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Post by Caris on Jul 24, 2017 18:27:43 GMT -5
After all these years of longing to be held, there is a man who wants to hold me in his arms. Problem is, we've been talking for about a month now, and I keep making excuses not to meet him. He's been very supportive of all that's been going on in my life, and he must have a lot of patience because he's still here, and still supportive.
The problem is on several levels. It's not just one thing. It's very complex, but it makes me realize just how screwed up I am with all these issues that now after decades of wanting to be in the arms of a man, I can't do it. I can't even meet him. However, maybe I will meet him just so I can get this rejection over with. I suppose I don't want to lose his friendship and emotional support. We get along well (on the phone), and he's a gentleman. I'm waiting for him to get tired of waiting for me, but it seems he's becoming more protective of me as time passes, especially with all this 💩 that's going on.
I'll have to deal with it soon. Maybe next week. I've got to deal with the other 💩 this week.
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Post by unmatched on Jul 24, 2017 18:37:25 GMT -5
After all these years of longing to be held, there is a man who wants to hold me in his arms. Problem is, we've been talking for about a month now, and I keep making excuses not to meet him. He's been very supportive of all that's been going on in my life, and he must have a lot of patience because he's still here, and still supportive. The problem is on several levels. It's not just one thing. It's very complex, but it makes me realize just how screwed up I am with all these issues that now after decades of wanting to be in the arms of a man, I can't do it. I can't even meet him. However, maybe I will meet him just so I can get this rejection over with. I suppose I don't want to lose his friendship and emotional support. We get along well (on the phone), and he's a gentleman. I'm waiting for him to get tired of waiting for me, but it seems he's becoming more protective of me as time passes, especially with all this 💩 that's going on. I'll have to deal with it soon. Maybe next week. I've got to deal with the other 💩 this week. I am proud of you Caris. It is a long, slow recovery process and you keep wanting to freak out and let the fear overwhelm you but slowly and steadily you keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forwards. And this guy clearly thinks you are worth waiting for  |
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Post by DryCreek on Jul 24, 2017 18:53:35 GMT -5
Caris, this is really encouraging news. I'm sure you'll make the right decision, but I'd encourage you to take a chance and meet him for coffee or lunch.
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Jul 24, 2017 18:53:51 GMT -5
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Post by Caris on Jul 24, 2017 18:53:51 GMT -5
After all these years of longing to be held, there is a man who wants to hold me in his arms. Problem is, we've been talking for about a month now, and I keep making excuses not to meet him. He's been very supportive of all that's been going on in my life, and he must have a lot of patience because he's still here, and still supportive. The problem is on several levels. It's not just one thing. It's very complex, but it makes me realize just how screwed up I am with all these issues that now after decades of wanting to be in the arms of a man, I can't do it. I can't even meet him. However, maybe I will meet him just so I can get this rejection over with. I suppose I don't want to lose his friendship and emotional support. We get along well (on the phone), and he's a gentleman. I'm waiting for him to get tired of waiting for me, but it seems he's becoming more protective of me as time passes, especially with all this 💩 that's going on. I'll have to deal with it soon. Maybe next week. I've got to deal with the other 💩 this week. I am proud of you Caris. It is a long, slow recovery process and you keep wanting to freak out and let the fear overwhelm you but slowly and steadily you keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving forwards. And this guy clearly thinks you are worth waiting for Thank you, unmatched. I know he won't want me when he sees me, so it's less painful to reject myself. |
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Post by baza on Jul 25, 2017 3:38:42 GMT -5
"He", of course Sister Caris , will be stunningly good looking, a brilliant conversationalist, urbane, charming and sophisticated. And, he will have no hang ups at all, no neurosis, no issues, plenty of money and a wide circle of friends. He'll be a great lover, but not carrying any baggage from his past, and will be just about the most balanced person you could ever meet. Witty and intelligent, empathetic and caring, a paragon of virtue and altogether an absolute stand out person. Pretty much faultless. His halo will illuminate everything around him. He will likely arrive in a Bently, or at least a Daimler, peeling $100 notes off to give to the poor, and dashing forth to help old ladies across the street. Dogs and kids will instantly like him as the quintessential wonderful fellow, and the barista and table staff will be overpowered by his courteous and respectful manners. Caris , you just HAVE to see this bloke. Not with any idea of him being "the one" but rather to marvel at the sight of such a perfect specimen. This is an opportunity to see one of natures wonders, like the grand canyon or something. AND, you get coffee !!!  Take the pressure off Sister. Go along and see what sort of a bloke he is. Just for interest sake. |
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Post by shamwow on Jul 25, 2017 6:37:28 GMT -5
Sister Caris, The hardest demons to kill in our lives are the ones we feed, nurture, and love. If you convince yourself that he couldn't possibly want you then you will be right. But not because of what he actually thinks, but because you have created a self fulfilling prophesy. I agree with baza. Don't set this up to be the end all-be all. It is a date. You may click. You may not. There are so many hundreds of ingredients in that recipe than just you. So take a chance. If it works out, awesome. You've found someone of the opposite sex who enjoys your company and vice versa. If not? Then you figured it out early without going through years of unnecessary pain like we did in our marriages. That is also a victory in the healing process. But first, you need to stop feeding that damn demon. Given enough time, without your care and feeding it will wither and starve on its own. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Jul 25, 2017 6:49:37 GMT -5
Go see him, he might not be the "one", but he sounds like an amazing friend and someone to enjoy a face to face conversation with and good hug.
