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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 21, 2017 9:46:47 GMT -5
This pissed me off....
This is the 2nd or 3rd time this has happened to me in the 20-22 or so months I have been on POF. A woman initiates a conversation with me. I go to her profile to decipher as much as I can from what she has to say about herself, to see what she looks like, common interests or viewpoints and then I make the decision how to reply. In this case I decided I will go positive. So I reply and she replies back and it seems we may be headed for a coffee or some other form of meet. So I put together a couple thoughts on places where it might be nice to talk and spend some time getting to know each other to see if there is any chemistry. Only to find she has blocked me. WTH ?
I could understand it if I made 1st contact and she wasn't interested and then I made a pest of myself by trying to force the issue. But she contacted me and we emailed some positive stuff back and forth, and then she gives me "the chop". Ah well... maybe I saved some time that I otherwise might have wasted on this woman and the others. But damn if I understand it.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 21, 2017 10:10:45 GMT -5
I wouldnt take it personally. Its part of the game I would think. It doesnt excuse the behavior, but I suspect that some "ghosting" or blocking is to be expected especially if there is little downside to doing so. Now if you are getting blocked every single time, you may need to examine your approach. I didnt get the impression this happens all the time to you. Leave it be and on to the next one. Maybe they did you a favor.
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Post by DryCreek on Sept 21, 2017 10:13:00 GMT -5
worksforme2, one of many possibilities... she's married and neglected; feels undesirable but isn't committed to the idea of actually having an affair. She joined POF to test the waters, dropped her line in to see if anyone nibbles, and once you expressed interest she got all she was needing / ready to handle but doesn't want to follow-through or deal with unwinding it, so she just blocked you as the easiest course. But bottom-line, she did you a favor, regardless of why. For whatever reason she's not interested in proceeding and she pulled the plug instead of wasting your time or going unresponsive. If our refusers had been so forthright, most of us would not need this board. Or, as they used to say on EP... "Next!"
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Post by Caris on Sept 21, 2017 10:40:27 GMT -5
This pissed me off.... This is the 2nd or 3rd time this has happened to me in the 20-22 or so months I have been on POF. A woman initiates a conversation with me. I go to her profile to decipher as much as I can from what she has to say about herself, to see what she looks like, common interests or viewpoints and then I make the decision how to reply. In this case I decided I will go positive. So I reply and she replies back and it seems we may be headed for a coffee or some other form of meet. So I put together a couple thoughts on places where it might be nice to talk and spend some time getting to know each other to see if there is any chemistry. Only to find she has blocked me. WTH ? I could understand it if I made 1st contact and she wasn't interested and then I made a pest of myself by trying to force the issue. But she contacted me and we emailed some positive stuff back and forth, and then she gives me "the chop". Ah well... maybe I saved some time that I otherwise might have wasted on this woman and the others. But damn if I understand it. She (or could be a he) is possibly playing a game. Maybe some crazy, vindictive feminist. Then again, it could be something you said that may be a trigger for her. What may be innocuous to you, may mean something entirely different to her. If it's only happened three times in all those months, count yourself lucky. I've deleted most, and blocked several in only a couple of months. |
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 21, 2017 13:03:28 GMT -5
I'll go with she could be crazy and vindictive. No need to link feminist with those as feminists and non feminists can be nuts or vindictive.
How exactly did you ask her if she'd like to meet in person? If you mentioned chemistry directly, maybe she thought you were offering to meet and then jump right into bed.
When I was looking, I checked out POF and was not impressed at all by the type of people it attracted,
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Post by shamwow on Sept 21, 2017 14:01:46 GMT -5
Ok, I feel a bit retarded. What is POF?
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 21, 2017 14:06:56 GMT -5
I'll go with she could be crazy and vindictive. No need to link feminist with those as feminists and non feminists can be nuts or vindictive. How exactly did you ask her if she'd like to meet in person? If you mentioned chemistry directly, maybe she thought you were offering to meet and then jump right into bed. I never actually accomplished asking her to meet in person. In her profile she stated she didn't like to spend a lot of time emailing or texting. She would rather meet in person. I mentioned chemistry in the last email I was sending her about possibly meeting for coffee or at a local winery where we live that has live entertainment. She had mentioned chemistry in a prior email to me. But when I pushed send for this email I learned I had been blocked, so it didn't go through. I can be crude(assuming she would jump right into bed) if the situation calls for it, but I am never rude. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 21, 2017 14:08:04 GMT -5
Ok, I feel a bit retarded. What is POF? Plenty of Fish.....a dating site |
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Post by shamwow on Sept 21, 2017 14:28:02 GMT -5
Ok, I feel a bit retarded. What is POF? Plenty of Fish.....a dating site Gotcha! Thanks! |
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Post by Caris on Sept 21, 2017 16:50:51 GMT -5
northstarmom, Today's feminists are a different breed than yesteryear. They ARE man haters. That's not to say that some non feminists are not man haters, but I stand by my words. This is also my last word on the matter. I won't argue politics on this forum.
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Post by northstarmom on Sept 21, 2017 17:23:33 GMT -5
I love men and I'm a feminist. My ex and current lover and one of my sons are feminists. There are wackos who are adherents of any belief.
Back to the subject, I imagined that the women who blocked him were women who fantasize about sex and romance but are too timid or puritanical to act on their feelings. I imagined they are like some refusers....
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Post by baza on Sept 21, 2017 21:02:42 GMT -5
I think it was Sister bballgirl who posted a thread recently, taking a position that people who dump you - early - are actually doing you a big service. She made a very compelling arguement. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Sept 28, 2017 15:09:25 GMT -5
UPDATE.....This woman has now posted a picture and profile, whereas before she maintained she wanted to be discrete because she had a neighbor harassing her(no profile picture). In her updated profile she touts her backlog of over 130 messages. As she states how attractive she is I wonder if the men now treading water in her pond have the slightest clue what they might be in for? I'm pretty much over having been dismissed so casually, and I suppose I should be grateful that I escaped with relatively little of my time or treasure invested.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2017 12:39:53 GMT -5
UPDATE.....This woman has now posted a picture and profile, whereas before she maintained she wanted to be discrete because she had a neighbor harassing her(no profile picture). In her updated profile she touts her backlog of over 130 messages. As she states how attractive she is I wonder if the men now treading water in her pond have the slightest clue what they might be in for? I'm pretty much over having been dismissed so casually, and I suppose I should be grateful that I escaped with relatively little of my time or treasure invested. I know this will sound strange, but this could be a good thing. I read once that the more rejections you receive, the less they will affect you. You just go on to the next one. It is like a wrong number. You don't worry about it, you just try again with another number. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 2, 2017 15:24:07 GMT -5
I know this will sound strange, but this could be a good thing. I read once that the more rejections you receive, the less they will affect you. You just go on to the next one. It is like a wrong number. You don't worry about it, you just try again with another number. It isn't about rejection. I mean what guy has not been turned down for a date or had a girl/woman break up with him. That's just part of being a guy. What ticked me off was that she initiated a conversation with me, moved the ball forward in our next couple emails and then just out of nowhere she blocks me from further conversation. It's really not on my mind any more. At the time it just pi**ed me off because it was so rude and arrogant. |
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