Matt Lauer - Another One Accused

Oh come on...now you are blaming Mike Pence for being a good Christian gentleman? He’s damned if he does, and damned if he doesn’t. It’s not that he believes he can’t control himself. It’s not to be tempted because that’s a natural thing between men and women...to be tempted. To say that forced sex is all he must think of when he’s around women is really low ball. However, even if that were the case, do we now blame a man for doing the right thing?

There’s a helluva big difference between a married man’s going to bars with women and a married man’s being in a regular room alone with a woman or having a business lunch with a woman. I can understand that some people would not be capable of having a drink alone due to the disinhibition alcohol causes especially if people are attracted to each other.

If a man refuses to do such things because he thinks they will lead to sex then he must be only focused on women as sexual objects. Unfortunately, the people who lose out due to his behavior and preoccupation are women who likely lose out on mentoring and career advancement because men are more likely to be in business positions of influence.

Some of my best mentors were men. We had business lunches and private meetings in our offices. No sex or sexual innuendo was involved.

I’ve mentored men including attractive ones and have had business lunches and dinners with them. I have not been tempted to do anything but business with them.

I am in a 4 year post sm romantic relationship. I have male friends who are like brothers. Sometimes I go out to dinner with them or have a drink with them. No sex or sexual innuendo is involved. My partner knows this and is fine with this. I do have male friends whom I find sexually attractive or who seem attracted to me. To avoid either of us being tempted, I do not hang out alone with them.

Religion has nothing to do with this. My personal sense of ethics does.

There are so many analogies to be drawn here.

Just because someone chooses not to participate in activities doesn't mean they fear succumbing to the evil potential therein. Some people simply choose to avoid even the perception of impropriety. That's hardly an attribute to be twisted into something bad, especially when it's a personal choice and not a behavior that's being imposed on others.

There are modern cultures within the US where it's inappropriate for an unmarried man and woman to touch, even to shake hands. Is it because they fear it'll lead to sex? Who cares why. It's their choice; it's not hard to respect it.

I'm going to respectively and politely disagree with that. Especially in these times of equal rights, and equal treatment. I can only imagine what would have happened to my career had I insisted that " I will not be alone in the office with another woman, another man must be present at all times." Good bye advancement and job! Just having to be alone with them while working the store together or after closing is an "activity that must be monitored by a third party of the same sex. What next? 4 people? 2 men and 2 woman? Who's monitoring who?  

If I can't be trusted to get the job done, alone, with another man, or with another woman, than I don't want to be there. The way things have gotten I might want a witness in case I am falsely accused.

Again I will bring up the double standards I faced as a stay at home dad. The same woman who would leave there kids with me, could not even walk into the house with me, with the kids present? I can imagine how offended a woman would 've been had I insisted not to be alone at any time with any of them while doing all the hundreds of hours of volunteer work. Simply because they're a woman, and I am a man. I doubt there would have been much " I respect that". Instead there would have been "how dare you accuse me of that, and what gives you the right to even think I'm interested in you, or would ever do that".

The whole thing can sound really blown out of proportion. Now there's the rub. The power that comes with the coercion of laws that are meant to protect, but can do more harm than good.

On a lighter note, I remember a time where I "accidentally" ran my fingers all through a fellow female employees hair! I had only been married a year, so running my hands through my W's hair was a daily ritual! One day we where all gathered together for a staff meeting. One of the ladies I worked with was showing me and the others some new guidelines on the computer. I was standing behind her looking over her shoulder. 
  Well many an evening my wife would show me things on the computer. I would stand behind her looking over her shoulder and run my fingers through her hair. I caught myself doing the same thing to my fellow employee! The setting made it feel so...natural, like a ritual.  my mind was focused on the computer. I was totally naive to what I was doing. Plus ,touching hair is not that uncommon in my line of work as an optician. Checking to see how a frame fits behind the ears, and making adjustments.

My face turned so red! I pulled back and said "Oh My Gosh!! Did I just do that? You're not my wife?! Everyone laughed! (not me -I was embarrassed,and nervous) She said, "that's okay, I don't mind. I kind of liked it". That never happened again. I still remember it.

What I can't stand is hypocrisy and MAN our world is full of it. I can't say anything else because it's political - but I do not like the world today after watching a news headline update. Seems a new precedent has been set, hope EVERYONE is raised to that standard in our congress, senate and white house now. EVERYONE.