Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2018 23:23:31 GMT -5
I often reference Maslow. You might hear me saying that I seem to be always on the first rung of Maslow's Pyramid. Mostly I am talking about home/boat/auto/camper repair and maintenance and how I am a slave to my possessions.
I doubt that I will ever complete level 3. Such is life.
Does self actualization actually exist?
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kittymox
Junior Member
Just a dandelion
Posts: 32
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by kittymox on Apr 13, 2018 11:17:17 GMT -5
My wife on the other hand seems to be willing to only consider sex (both the act and "sexual intimacy") AFTER she feels the "safety" of a marriage... which in her definition is "where there is a 100% commitment to 'til-death-do-us part". I think that things are worse for my wife. She needs safety, to feel loved and to have self-esteem before considering having sex. The idea that a couple builds these things together is utterly foreign to her. My partner as well. For me, physical intimacy helps build overall intimacy, safety, sell esteem, security, etc. I realize that just 'cause someone sticks it to ya, it doesn't mean safety, security, etc are a sure thing, but for some of us, it allows us to open up, be vulnerable, and trust. My partner is the opposite; he needs to feel overall intimacy before he can achieve physical intimacy. I sincerely don't know how to work with that. Neither of us is wrong in our approach, I don't think, but both models require a leap of faith and he has yet to take that leap... |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2018 12:16:39 GMT -5
My partner as well. For me, physical intimacy helps build overall intimacy, safety, sell esteem, security, etc. I realize that just 'cause someone sticks it to ya, it doesn't mean safety, security, etc are a sure thing, but for some of us, it allows us to open up, be vulnerable, and trust. My partner is the opposite; he needs to feel overall intimacy before he can achieve physical intimacy. I sincerely don't know how to work with that. Neither of us is wrong in our approach, I don't think, but both models require a leap of faith and he has yet to take that leap... I do think that your/my model is better because (a) it conforms to what a marriage is supposed to be sex-wise, and (b) one partner isn't held hostage by the other on an important part of the relationship. Saying that one must do X before the partner will agree to have sex means that only one partner must put all the work into the relationship while the other will sit back and judge (and probably move the goalposts.) |
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 13, 2018 12:49:31 GMT -5
“My wife on the other hand seems to be willing to only consider sex (both the act and "sexual intimacy") AFTER she feels the "safety" of a marriage... which in her definition is "where there is a 100% commitment to 'til-death-do-us part".
How could you offer such a commitment when she’s only a roommate?
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