He sounds like someone that understands your inner turmoil and will be happy with just talk and a hug.
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Post by WindSister on Jul 25, 2017 6:58:35 GMT -5
Sister Caris, The hardest demons to kill in our lives are the ones we feed, nurture, and love. If you convince yourself that he couldn't possibly want you then you will be right. But not because of what he actually thinks, but because you have created a self fulfilling prophesy. Yes to what Shamwow said! I have witnessed it too many times in others and myself to know it's true. In many ways, some with tragic outcomes. There's something to it. We all felt the same fears you are expressing here, though. Believe that! I remember the first time meeting a man I clicked with so awesomely online, phone and text. I was sure once he saw me in person he'd change his mind. Well, he didn't but that's not the point. Some other men I met after him did decide they didn't like me in person. It does happen but it's not a reflection on you. Be beautiful you. If this guy doesn't jive with you in a romantic way in person (or vice versa) you can enjoy coffee and conversation and possibly a great friendship (that could develop into more, I recall you would like to take things slow and natural) You can do this! Smile. Let yourself shine! We are backing you up. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jul 25, 2017 7:38:55 GMT -5
Caris, since he is a gentleman I suggest not to have sex on your first date. That's all I have. 😀
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Post by Caris on Jul 26, 2017 16:54:04 GMT -5
Caris, since he is a gentleman I suggest not to have sex on your first date. That's all I have. 😀 I think me having sex with anyone, at any time, would be a bloody miracle. |
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Post by lwoetin on Jul 27, 2017 5:55:50 GMT -5
Caris, since he is a gentleman I suggest not to have sex on your first date. That's all I have. 😀 I think me having sex with anyone, at any time, would be a bloody miracle. sex is like a bone and men are like dogs. You just need to offer it.🐕 |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2017 13:50:10 GMT -5
Caris, PM me if you want to talk. I've been doing the dating for about a year now. Starting out is ALWAYS scary and weird; but I promise, with practice, you do get over that feeling. If it's obvious from the first meet that the man and I are not that attracted to each other - that's easy. It's harder if the man is likeable and we like each other, but the chemistry just isn't right.
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Jul 27, 2017 14:07:52 GMT -5
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Post by Caris on Jul 27, 2017 14:07:52 GMT -5
Caris, PM me if you want to talk. I've been doing the dating for about a year now. Starting out is ALWAYS scary and weird; but I promise, with practice, you do get over that feeling. If it's obvious from the first meet that the man and I are not that attracted to each other - that's easy. It's harder if the man is likeable and we like each other, but the chemistry just isn't right. I've just ditched him, Kat. I can't stand anyone telling me how I should feel about something. It started to feel like lectures. My whole life others have dictated to me, well no more. My life is mine. I live my way, and feel what I feel. I'm glad I got to know him before I met him. It's amazing how much you can learn about someone during a crisis. |
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Jul 27, 2017 14:33:42 GMT -5
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Caris likes this
Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2017 14:33:42 GMT -5
Well, then, it is a matter of what feels right for you.
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Jul 27, 2017 14:52:20 GMT -5
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Post by Caris on Jul 27, 2017 14:52:20 GMT -5
I think me having sex with anyone, at any time, would be a bloody miracle. sex is like a bone and men are like dogs. You just need to offer it.🐕 I think the women here can attest to that not being true, or we wouldn't be here. |
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