An aspect of one of Brother
larry101 's recent posts prompt this post.
I'm interested in the memberships opinion about ultimatums to refusing spouses.
Now the ultimate sanction you can apply to a refusing spouse is to inform them that if they don't lift their game then you are outta there .... which, obviously you have to be prepared to do.
What I'm looking at here is the next level down - a step down from the above - an ultimatum that you WERE prepared to give and WERE prepared to do.
A theoretical example ....
Maybe you said to your spouse something like -
"If you do not see a professional about your issues within 14 days, I am putting the relationship on room mate status"Excluding the "lift your game or I'm outta here", what "lesser" ultimatums have you tried ?
What was the issue that you were prepared to stand your ground over ?
What form did your ultimatum take ?
What happened .... did you have to deliver the consequence ?
If it provoked a change in action by your spouse, was the change sustained ?
This subject has never really been explored at any depth in the group (as far as I recall)
There rarely seems to be any middle ground on ultimatums, rather, it seems to be at one extreme where there is no ultimatum issued to the other end where the ultimate ultimatum is given.
And nothing much in between.