|
Post by baza on Jan 21, 2019 17:06:17 GMT -5
Actually, yes, if you are talking about just the physical act. But no, I have not experienced lovemaking or found a partner yet. We talk a lot on here about what we are really missing is intimacy, and I am still missing that. What you've done Sister surfergirl is got rid of your *old* (and intractable) problem of being in an ILIASM shithole. Additionally you've resolved the lack of sex problem. You have also put yourself in a position of availability as regards a future partner....the pay off here might be a while off yet. You've replaced the old and intractable problem ... and replaced that with a new set of problems (eg dealing with a dickhead ex husband) which, given a bit of time, a resourceful chick like you will sort out. I think you've done great at this stage ... and you seem to be setting yourself up for future success when appropriate opportunity(s) arise.
|
|
|
Post by surfergirl on Jan 21, 2019 17:21:28 GMT -5
Alas, baza , you are correct. What I had before was an unsolvable problem: I didn't have control over another person and he did not have an ounce of empathy to control/change himself. Now I've traded it for something I do have control of: hunting down my prey.....
|
|
|
Post by lostintime on Feb 6, 2019 13:47:33 GMT -5
Here is my update: Things are almost the same, at this point I do not think I can change it. 1. I work less about 60-65 hours a week. ( I thought that it would help but it did not, I am now home at 8pm or earlier and almost do not work on weekends) 2. She started working and makes pretty good amount of money. 3. She like to have sex 1 to 2 times a week. I like to have sex 4 to 6 times a week. We usually end up with 3 to 4 times if I ask for it. (I do not like to ask for sex) 4. I offered divorce or seeing other people, but she keeps saying that everything is good and that its not a problem. 5. I considered seeing other people but its hard to find someone who I am attracted to physically and for them to be intelligent/educated. Also I cannot spend all day with them. 6. I think I will wait until kids go to college. Maybe I will find someone I like before that happens
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Feb 6, 2019 14:22:38 GMT -5
Lostintime We usually end up with 3 to 4 times if I ask for it. (I do not like to ask for sex)
I understand not liking to ask for sex but you say your minimum is 4x a week and you do have sex 3 or 4 times a week. that seems like a decent compromise.
From what I have read for the past 10+ years, affair partners do take a lot of time and money, if you are working 60-65 hrs a week and your W works at some decent job, you might be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire looking for some side action.
|
|
|
Post by lostintime on Feb 6, 2019 23:31:39 GMT -5
Lostintime We usually end up with 3 to 4 times if I ask for it. (I do not like to ask for sex)I understand not liking to ask for sex but you say your minimum is 4x a week and you do have sex 3 or 4 times a week. that seems like a decent compromise. From what I have read for the past 10+ years, affair partners do take a lot of time and money, if you are working 60-65 hrs a week and your W works at some decent job, you might be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire looking for some side action. My biggest problem is that I have to ask for sex. If I do not ask, its once a week. I do not think that I should be asking for sex, we agreed on certain days/time and its not working.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Feb 7, 2019 0:17:03 GMT -5
I have read posts by women that say "asking for sex" is a turn off. Maybe how you phrase your intentions or desires is an issue.
What some women say is they want to be propositioned by a guy with a high confidence level. Of course that worked for me a couple of times then it didn't work and might have been something my W used to criticize my approach. Some people advise "getting her in the mood" but crap, if you do that all of the time and it takes a long time, that gets old fast.
I really don't have mush to say or much that might help.
|
|