Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse

choosinghappy Senior Members ILIASM Poet Laureate Posts: 1,741 Age Range: 36-40	Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse Jun 2, 2018 19:14:12 GMT -5 via Tapatalk elynne likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by choosinghappy on Jun 2, 2018 19:14:12 GMT -5 elynne I think you should read this linked article. You might get some benefit out of learning about and examining your and your H’s attachment styles.
	"Let your faith be bigger than your fear."

flyingsolo
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Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse Jun 3, 2018 20:14:30 GMT -5

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Post by flyingsolo on Jun 3, 2018 20:14:30 GMT -5

Jan 17, 2018 11:11:33 GMT -5 northstarmom said:

This part of the article especially is important:

“One of the things that can emerge as you explore this territory is an inability to love yourself...”

Seems like I get in a lot of "self loving" lately being in a sexless marriage. Thank you Rosey!

elynne
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Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse Jun 4, 2018 6:17:30 GMT -5 via Tapatalk

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Post by elynne on Jun 4, 2018 6:17:30 GMT -5

Jun 2, 2018 19:14:12 GMT -5 choosinghappy said:

elynne I think you should read this linked article. You might get some benefit out of learning about and examining your and your H’s attachment styles.

I’ve read and reread it. Interestingly h got mad at me for pulling back. It seems he likes being pursued. Me- I don’t so much enjoy the pursuing and being pushed away.

bballgirl
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Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse Jun 4, 2018 6:51:42 GMT -5 via mobile choosinghappy and elynne like this

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Post by bballgirl on Jun 4, 2018 6:51:42 GMT -5

Jun 4, 2018 6:17:30 GMT -5 elynne said:

Jun 2, 2018 19:14:12 GMT -5 choosinghappy said:

elynne I think you should read this linked article. You might get some benefit out of learning about and examining your and your H’s attachment styles.

I’ve read and reread it. Interestingly h got mad at me for pulling back. It seems he likes being pursued. Me- I don’t so much enjoy the pursuing and being pushed away.

Of course you don't enjoy it! Women want to be pursued just like for most men like the hunt and the challenge. It's the way we are wired. In a healthy relationship this dynamic works. It sounds like you guys are incompatible, to say the least.

flyingsolo
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Age Range: 51-55

Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse Jun 4, 2018 13:05:33 GMT -5

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Post by flyingsolo on Jun 4, 2018 13:05:33 GMT -5

www.psychalive.org/what-is-your-attachment-style/

Just took the quiz myself. For some reason I couldn't get the long form version to work, but the short version did. It gives you an interesting graph when you are done.

mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

mirrororchid: Heard on a podcast: "Dating is where we present our best selves. Vulnerability is the opposite. Where we risk our partner knowing things that are imperfect. This is the way to forge the life partner bond." Sept 10, 2024 19:17:03 GMT -5

week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5

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Having a "Dismissive Avoidant" Spouse

Post by choosinghappy on Jun 2, 2018 19:14:12 GMT -5

Post by flyingsolo on Jun 3, 2018 20:14:30 GMT -5

Post by elynne on Jun 4, 2018 6:17:30 GMT -5

Post by bballgirl on Jun 4, 2018 6:51:42 GMT -5

Post by flyingsolo on Jun 4, 2018 13:05:33 GMT -5

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