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Post by h on Jan 25, 2019 23:51:41 GMT -5
My favorite one (middle of last summer) was the therapy scene in the movie "Bad Moms" where the husband (really a lazy, worthless guy who didn't help in the house at all) complains about the infrequent sex and lack of oral sex, and the wife responds that maybe if he cooked a meal once in a while or did a load of laundry, she'd be doing that more often.
My W laughed at what was supposed to be a scene showing how lazy the guy was.
I, in my most obnoxious voice, said "Wait a minute. Other guys get blowjobs for doing those things? I do those things all the time!"
There was more awkward silence after that. I think that ruined the rest of the movie for her.
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Post by Handy on Jan 26, 2019 2:19:07 GMT -5
H I, in my most obnoxious voice, said "Wait a minute. Other guys get blowjobs for doing those things? I do those things all the time!"Hay, WTG. I say WTG because I think I see too many instances where the person that wants a more physical relationship, too often does or says nothing, just to keep the peace.
Like many other things, practicing a bit of moderation is usually wise.
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Post by h on Jan 26, 2019 21:41:44 GMT -5
H I, in my most obnoxious voice, said "Wait a minute. Other guys get blowjobs for doing those things? I do those things all the time!"Hay, WTG. I say WTG because I think I see too many instances where the person that wants a more physical relationship, too often does or says nothing, just to keep the peace.
Like many other things, practicing a bit of moderation is usually wise.
This was only after many months of membership here building my confidence up enough to realize that I deserved more from a marriage. A year ago, I would have let it go and probably left the room quietly until the movie was over. I almost didn't, but I had the voices of the forum running through my mind full force. Sticking up for yourself it hard to do after a lifetime of avoiding conflict and going along to get along.
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Post by Handy on Jan 26, 2019 23:28:02 GMT -5
H Sticking up for yourself it hard to do after a lifetime of avoiding conflict and going along to get along.That is SO TRUE. I am getting there thanks to this forum and reading 10 to 20 books about what seems fair in regards to relationships. Tonight I was doing some searches about orbits of stars. I saw that our solar system is traveling around the center of the Milky Way at about 514,000miles an hour and thought that was a phenomenal speed so I told my W. She got all grumpy and said some nasty things to me. I waited a while and told her her rude comments were not called for and there are so many things that most people have no idea about what is really happening. My W is all upset Trump caved in on the government shutdown, another point we differ on. I sense her doing a pay-back, get even because I have my own ideas about the government shut-down.
Avoiding conflicts to get along made things worse for me.
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Post by baza on Jan 26, 2019 23:33:14 GMT -5
Here you go Brother Handy . Lyrics for "The Galaxy Song" from the Monty Python Film "The Meaning Of Life". Whenever life gets you down, Mrs. Brown, And things seem hard or tough, And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft, And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough, Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving And revolving at 900 miles an hour. It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned, The sun that is the source of all our power. Now the sun, and you and me, and all the stars that we can see, Are moving at a million miles a day, In the outer spiral arm, at 40, 000 miles an hour, Of a galaxy we call the Milky Way. Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars; It's a hundred thousand light-years side to side; It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light-years thick, But out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide. We're thirty thousand light-years from Galactic Central Point, We go 'round every two hundred million years; And our galaxy itself is one of millions of billions In this amazing and expanding universe. Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, In all of the directions it can whiz; As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know, Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is. So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure, How amazingly unlikely is your birth; And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
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Post by Handy on Jan 27, 2019 0:04:12 GMT -5
Baza, the lyrics illustrate my point. There is so much going on in reality and people believe myths and legends. I suppose my W thinks what happens on the day time drama program " The Bold and Beautiful" is more important than basic science. I grew up when "God Said" was the norm in the 1950's and you better not listen to those people (science) that are anti-God/Bible. I even followed along with most of that"God Said" stuff until I went to college in 1987 I still played along until about 5 or 10 years ago. Then I kept things to myself until recently. Now the miracle and myth stories irritate me. I tell people if everyone believed in falsehoods, then very few people would look for why things really happen and go on believing the myths, then we wouldn't advance our medical or scientific knowledge base.. I don't want to get into the differences of the details in your post compared to some of the scientific web sites I read because I know songs have words that make the song sound more cohesive and improve the flow when sung. The song is generally good and some of the scientific articles I have read use the words such as estimated" and "about. "My second point is when better measurement tools become available some of the numbers change. I once was active in a church when AIDS was first a big news story. The church's position was AIDS was God's punishment for men preferring to be gay. There was no mention of blood and body fluid transmissions. OK, if AIDS was God's punishment for men committing sin, then why look for a way to reduce the transmission of AIDS and why do the research to find out how HIV and AIDS causes people to die. There are several issues with death I would like to discuss with a few friends. They believe or at least say, if someone dies young "it was God's plan or God had more important work for the person." I am not out to change the world and I let a lot of things slide. My go to joke is why I stay up so late and go to bed between 2AM and 4AM is "I was correcting all of the mistakes that were on the Internet." In reality I was usually reading about some things people do or don't do (ILIASM style), some facts that I haven't been exposed to, or why things sort of work they way they do and some alternatives. Side note:
If the members of ILIASM think they/we have it bad, just read about how life is in Venezuela.
