|
|
Post by Caris on Nov 8, 2017 20:53:01 GMT -5
I went out tonight with a social group, and it was nice. Only felt a little tension once or twice when asked about my life, but overall, it was a good experience, and now I’ve made some new acquaintances. It was relaxed. I was fairly relaxed. I took an anti anxiety pill this afternoon, when I felt the tension build up, but it relaxed me.
It’s taken more than 2-years for me to do this. Get ready, walk out the door, and go, but tonight, I did it. Maybe my days of living as a hermit will become less. I’m taking things slowly, as I always do, but tonight I took the first step to meeting new people.
|
|
|
|
Post by h on Nov 8, 2017 20:55:46 GMT -5
That's awesome Caris ! I'm happy for you! It is a big step and I bet you will have more good times to look forward to. |
|
|
|
Post by hopingforachange on Nov 8, 2017 21:25:57 GMT -5
Congratulations!!! You too a step, and you will take another and another and you will get to being the you, you want to be.
|
|
|
|
Post by Caris on Nov 8, 2017 21:54:53 GMT -5
Thank you, h, and hopingforachange. I’ve had a really nice night tonight. After the social, I went out again because now I’d been out, I wanted to stay out, so took myself to the coffee/book store. Even that felt good because I’d had social interaction earlier, and that made me enjoy my alone time more. I feel good right now, better than I’ve felt in a long time. |
|
|
|
Post by baza on Nov 8, 2017 22:15:21 GMT -5
Some social interaction, some quiet reflective time.
The foundations are under construction.
Well done you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Caris on Nov 8, 2017 22:47:05 GMT -5
Thanks, baza. You said it, and that’s how it will work for me. Some social interaction followed by alone time. I like this, and I need both. |
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Nov 8, 2017 23:17:48 GMT -5
This is BIG. And I know it doesn’t change all things - and things don’t change overnight. But this is really big.
I’m happy for you, sister!
|
|
|
|
Post by TMD on Nov 9, 2017 0:32:32 GMT -5
Where is the love button?!
I’m glad it was a good experience for you. Here’s to more experiences, baby step style.
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Nov 9, 2017 7:52:39 GMT -5
You are step by step metamorphosizing. Baby steps at one’s own pace with rests between add up to big steps toward a more fulfilling life. Enjoy testing your wings, Butterfly.
I also relate. People here and on EP knew me after I had done the process you are going through. It took me years of baby steps to expand my life and get the foundation to leave my marriage. The things you are doing now — enjoying coffee shops alone, learning to trust and venture out with friends — are what I did over the last years of my marriage. I needed those to get the confidence to leave. Most people here leave and then rebuild their life. Either way is fine. However one does it, healing from the sm —developing a fulfilling life and building self confidence and trust in others — takes time and typically requires breaks to reflect.
|
|
|
|
Post by Caris on Nov 9, 2017 10:58:33 GMT -5
You are step by step metamorphosizing. Baby steps at one’s own pace with rests between add up to big steps toward a more fulfilling life. Enjoy testing your wings, Butterfly. I also relate. People here and on EP knew me after I had done the process you are going through. It took me years of baby steps to expand my life and get the foundation to leave my marriage. The things you are doing now — enjoying coffee shops alone, learning to trust and venture out with friends — are what I did over the last years of my marriage. I needed those to get the confidence to leave. Most people here leave and then rebuild their life. Either way is fine. However one does it, healing from the sm —developing a fulfilling life and building self confidence and trust in others — takes time and typically requires breaks to reflect. Baby steps with rests in between. Yes, that sounds like the way to do it for someone like me, who is a friendly introvert, and needs alone time to replenish the energy used in social interaction. Last night, before we all said our goodnights, I was thinking that I’d like to go somewhere else for dessert and coffee. I almost asked if anyone would like to join me, but then realized that I wanted to do that alone. I’d enjoyed some friendly conversations, but now wanted my “space” to do my own thing, and relax. It’s amazing how much I enjoyed being on my own after socializing for a couple of hours. This is what I need...a balance of socializing with others, and alone time. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2017 0:49:30 GMT -5
This is awesome Caris. Kudos to you for getting out there. Seeing others having a life once again, post SM, gives me hope. And hope is badly needed in my life right now. Thank you. |
|
|
|
Post by Caris on Nov 10, 2017 21:42:04 GMT -5
This is awesome Caris. Kudos to you for getting out there. Seeing others having a life once again, post SM, gives me hope. And hope is badly needed in my life right now. Thank you. Thank you, Elle. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, 2.5-years, and in that time, I had lost hope many times, and gave up many times. I lived a pretty reclusive life because I was depleted of vital energy. I’m just starting to spread my wings, and we’ll see what happens. What these years have taught me is we must go at our own pace. Trying to rush healing won’t work. We must allow nature to take her course, and unfold naturally. That’s what I have done. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m taking baby steps toward it with more optimism than I’ve had in years, so yes, there is hope for you...for anyone, even when it seems like that long dark night will never end. My best wishes are with you. Hugs. |
|
