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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 28, 2019 21:36:37 GMT -5
greatcoastal I used to think another person giving meant they did without something and I certainly didn't want others to have to sacrifice on my account. My point is, things changed so I adapted but it took a long time for me to change. At one time a counselor suggested I had a difficult time with changes and my different idea of how "things should be."
Letting go of "how things should be" and living life as it is dealt to me on a daily basis has helped.
This isn't about $$$ ,it's about respect, and trust. Receiving respect of your right to say "no". Trusting someone enough to be able to express your needs, desires, thoughts and feelings without feeling like you are asking for a huge sacrifice on your account. Start taking!! (receiving) without feeling guilty or undeserving, or that you now owe them something. Do you feel depressed, or unworthy when your spouse continues to demoralize and berate your thoughts and actions, because you were raised to believe "this is how things should be?" That is a one way street paved with double standards. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Reverse that: Don't tolerate what others do to you, if you would not tolerate you doing it to them! Gee handy, i'm so sorry this is happening to you, so..what do you plan to do about it? By taking,(receiving) you are actually giving. You are giving someone else the opportunity to meet a need of yours that you can not do by yourself. But you have to make it known by asking for it first. A hard lesson that I ( a co dependent, always pleasing the family and putting myself at the bottom of the list) am still learning.
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Post by Handy on Dec 29, 2019 2:12:27 GMT -5
greatcoastal I have physically accepted people doing things for me. My internal mind set still has a little problem but I work on pushing back any negativity, because I know it makes other people feel better if I graciously accept their help or gifts. Asking for help or somethings is still on my avoiding list except for medical assistance. That is easy for me to do now.
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Post by sadkat on Dec 30, 2019 10:08:45 GMT -5
What is one major thing you plan to do in 2020?
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Post by Handy on Dec 30, 2019 12:17:21 GMT -5
Complete my DNA miss-match treatments by Sept, get back to doing yoga maybe by April, ride my bike again when it gets warmer, maybe having a stent installed. I also want to convert my 1990 mini van to a camper van, sell one car and get rid of stuff so I can work on cars inside my shop. This is all stuff that is considered cleaning up my side of the street. I have more things but these are the most important. I am also working on caring less about my W thinks and other people's opinions.
Sadkat, you said "one thing." The DNA crap is my main concern.
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Post by solodriver on Dec 30, 2019 12:50:59 GMT -5
Continuing to work on myself and work towards separation from my refuser.
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Post by saarinista on Dec 30, 2019 13:18:59 GMT -5
Get a job.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 30, 2019 19:30:22 GMT -5
Making more time for riding my motorcycle, or selling it. My youngest is having a child, probably around the end of May. If I don't get more riding in this year with him I have a feeling it will be harder and harder to do each year going forward.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Dec 30, 2019 20:11:53 GMT -5
What is one major thing you plan to do in 2020? Get a new job. I'll be finishing up a post-Master's certificate program in May, so more opportunities, hopefully! (To follow up on the holiday wishes, I was able to spend a week with my family for Christmas. So happy! )
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Post by jim44444 on Dec 30, 2019 22:04:17 GMT -5
What is one major thing you plan to do in 2020? My daughter and I are planning to ride the Great Allegheny Passage and the C&O this summer, DC to Pittsburgh.
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Post by Handy on Dec 30, 2019 22:47:13 GMT -5
Jim44444 ..... planning to ride the Great Allegheny Passage and the C&O this summer, DC to Pittsburgh.
Way to go!!! I watched 20+ videos by several posters. Dave, "Three Wheel Journey," was one of my early favorites. He shows where he is/camps and gives decent advice on many things if you are "out riding and alone."
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Post by solodriver on Dec 30, 2019 23:52:38 GMT -5
I hiked several miles of the C&O with my Boy Scout troop as a teen.
