|
|
Post by mypaintbrushes on Nov 22, 2017 2:29:07 GMT -5
Two days before Halloween, my husband announced he wants to separate for a week so I can decide if I want a “deep partnership” (as he defines it). He reiterated this Sunday, during a huge fight.
I’ve been depressed since the fires and have a lot of other stuff going on. I also had nearly 50,000 frequent flyer miles. I’m going on a solo trip as well, in February. I have a friend who lives where I’m going. I need to clear my head and have some time away.
I leave four months from tomorrow. I can’t wait!!
|
|
|
|
Post by mypaintbrushes on Nov 22, 2017 2:30:15 GMT -5
What is with my phone? That should say “TIME apart”.
|
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Nov 22, 2017 5:39:41 GMT -5
Time apart is a good thing in any marriage. A little space can answer the question: "how do I feel when I'm around him, VS how to I feel when I'm without him."
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Nov 22, 2017 7:04:58 GMT -5
Planned time apart showed me that I was much happier without my husband than I was with him. I never missed him. I grew sad as the time neared for his return. Time apart showed me I could flourish without him. It laid the groundwork for my divorcing without angst.
|
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Nov 22, 2017 8:11:43 GMT -5
Time apart is a good idea. As far as a separation, one week is just dipping your toe in the water. The vacation alone sounds very nice and therapeutic.
I was divorced a year and a half ago and I learned a lot about myself and some things about marriage in general. Some things to think about are what are the good things about you as a couple vs the bad and are the bad dealbreakers? When I divorced no sex with my spouse was a dealbreaker, we are trying to have a relationship again, enjoying each other's company, the family unit, and no sex with him is not a dealbreaker now it's a preference. Divorce was the right thing for me and for most in a SM but time apart is a great thing to figure out what you want for yourself. Best wishes.
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Nov 22, 2017 8:53:21 GMT -5
Time apart is a good thing in any marriage. A little space can answer the question: "how do I feel when I'm around him, VS how to I feel when I'm with him." I can't figure out exactly what it is you are saying here. |
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Nov 22, 2017 11:16:49 GMT -5
Time apart is a good thing in any marriage. A little space can answer the question: "how do I feel when I'm around him, VS how to I feel when I'm with him." I can't figure out exactly what it is you are saying here. Nix it - I meant to go on, but thoughts were not working out: I hit post by accident. Sorry bout that. |
|
|
|
Time apart
Nov 22, 2017 11:53:49 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by northstarmom on Nov 22, 2017 11:53:49 GMT -5
Miles, your post made sense to me. Time apart lets one find out if one is happier with or without one’s partner,
|
|
maninfull
New Member
Posts: 14 
Age Range: 56-60
|
Post by maninfull on Nov 22, 2017 11:53:51 GMT -5
Two days before Halloween, my husband announced he wants to separate for a week so I can decide if I want a “deep partnership” (as he defines it). He reiterated this Sunday, during a huge fight. That sounds profoundly manipulative to me. |
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Nov 22, 2017 11:58:54 GMT -5
“Two days before Halloween, my husband announced he wants to separate for a week so I can decide if I want a “deep partnership” (as he defines it). He reiterated this Sunday, during a huge fight. “
I suspect he has plans with another woman. Still, time apart could be a good way for her to find out if she’s happier without him around. To fully test that out, I suggest they remain apart for at least a month. When at my suggestion my ex did a year sabbatical abroad without me, I never missed him. I felt free and happy, the same way I ended up feeling when we divorced a few years later.
|
|
|
|
Post by M2G on Nov 22, 2017 14:12:24 GMT -5
Miles, your post made sense to me. Time apart lets one find out if one is happier with or without one’s partner, Y I saw your like & I fixed the typo from "with and with" to "with and without"  |
|
|
|
Post by merrygoround on Nov 22, 2017 15:19:22 GMT -5
Considering you're a member here, I would be asking for an explanation of "deep partnership". I wonder too as to his rather exact plan of a week away. It does sound premeditated and suspicious to me.
But yes, your plans with your friend in February could be just the ticket. Time away from the situation brings so much clarity (either way). For me, on a ten day break away from ex, from an explosively tense environment which was making me ill, surrounded by friends and family was exactly what I needed to recharge and clear my mind. The telling sign was dreading going back. We filed for divorce upon my return.
|
|
|
|
Time apart
Nov 22, 2017 15:32:25 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by mypaintbrushes on Nov 22, 2017 15:32:25 GMT -5
Time apart is a good thing in any marriage. A little space can answer the question: "how do I feel when I'm around him, VS how to I feel when I'm without him." Agreed. I suspect I’ll decide the same. |
|
|
|
Time apart
Nov 22, 2017 15:38:28 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by mypaintbrushes on Nov 22, 2017 15:38:28 GMT -5
Time apart is a good idea. As far as a separation, one week is just dipping your toe in the water. The vacation alone sounds very nice and therapeutic. I was divorced a year and a half ago and I learned a lot about myself and some things about marriage in general. Some things to think about are what are the good things about you as a couple vs the bad and are the bad dealbreakers? When I divorced no sex with my spouse was a dealbreaker, we are trying to have a relationship again, enjoying each other's company, the family unit, and no sex with him is not a dealbreaker now it's a preference. Divorce was the right thing for me and for most in a SM but time apart is a great thing to figure out what you want for yourself. Best wishes. Thank you! I suspect this trio will be very therapeutic as well. |
|
|
|
Time apart
Nov 22, 2017 15:40:53 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by mypaintbrushes on Nov 22, 2017 15:40:53 GMT -5
Two days before Halloween, my husband announced he wants to separate for a week so I can decide if I want a “deep partnership” (as he defines it). He reiterated this Sunday, during a huge fight. That sounds profoundly manipulative to me. His reasons for wanting me to think about our relationship are for things like not showing “deep interest” in his hobbies and not disciplining our son the way he would. When we’re all home, he tends to spend most/all the night in his “man cave” while we are downstairs. |
|
