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Post by time4intimacy on Nov 27, 2018 19:43:14 GMT -5
It has been a while since I have been on here. It looked like we were turning a corner and I stayed off here to just concentrate on my marriage in hopes I could improve the sex life. It seems the improvement was just a false alarm or my wife realizing she needed to do something and now feels that should hold me over for the next several months or more. We fought last night about it when I unloaded on her after she asked me to do the 10th thing in a night and when I said no, she said when I make a request, I just need you to say yes. Too bad that only works in one direction.
Just so frustrated with having a strong sex drive while stuck in a no sex situation.
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Post by baza on Nov 27, 2018 20:12:26 GMT -5
Welcome back Brother time4intimacy . Reads like you were the recipient of "re-set sex".
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Post by saarinista on Nov 27, 2018 22:04:29 GMT -5
It has been a while since I have been on here. It looked like we were turning a corner and I stayed off here to just concentrate on my marriage in hopes I could improve the sex life. It seems the improvement was just a false alarm or my wife realizing she needed to do something and now feels that should hold me over for the next several months or more. We fought last night about it when I unloaded on her after she asked me to do the 10th thing in a night and when I said no, she said when I make a request, I just need you to say yes. Too bad that only works in one direction. Just so frustrated with having a strong sex drive while stuck in a no sex situation. To clarify, what kinds of requests is she making of you? Requests to do 10 things a night to fix up the house in exchange for sex? Choreplay? Have you been having sex at all? Is this sexual extortion? Except that she doesn't produce the promised goods? At first I though maybe she was wearing you out asking for 10 orgasms in one night, but I guess not, as I reread.... 😞 Anyway, welcome back.
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Post by time4intimacy on Nov 27, 2018 22:10:16 GMT -5
Welcome back Brother time4intimacy . Reads like you were the recipient of "re-set sex". That sounds about right. I guess I belong in here baza.
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Post by time4intimacy on Nov 27, 2018 22:14:06 GMT -5
It has been a while since I have been on here. It looked like we were turning a corner and I stayed off here to just concentrate on my marriage in hopes I could improve the sex life. It seems the improvement was just a false alarm or my wife realizing she needed to do something and now feels that should hold me over for the next several months or more. We fought last night about it when I unloaded on her after she asked me to do the 10th thing in a night and when I said no, she said when I make a request, I just need you to say yes. Too bad that only works in one direction. Just so frustrated with having a strong sex drive while stuck in a no sex situation. To clarify, what kinds of requests is she making of you? Requests to do 10 things a night to fix up the house in exchange for sex? Choreplay? Have you been having sex at all? Is this sexual extortion? Except that she doesn't produce the promised goods? At first I though maybe she was wearing you out asking for 10 orgasms in one night, but I guess not, as I reread.... 😞 Anyway, welcome back. They are more like complaints and request. Ask if she wants liquor before I close the liquor cabinet. Don't come into the bathroom if I am using it, even though we have a seperate door for the toilet, don't leave any air in the cheese bag, can you please not talk to me while I am on the computer...things like that. It has nothing to do with sex or exchange for sex. I do a million house projects, support her in all her activities and do a ton of household chores. If it was 10 orgasms, I can deliver that.
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 28, 2018 2:04:35 GMT -5
Welcome back, time4intimacy. There's not much else I can say that you don't already know. We've been through that, with a sudden surge of activity and a belief that we finally found the magic ingredient, then a fizzle and the wtf feeling that follows.
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Post by saarinista on Nov 28, 2018 4:23:16 GMT -5
time4intimacy hmm...I'm trying to figure out if her requests and complaints would be less bothersome if you were having more sex, or whether they are truly annoying and symptomatic of something else in your relationship that is driving you apart and making her not want to have sex, or.....spmethong else entirely? just thinking out loud.
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Post by h on Nov 28, 2018 8:32:49 GMT -5
time4intimacy hmm...I'm trying to figure out if her requests and complaints would be less bothersome if you were having more sex, or whether they are truly annoying and symptomatic of something else in your relationship that is driving you apart and making her not want to have sex, or.....spmethong else entirely? just thinking out loud. Personally, the above described requests and complaints wouldn't bother me much at all, if we were having regular and frequent sex. Sex calms down my anxiety and moodiness and makes it much easier to deal with minor annoyances. Without the sex though, that shit would send me over the edge. Things that shouldn't bother me at all, suddenly irritate the hell out of me and make me want to scream.
