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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 13:13:39 GMT -5
[This is also my latest blog update.]
Today I was supposed to have lunch with a guy from OKC, but he cancelled. That's actually okay - I wasn't that into him, and I was sort of dreading it.
Now, though, I've got an afternoon and evening with nothing planned.
And that isn't the end of the world, either. I like going out and doing things, but I also like down time....just plain old slacking. Doing nothing.
But, it's more fun and feels better *with* somebody.
I like a balance in my life. I need both activity and downtime. I need both solitude, and time with other people.
Right now, I miss being in a relationship, because I miss having someone who knows me so well that we can just hang out together and do nothing. Even just be in the same home, not ignoring each other, but not necessarily doing something together, either.
Oh, how I miss that.
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Post by misssunnybunny on May 28, 2016 14:35:18 GMT -5
I've had all day to myself, going out with a friend this evening.
Like you, I enjoy my slacker down time. I need it to recharge and need a good balance between social time and me time.
However, the alone time can get to be too alone. Having another person just here, even if we do nothing, is much needed. To have that connection and quiet company, yes, that is very much missed.
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Post by greatcoastal on May 28, 2016 14:45:16 GMT -5
I can relate, I just come home from mowing five lawns. Believe it or not that's down time. I get to think a lot, not be distracted, enjoy being outside, and wonder how long I will allow the torment of a SM.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 16:54:12 GMT -5
I can relate, I just come home from mowing five lawns. Believe it or not that's down time. I get to think a lot, not be distracted, enjoy being outside, and wonder how long I will allow the torment of a SM. Mowing the lawn really is therapeutic. |
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Post by tinymouse on May 28, 2016 17:31:53 GMT -5
I can relate, I just come home from mowing five lawns. Believe it or not that's down time. I get to think a lot, not be distracted, enjoy being outside, and wonder how long I will allow the torment of a SM. Mowing the lawn really is therapeutic. Is that why my hubby has been doing that every weekend lately instead of all other necessary things he should have been doing? |
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Post by wewbwb on May 28, 2016 19:12:50 GMT -5
I'm sorry @smartkat that sucks. Is it better than doing something with someone who you have to pretend everything is ok with?
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Post by wewbwb on May 28, 2016 19:36:12 GMT -5
Ok i can't hold it in anymore. I am not the most unbiased man when it comes to the women here. Admittedly. But what sort of dick bag guy breaks a date on the day of the date, on a holiday weekend? WTF? @smartkat he sounds like a selfish knob anyway. Most likely has no idea what teleportation is and likes nickelback. There I said it. Tool.
I'm feeling better now.
I hope you had a good day smartkat in spite of knob boy.
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Post by snowman12345 on May 28, 2016 19:48:31 GMT -5
Ok i can't hold it in anymore. I am not the most unbiased man when it comes to the women here. Admittedly. But what sort of dick bag guy breaks a date on the day of the date, on a holiday weekend? WTF? @smartkat he sounds like a selfish knob anyway. Most likely has no idea what teleportation is and likes nickelback. There I said it. Tool. I'm feeling better now. I hope you had a good day smartkat in spite of knob boy. He IS a tool. He could have spent the day and evening with someone who really had no expectations and he could have done absolutely nothing and maybe, just maybe he would have be invited back! Dude! He didn't even have to work for her good company! Knob boy indeed. |
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 23:09:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry @smartkat that sucks. Is it better than doing something with someone who you have to pretend everything is ok with? No, actually, I was relieved that I didn't meet up with the guy after all. Today would have been a good "friend" day - but I thought I was meeting the guy, so I hadn't made plans with friends. It was an OK day. I explored a quirky neighborhood in the town where I live, then hung out at the bookstore for a few hours. (Yes, I can do that!) |
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Post by baza on May 28, 2016 23:22:53 GMT -5
Would it be fair to say that being "comfortable with yourself" is something that has not always come easily to you SmartKat ?
(I used to sort of get that impression from your writings back a while ago).
I read this story and more recent ones as indicitive of your personal growth.
If you are getting comfortable with your own company that is surely a really good thing.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 23:39:50 GMT -5
Yes, I feel that I'm not as dependent on other people as I used to be.
Today's shifting around of plans was not the end of the world.
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Post by wewbwb on May 29, 2016 7:56:09 GMT -5
@smartkat while honoring you independence and self sufficiently, it was still a selfish dick move. The fact that YOU were able to handle it with grace and style, simply shows that he at least missed out on a great day with a special woman. Since you stated that you weren't into him, it may not have amounted to anything, he'll never know the special woman that you are. It's ok because he obviously isn't worthy.
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Post by itsjustus on May 29, 2016 11:24:57 GMT -5
Doing nothing is everything..... But, it's more fun and feels better *with* somebody.I like a balance in my life. I need both activity and downtime. I need both solitude, and time with other people. Right now, I miss being in a relationship, because I miss having someone who knows me so well that we can just hang out together and do nothing. Even just be in the same home, not ignoring each other, but not necessarily doing something together, either.Oh, how I miss that. I dream of this @smartkat . I've never truly had that feeling, but I dream of having a relationship that is so relaxed, so assured, that even when doing nothing, it's truly something. There's doing individual things, where with a glance you can see the other across the room, reading or relaxing. There's just sitting on a porch next to each other, no words, no conversations, just relaxing....doing nothing. There's even doing things around the house, in the yard, chores or individual things, you just feel the presence of the other person. Without consciously knowing it, you can hear their movements in other parts of the house, or you see them as they go by the window while working outside. Just a 1000 ways of just knowing....they are there. It's not a co-dependency kind of feeling. I've learned to be confident in being by myself. It's not that at all. It's a comforting feeling. Your person....is home. Home with you. |
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Post by sodone1492 on May 29, 2016 21:15:17 GMT -5
I'm right there with you, SmartKat. AP is busy. Kids are living their lives. I'm feeling lonely and single. It's an odd feeling. Most of the time I love it. Tonight it feels strange.
Nice to reconnect with EP friends again!
xo
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