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Post by saarinista on Dec 31, 2019 16:11:06 GMT -5
It's a pity the canal era was so short-lived in the US. There's something very intriguing and romantic about canals. 🛥
Unfortunately, as I recall, the railroad era brought the canal era to an abrupt halt in America before many of them were built. 😔
Nevertheless, a few remain and they're ripe for conversion to trails, as are the rail paths, which are also being converted.
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Post by saarinista on Dec 31, 2019 16:38:38 GMT -5
Hey, I watched those videos. Now I wanna do that!
My only concern would be they look a bit bumpy and gravelly. Does that present a problem? Do you ever get punctured tires or anything like that?
For some reason I was thinking they were made of concrete. I guess I'm a delicate snowflake. 🙄
Still I'd like to try that sometime. Very scenic.
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Post by jim44444 on Dec 31, 2019 18:16:52 GMT -5
My only concern would be they look a bit bumpy and gravelly. Does that present a problem? Do you ever get punctured tires or anything like that? . Some of the paths are paved. The Silver Comet from Smyrna GA to Alabama is paved. The GAP and the C&O have paved and unpaved hard packed sections. The unpaved sections are rideable with a mountain bike or a hybrid. Not a skinny tire. Many of the trails in the Cuyahoga National Park are packed limestone and easy to ride. Flats are part of biking. Always carry a patch kit and a hand pump or canned air.
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Post by Handy on Dec 31, 2019 19:39:53 GMT -5
saarinista
My only concern would be they look a bit bumpy and gravelly. Does that present a problem? Do you ever get punctured tires or anything like that?About the bumpy and gravelly part, that can be somewhat eliminated by tire width. Skinny tired or road bikes have 23-25 milometer (1" inch wide tires and tire pressures up to 120 PSI. Those types of tires at that pressure transmit the bumps to the handle bard and seat. There are hybrid bike tires that are 37mm (1.5")wide and are pressured to 70PSI. a little lower pressure and a little smoother ride, plus they don't sink in the sand as much. Mountain bikes tires are 45mm (1.75") to 60mm (2.35" or more wide and they only need 25/30 to 60 PSI PSI of air pressure so you roll over the the bumps at a lower(35psi) pressure and on hard smooth pavement at 60PSI the bike is easier to pedal and coast further than at the 25/35 PSI range. Flats are easy to fix once you do 10 or so flats. Good Mountain bikes have quick release wheels so no tools are needed to take off the wheels. Once the air is out of the tire, a small plastic or metal tire spoon/lever makes taking the tire off the rim easy. To find the puncture, I just inflate the tube, open my mouth wide while passing the tube in front of my mouth. I feel the air leak as a cool breeze in my mouth. Patch kits come with a buffer, glue and patches. If you want to avoid some flats/punctures, make the tires tubeless by adding "Stans" or a similar latex solution and a tubeless kit to your rims. The latex plugs small holes fairly fast and all you do is add air. You can usually ride several days to permanently, without repairing small punctures. This information is all on Youtube and my tools and supplies are all from eBay.
A small dual stage tire pump($15), a set of Allen wrenches & chain tool ($6), and a tire patch kit ($3) in an under seat bag ($10), to me is a minimum maintenance kit. I don't leave home with out my maintenance kit, a water bottle (used Gator Aid bottle) and a decent bike lock. The Dollar Tree had bike locks for $1, buy 3 and use all 3 locks. Locks don't slow down experienced bike thieves, just mostly honest people and kids. Back to tires, on rough or sandy surfaces I drop my tire pressure and that eliminates lots of problems. A wider tire will allow a lower pressure, which solves some of the rough terrain problems. Also suspension on the front fork helps. Lower priced mountain bikes have springs or elastomer shocks to help smooth out the ride. The higher priced bikes have variable air pressure suspension shocks front and rear. That adds a bit of weight to the bike but makes the ride so much smoother to ride. I really, really like my air suspension bike. Add on a suspension seat post for even a smoother ride.
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