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Post by sadkat on Nov 28, 2018 9:42:31 GMT -5
I’m sorry that circumstances brought you back here. I just finished reading an email about expectations that I’ll post shortly on another thread. What we are living with is not easy. Welcome back and I hope you will continue to find support here.
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Post by workingonit on Nov 28, 2018 13:25:14 GMT -5
Welcome back though sorry for the need. Adding to what h is saying about sex making the other things easier I think when there is the active connection and intimacy from sex it is kind of natural and joyful to meet other needs. Just a thought
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Post by time4intimacy on Nov 28, 2018 22:19:03 GMT -5
time4intimacy hmm...I'm trying to figure out if her requests and complaints would be less bothersome if you were having more sex, or whether they are truly annoying and symptomatic of something else in your relationship that is driving you apart and making her not want to have sex, or.....spmethong else entirely? just thinking out loud. Personally, the above described requests and complaints wouldn't bother me much at all, if we were having regular and frequent sex. Sex calms down my anxiety and moodiness and makes it much easier to deal with minor annoyances. Without the sex though, that shit would send me over the edge. Things that shouldn't bother me at all, suddenly irritate the hell out of me and make me want to scream. I think it is mostly related to no sex. I just get to the point I don't care about her request when she ignores my request and more specifically, if I bring up the lack of sex, she does not even acknowledge I have spoken. So, I am really not in the mood to do something she wants when I don't feel she gives a shit about what I want.
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Post by time4intimacy on Nov 28, 2018 22:19:36 GMT -5
time4intimacy hmm...I'm trying to figure out if her requests and complaints would be less bothersome if you were having more sex, or whether they are truly annoying and symptomatic of something else in your relationship that is driving you apart and making her not want to have sex, or.....spmethong else entirely? just thinking out loud. Personally, the above described requests and complaints wouldn't bother me much at all, if we were having regular and frequent sex. Sex calms down my anxiety and moodiness and makes it much easier to deal with minor annoyances. Without the sex though, that shit would send me over the edge. Things that shouldn't bother me at all, suddenly irritate the hell out of me and make me want to scream. Exactly!
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Post by time4intimacy on Nov 28, 2018 22:22:01 GMT -5
Welcome back though sorry for the need. Adding to what h is saying about sex making the other things easier I think when there is the active connection and intimacy from sex it is kind of natural and joyful to meet other needs. Just a thought It is amazing how intimacy can eliminate so many annoyances.
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Post by solodriver on Nov 28, 2018 22:55:16 GMT -5
time4intimacy hmm...I'm trying to figure out if her requests and complaints would be less bothersome if you were having more sex, or whether they are truly annoying and symptomatic of something else in your relationship that is driving you apart and making her not want to have sex, or.....spmethong else entirely? just thinking out loud. Personally, the above described requests and complaints wouldn't bother me much at all, if we were having regular and frequent sex. Sex calms down my anxiety and moodiness and makes it much easier to deal with minor annoyances. Without the sex though, that shit would send me over the edge. Things that shouldn't bother me at all, suddenly irritate the hell out of me and make me want to scream. I know lately I get angry pretty fast. There was a news story on TV that said people who get less sleep have anger problems. I said so do people who haven't had sex in 20 years.
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Post by h on Nov 29, 2018 7:02:35 GMT -5
Personally, the above described requests and complaints wouldn't bother me much at all, if we were having regular and frequent sex. Sex calms down my anxiety and moodiness and makes it much easier to deal with minor annoyances. Without the sex though, that shit would send me over the edge. Things that shouldn't bother me at all, suddenly irritate the hell out of me and make me want to scream. I know lately I get angry pretty fast. There was a news story on TV that said people who get less sleep have anger problems. I said so do people who haven't had sex in 20 years. Maybe a big chunk of those people can't sleep because of the lack of sex. I know I don't sleep well after it's been a certain length of time without.
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