What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship?
I feel lost when it comes to communicating with my W. I have to ask questions 2 or 3 times to understand her meaning or position. I have to explain what I mean 2 or 3 times when I bring up a subject.
I watch other people go back and forth without having to explain or clarify their positions or intent and think WOW, they must have mental telepathy and know what the other s thinking.
OTH what I think about seems more serious (factual, scientific, economic, medical) than what most people talk about. I am good with listening and trying to understand the other person's points. I do have a resentment for people that go on and on especially when their point sounds biased or not based on facts.
Maybe I am just a quiet person that likes facts more than opinions that sound self-absorbed. Maybe I just need the right type of people to talk with.
I think if I talk honestly, most other people will think I am weird so I don't say much.
Where do you see yourself at the end of this year?
I will be divorced for a year. My house will be sold and I will be debt free, living in a new home, with zero memories of either my first or second failed marriages. Hopefully I will be in a physically better place by then, too, and having shed the stress weight I have put on.
Post by saarinista on Feb 17, 2020 16:12:31 GMT -5
I expect to end 2020 working for a living. Thank God, I have finally figured out a new career direction after years of dithering. I'm actively interviewing and look forward to announcing something fairly soon.
There's nothing worse than not earning a living, IMHO. Let's hear it for personal responsibility!
Please forgive any typos or poor sentence structure. As I often say, you can have it perfect or you can have it now. Here, I choose now.
Post by ScottDinTN on Feb 17, 2020 18:43:47 GMT -5
Good to hear those wanting to pay down debt. I believe in debt free living. Paid off everything but the house 10 years ago and haven't charged anything since. Best thing I ever did!
There have been layoffs three different times since I started at my job 2 years ago. If they ever come to the I.T. department, I know I will be the first one out the door (last hired, first fired...). I've been preparing to start my own business in case I get laid off. Then I could hit the ground running. I'm tired of working for idiots. I want to be my own boss. Its a dream of mine and I think its time to get it started. Planning to start doing jobs on the side in April when my non-compete from my previous employer expires.
My youngest is still in school so I don't plan on moving out this year unless something big changes.
Planning to finish more of my basement apartment so I can live completely separate. I just finished part of my bathroom; just have to put in a shower next. After that a small kitchenette and I won't have any reason to ever go upstairs.
New Job. Maybe not travel so much (80%) I am tired of being on the road while my house implodes. I was traveling last week with my wife at home with the flu and my kid had to stay home from school for a day to take care of her..... sucks. I know however I have to travel or I will go crazy as well....
Where do you see yourself at the end of this year?
I hope to have more of my debts paid down. My income takes a dip in the summer so I normally pay bills ahead where I can to minimize the hit in July and August. My goal is to have as many small debts as possible paid off by June to minimize the number of bills overall. Then I will have more of my income to whittle away at the larger debts this Fall. Improving my debt to income ratio is part of my long term goal towards getting out and not going bankrupt from it.
Bits of me are dying but others are growing. One step at a time.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5