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Post by wastedyears on Nov 17, 2017 16:38:43 GMT -5
For the past couple of months, a married man at work has been coming into my office more than usual to chat. The conversations are getting more and more sexual. At first he brought up the subject of bras, which I thought was odd. Then, about a week later, he mentioned that he wears women's bras and panties. It has increasingly escalated from there. He has told me that he prefers to be submissive, and then showed me this thing called a cage that he wears on his penis. Last week he showed me an actual picture of his penis. I asked him why he was showing it to me, and he said that he was too small to please his wife.
Every time that he starts these conversations, I try to act nonchalant or steer the conversation back to his wife somehow. I do not offer any details of my own (non) sex life. I am not attracted to him at all, and I am starting to feel very uncomfortable. The pathetic thing is, I think the reason that I haven't told him to back off is because I somehow feel validated by his attention. This is probably going to sound very naive, but do you think that he is talking to me about these things because he is attracted to me? I am not used to having sexual conversations with men in this way. Women have told me that I am pretty, and sometimes I feel like men are checking me out, but because of my SM situation I always second guess my own attractiveness. Does a man usually talk with women about these things if he doesn't find them attractive?
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Post by hopingforachange on Nov 17, 2017 16:46:04 GMT -5
Interesting.... Perhaps this is a task assigned to him by his W.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2017 17:02:04 GMT -5
this is way over the line, especially for work. A dick pic? Lady you need to tell him that he is being inappropriate right now. This is in the work place....
Men will talk with a woman about sex anytime he can. This guy sound typical. At first they test the waters then go deeper and deeper. Unfortunately the woman has to stop it.
If you wanted to continue to talk to him, I suppose it would be fine was it not that this is happening in the work place.
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Post by wastedyears on Nov 17, 2017 17:07:21 GMT -5
Interesting.... Perhaps this is a task assigned to him by his W. Interesting, that never occurred to me. He did mention that she was looking for a cuckhold situation with another man. I wonder if he is looking for the same thing.
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 17, 2017 17:08:33 GMT -5
Yes, he is attracted to you. I can't get fully inside his head, but that much I am sure of.
I suspect most of us in sexless marriages underestimate our attractiveness, but, women in particular.
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 17, 2017 17:18:56 GMT -5
He is totally into the cuckhold fetish and probably into small penis humiliation. Honestly it's all about him. You are an outlet for his fetish. I would not be surprised if his wife does not have sex with other men while he watches. I understand wanting/ enjoying the attention but it's not a good idea in the work place.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 17, 2017 17:42:53 GMT -5
What he is done is called sexual harassment, way over the top sexual harassment. You need to tell him straight out that he is out of bounds and if he continues, you will let he know. I know you are hornet, but please don’t continue those discussions with him. You could lose your job and your reputation in your profession. Keep in mind he could be bragging to buddies about luring you in.
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Post by wastedyears on Nov 17, 2017 17:46:53 GMT -5
this is way over the line, especially for work. A dick pic? Lady you need to tell him that he is being inappropriate right now. This is in the work place.... Men will talk with a woman about sex anytime he can. This guy sound typical. At first they test the waters then go deeper and deeper. Unfortunately the woman has to stop it. If you wanted to continue to talk to him, I suppose it would be fine was it not that this is happening in the work place. Thank you. You are right, I need to stop this. It is becoming harder to avoid him every day.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 17, 2017 17:48:58 GMT -5
This guy sounds pretty strange. Quite a bit of kinkiness going on. Cross dressing, a penis cage, volunteering he is a submissive (I infer from this he is looking for a dominant) and pulling out a di*k pic. It's pretty obvious he is interested in you from a sexual standpoint. Men will introduce topics or snippets with a sexual connotation and gauge the reaction to see if there is a potential for more than just conversation. Starting small and working toward more explicit acts or undertones of a sexual nature is a typical behavior in a male. How things progress depends on how the other person reacts. Your reaction has been to act nonchalant which is a signal to him that you are at least somewhat receptive. His escalating from talking about women's undergarments to showing you a di*k pic is pretty much on you. You are after all allowing it whether you are attracted to him or not. In the near future you can expect an invitation to an after work cocktail or some other means(lunch date maybe) of getting you to an out of the way place where he can explore just how receptive you might be to a closer, more intimate friendship. Or perhaps he will feel you out for the role as his dominant. Unless you do or say something to stop him you can expect more overt sexual behavior from him.
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Post by jim44444 on Nov 17, 2017 17:53:32 GMT -5
. . . Last week he showed me an actual picture of his penis. I asked him why he was showing it to me, and he said that he was too small to please his wife. That has got to be the worst pick up line ever. This guy is way out of line and a total dumbass for doing this at work. Just look at the current headlines about celebrities and politicians involved in inappropriate sexual actions and harrasement. I can understand your attraction to the validation but at work avoid it like the plague.
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Post by wastedyears on Nov 17, 2017 17:54:23 GMT -5
What he is done bb is called sexual harassment, way over the top sexual harassment. You need to tell him straight out that he is out of bounds and if he continues, you will let he know. I know you are hornet, but please don’t continue those discussions with him. You could lose your job and your reputation in your profession. Keep in mind he could be bragging to buddies about luring you in. I am afraid of that as well. The last thing I need is the other people at work thinking that I am sleeping with him.
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Post by hopingforachange on Nov 17, 2017 18:06:25 GMT -5
What he is done bb is called sexual harassment, way over the top sexual harassment. You need to tell him straight out that he is out of bounds and if he continues, you will let he know. I know you are hornet, but please don’t continue those discussions with him. You could lose your job and your reputation in your profession. Keep in mind he could be bragging to buddies about luring you in. I am afraid of that as well. The last thing I need is the other people at work thinking that I am sleeping with him. Then you say, "Please, I wouldn't sleep with a shrimp....."
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Nov 17, 2017 18:12:19 GMT -5
He has already made the working realtionship uncomfortable. Try to find a way to let him know that the conversations are not welcome anymore and that you are asking him to stop.
I would keep notes for yourself of what was said on what dates by whom just in case things get wierd down the road.
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Post by northstarmom on Nov 17, 2017 18:31:46 GMT -5
An easy way to end it would be to go to h-r.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Nov 17, 2017 19:13:13 GMT -5
On the surface it sounds like reasonable advice, except that in my 20 years of corporate life, one thing I have learned is that HR is there to protect the company's interest not the employee's despite appearances. An easy way to end it would be to go to h-r.
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