the 1st yr apart. But as time passes we are now more like acquaintances. Perhaps in time he will eventually lose his ardor and you two will become more like just two people who shared some portion and parts of your lives. Time and distance have a way of doing that. I can only hope. I don't understand what he's missing our relationship was non-existent before I told him I was leaving. I stayed ,6 months after that and have been gone for 2.5 years. The cynic in me can't help but think he can't make peace with not getting his own way. Bending me to his will. He made the shitty relationship he has with his kids. I tried to help for years but gave up a few years before I left. He's treated his son like shit since he was about 12. So my son really doesn't care to see him or let him see his son He wrote a will giving everything to our daughter and my son read it. My daughter functions only out of guilt she See's him for his birthday, father s day and Christmas. The first 2 are usually movie dates so they don't have to talk. It's so sad. |
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Post by sadkat on Nov 9, 2019 0:16:53 GMT -5
Wow, angeleyes65- you’ve had quite a week! It’s definitely curious that it took him over 2 years to tell you he “should have fought harder”. Currently, my h isn’t communicating much. I’ll be spending a couple of weeks with him and my son over the Holidays. I’m a little nervous about it. I’m hopeful he will continue to respect my desire to be out of the marriage and be willing to form a more solid friendship. Not sure that will be possible, given his actions so far. Time will tell, I guess. |
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Post by baza on Nov 9, 2019 1:24:13 GMT -5
It reads like your ex remains as big a dickhead now as he was in your ILIASM deal Sister angeleyes65 . Which would make your choice to unload him back then even wiser, in retrospect. |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 9, 2019 1:32:39 GMT -5
Wow, angeleyes65- you’ve had quite a week! It’s definitely curious that it took him over 2 years to tell you he “should have fought harder”. Currently, my h isn’t communicating much. I’ll be spending a couple of weeks with him and my son over the Holidays. I’m a little nervous about it. I’m hopeful he will continue to respect my desire to be out of the marriage and be willing to form a more solid friendship. Not sure that will be possible, given his actions so far. Time will tell, I guess. Oh he told me a lot after I left. He claims he didn't know. I guess me telling him. Cutting off affection. Building a pilllow wall between us. Not vacationing with him was not a enough lol |
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 9, 2019 8:04:08 GMT -5
Oh he told me a lot after I left. He claims he didn't know. I guess me telling him. Cutting off affection. Building a pilllow wall between us. Not vacationing with him was not a enough lol Men are not mind readers you know.....maybe something more obvious, like your leaving...lol |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Nov 9, 2019 13:13:44 GMT -5
Have to say Oct 23 was my 2nd anniversary that passed since I got out. No drama from my ex. He was driving me crazy I finally blocked everything but email. He finally seems to be getting a grip. My daughter got married we walked her down the aisle together. Have to tell you I got drunk the night before. The thought of spending the afternoon with him made me ill. He showed up 90 minutes early which I wasn't expecting. But he actually helped and no drama. He still doesn't know I'm seeing someone else much less living with them. But be I'm keeping the dogs for him in Dec for a week so I guess he will soon. I feel like that's my last hurtle. His friends and family know. I still haven't met his daughter or his sister but I'm guessing in time I will. He hasn't been out as long I'm sure his daughter will get better with it as time passes. Curious: did the idea of your daughter getting her very own ball and chain contribute to your drinking at all? Asking for a friend; No. I'm happy for her she's 35 has a good head on her shoulders . That being said my marriage made her not want to get married .. Ever. Hence her getting married at 35. And that surprised me. My getting drunk the night before was just stress of how he was going to act. If he was going to cause drama. But he played nice now I know it wasn't for her sake it was just his plan B to try to get me to drop my guard and spend time with him. But whatever the reason I'm thankful he showed up and behaved for her sake. All though now she's mad at him and probably has blocked him . |
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