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Post by Handy on Jan 27, 2019 1:55:00 GMT -5
H, I just found out why my W was so crabby. She is a shopping addict and we have had several go-rounds on this topic. I just logged into my e-mail and saw she bought more crap from those sleazy TV ads. He past MO was buy stuff, pick a fight and hope I didn't find out what she bought.
Here I thought her crabbiness was all about Trump caving in on thew government shutdown on the news. What I missed at first was she was using her tablet to shop.
She turns on the news to a high volume, to cover up the sounds coming from her tablet. She doesn't know I have her shopping account activity sent to my e-mail and I am not going to ever tell her. I just say I see the packaging material in the trash. She used to spend over half of her paycheck with this addictive habit. Her retirement income is smaller but more than half to 3/4 goes to this same TV, shopping channel. She has over 50 pairs of shoes and rarely leaves the house. I have hauled car loads of the stuff she bought to the rescue mission store.
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Post by Handy on Jan 27, 2019 13:06:12 GMT -5
Baza, thanks for posting "The Galaxy Song" from the Monty Python Film "The Meaning Of Life".
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 27, 2019 13:29:34 GMT -5
I don't suppose we could have your liver, too?
I love British humor.
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catsloveme
Full Member
Dwelling in the possible
Posts: 207
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Post by catsloveme on Feb 2, 2019 13:03:01 GMT -5
A couple of years ago my wife and I were hosting a big family dinner. We were discussing television shows, what we liked and what we didn't like. I don't remember specifically what show we were talking about but she says (paraphrasing) "I hate the sex scenes! They are not relevant to the story at all! I wish when they make shows like this they would just leave the sex out." It felt like she had punched me in the gut. The sex scenes she was referring to were very minimal and not graphic at all. I immediately got upset, excused myself from the table, and went to the garage and just cried it out. I felt overwhelmed and smothered, it completely caught me off guard. I know it was just an off hand comment but it just seemed to embody her entire attitude about sex and made me feel terrible. We rarely watch tv or movies together anymore but on the rare occasions that we do and a sex scene starts I usually get up and leave. I don't want to get excited or aroused when she is around. I know nothing is going to happen and I find that to be very frustrating. Oh man. The off-hand remarks that come out of the blue like that are a real blow. I have experienced things like that many times. Hugs to you.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Feb 8, 2019 0:48:58 GMT -5
So I was watching Netflix last night with the refuser, and we were watching a show called "You". There came about a sex scene, and I realized I felt very awkward, almost like I was watching it in front of my mom. I don't know exactly what it means, but I know it isn't good. Now, we've been in the same room before during t.v. sex scenes, but this was different because we were on the couch and touching each other. I almost felt like I should turn it off, or move away from her. In my mind I could imagine her thinking... I hope he doesn't get any ideas from this. I should have turned off the t.v. and apologized to her... Sorry you had to see that, I know how offensive sex is to you.Or maybe it was because the girl in the sex scene was hot, and I found myself yearning for sex, and not with my refuser. Funny but not funny my boyfriend and I talked about the same thing with our exes it's like you are watching it with your mom or child or priest. Even got to the point where I not only didn't want to see him naked but didn't want him to see me to the point of almost breaking my neck dressing in a hurry. I finally just told him if the bathroom door is shut stay out. And I only changed in the bathroom if he was home. Crazy what our lives become.
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Post by lessingham on Feb 9, 2019 5:55:12 GMT -5
My wife does not like lesbian sex scenes. But in Game of Thrones she watched one and commented, "I suppose the best thing about lesbian kisses are sweet breath and no stubble." so, I shave hard and brush my teeth to make myself "lesbian fresh" before kissing. She finds it amusing.
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