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Post by javba on Oct 14, 2018 7:26:11 GMT -5
Yes, there is always hope, but I just saw a meme today that really resonated with me. I'll just post the article link as the full article is worth a gander: tinybuddha.com/blog/the-danger-of-wishful-thinking-nothing-changes-if-we-dont-take-action/Definitely not calling you out on 'hope'! We ALL need it as the seed of our planning. It just reminded me of seeing this piece today (-: Four and a half years ago, I was presented with hope......but it has taken four and a half years of action (often excruciatingly difficult action) to bring things to fruition. And now, in 12 days, she's coming to live with me. Four and a half years........I'm glad I didn't know how long it would all take on the day I met her or I might have bowed out and continued on my downward spiral! Something told me, though.....'Hang on to this one.....no matter what.....' So I did (-: PHOTO DELETED FOR PRIVACY She's very pretty - thanks for sharing. I am happy for you, and for other of our fellow travellers that have found some reprieve, NOT to mention UNICORN level luck such as yourself, Sham, BOC, and few others mentioned in this thread. Now to HOPE. I firmly believe hope is the last resort of the hopeless, i.e. the magical thinking things will change. That's NOT the context in which I used the word HOPE, Here's what I meant. Most of us DO NOT need UNICORN level compatibilities, and satisfaction we just need GOOD ENOUGH level of functioning in our lives, relationships, as a START. One can build from there. So in this respect I have most often had "GOOD ENOUGH" connections OUTSIDE OF HOPE. Majority of our friends here may attest HOPE itself did not bring them anything but despair. So when I run into WORKABLE people - that's also an affirmation on myself i.e. I am not as broken as I may think some days. Long post short - Hope is DOCUMENTED as the last evil that came out of Pandora's box, and changes little. ACTION OTOH - now we're talking change. Thanks for reading so far - Have a great new week y'all It's frosting in IL GOD I want out of IL |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 14, 2018 14:00:22 GMT -5
So happy for you both enjoy the rest of your life!
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Post by ggold on Oct 14, 2018 14:20:45 GMT -5
I truly believe that the divine brought the two of you together at the exact right moment. You each had a path to travel that led to where you are now. Yes, it took time but you held onto hope and love. I cannot express the happiness I feel for the both of you. RexCorvus and I are doing the same. We are moving forward. Our love is absolutely worth this long and tough journey that we are taking to be together. Sending you both positive vibes always!! G |
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 15, 2018 4:35:51 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!!
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Post by javba on Oct 15, 2018 5:44:44 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!! Done, thanks for reminders, photo deleted |
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 15, 2018 7:13:21 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!! Done, thanks for reminders, photo deleted Thank you, my good man! |
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Post by shamwow on Oct 15, 2018 8:14:32 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!! I am glad that my posting pics of ballofconfusion and I helped inspire you to take steps forward for yourself. I was little worried at the time that posting such here was a bit mean. After all, the majority of folks here are still mired in their SM shithole. As someone who had gone years without myself I well understood the frustration those kinds of pictures could produce. But I'm glad to see my initial instinct was right. That posting those pictures could help tip someone on that really scary fence enough to take a CHANCE at a happier life instead of the LIKELIHOOD of living the rest of your life in misery due to fear. I compare your current posts to our PMs and see a very very different man emerging. Well done, sir. Well done. |
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Post by shamwow on Oct 15, 2018 8:37:15 GMT -5
 From Sunday. Just for clarification ballofconfusion is obviously the hot chick on the right. Less obviously, I'm the one to the left. The orangutan is the one photo bombing us in the center at the San Diego Zoo. Damn orangutans... Always trying to be the center of attention (and likely throwing poop too). Thank God for thick glass. |
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Post by thebaffledking on Oct 15, 2018 8:39:44 GMT -5
Thanks, Shammy. Yes, I hesitated at posting a pic, but just like 'before-and-after' weightloss photos that people post here and there, these things can serve as inspiration to take the path less traveled and see what's out there. It also reminds me of how far I've come.......I first googled sexless marriage 12 years ago.....as things went from bad to worse, it got very very dark for me. I am TOTALLY a 'til death do us part' kind of guy. It took YEARS to get to the point of realization that I was no longer living each day but just surviving it. And after some more years I decided that wasn't why I was here.....and the chain started turning the other way....from me trying desperately (and with the most incredible futility) to appease her and doormat myself and lift weights and just try to be some form of a mysterious 'better'.......to me saying FUCK THIS SHIT!!! And the world was waiting with a promise for me......in the form of a woman the likes of whom I'd never met before. It's just a pretty big deal and deserves some celebration!! I am definitely of the GET THE FUCK OUT camp, and I know that doesn't always play well, so I sort of stick to my own story and quietly wish the best for every person here who has had to google 'sexless marriage'......
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Post by shamwow on Oct 15, 2018 8:42:07 GMT -5
 This one is from two weeks ago. ballofconfusion is more at home with the ocean behind her than with a poop throwing monkey I think. 😱 |
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Post by workingonit on Oct 15, 2018 9:14:21 GMT -5
shamwow your instincts are excellent.your phitos and stories of you and the lovely BOC are inspiring to me beyond what you can imagine. I feel like I believe I will find some sex when I leave but I tend to doubt I will fall in love and find a real partner. I have some deep unconscious beliefs that I failed at that and won't get another chance. I am working on getting over that and you guys really help. I too am a forever type of person. So much so that I have stayed sexless for 9 years! It takes some shifting to accept that I need to leave when I committed to being with him forever. I am there now and everyones stories are beginnng to give me tendrils of hope for more.
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Post by Handy on Oct 15, 2018 13:34:29 GMT -5
shamwow all I can say is WOW and the best wishes to both of you!
It is exciting to see you holding BOC and her holding on to you so tightly and smiling like she really feels good being next to you.
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Post by shamwow on Oct 15, 2018 15:38:52 GMT -5
shamwow all I can say is WOW and the best wishes to both of you! It is exciting to see you holding BOC and her holding on to you so tightly and smiling like she really feels good being next to you. It feels really good being next to her too but since I've got the condor arms it falls on me to reach out and hold the phone for selfies. As a result it sometimes looks like I'm pulling towards the camera and away from her. It is a burden I gladly bear. |
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Post by Handy on Oct 15, 2018 23:58:05 GMT -5
shamwow, a solution to taking selfies is a selfie stick. Every narcissist has one. But maybe you are a caring person and not a narcissist. Just kidding about the N word.
Truthfully I didn't see anything wrong with the pictures. All I saw was the unwritten body language that said I want to be close to you from both sides. That is one of the big things missing for the ILIASM group. Feeling close with someone very valuable.
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Post by RexCorvus on Oct 16, 2018 0:06:25 GMT -5
Hey Guys, if you quoted my post and it contains her photo, I would very much appreciate it if you would edit the post to remove the quote and/or photo. I had told her I'd just leave it up for a couple days and didn't expect it would appear in full quote glory. Thank you!! I will let ggold know in the morning to edit her quote TBK. Absolutely wonderful hearing your update. I completely know the excruciating difficult action this journey entails. I am glad to hear you are at the fruitful end, with renewed life, love, hope and happiness. Bless you brother, let her help heal those wounds. The journey, as arduous as it was, was absolutely worth it. RC |
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