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Post by McRoomMate on Mar 16, 2017 1:32:54 GMT -5
17 Signs Your Relationship Is Over. - - - as above - - - 4 Signs you might be prepared to do something about it. #1 - you have consulted a lawyer in your jurisdiction to establish how a divorce would shake out for you #2 - you have worked out a rudimentary exit strategy and are knocking it into do-able shape. #3 - you are shoring up your support network #4 - you are finding out everything you can about helping kids (if any) transition through such an event. In short, you are creating an alternative to staying in your ILIASM shithole. Will you action your plan ? That is entirely your call, but you sure as shit will NOT be actioning a non existent alternative. 1 = yes 2 = Oh hell yes 3 = yes 4 = not "everything I can" but starting to. So 3 out 4 and soon 4/4. Thanks! |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Mar 16, 2017 8:03:59 GMT -5
Well, the love seemingly isn't lost. But i'm not sure that i know what that even means anymore.
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Post by Apocrypha on Mar 21, 2017 8:39:38 GMT -5
1. TALK OF THE FUTURE FADES AWAY. At first, all you can talk about is your future together. You talk about your wedding, where you’ll live, what you’ll name your kids and how you’ll spend retirement together. How often has the future come up lately? Do you find yourself avoiding the topic? It’s a clear indicator your heart isn’t in it anymore. I recall this one on my honeymoon. We were discussing our life plans together, and she seemed oddly distraught, anxious. When we got to the number of kids, something we'd discussed many times previously, suddenly she switched directions on me, expressing trepidation about any kids at all. "I just saw my mother raising kids alone and I don't want that to happen to me," she said. I asked her why she assumed she'd be alone, and she snapped her head toward me as if waking from a dream. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Mar 21, 2017 9:01:41 GMT -5
Well, shit. Batted 1.000 there.
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Post by McRoomMate on Mar 21, 2017 10:42:26 GMT -5
1. TALK OF THE FUTURE FADES AWAY. At first, all you can talk about is your future together. You talk about your wedding, where you’ll live, what you’ll name your kids and how you’ll spend retirement together. How often has the future come up lately? Do you find yourself avoiding the topic? It’s a clear indicator your heart isn’t in it anymore. I recall this one on my honeymoon. We were discussing our life plans together, and she seemed oddly distraught, anxious. When we got to the number of kids, something we'd discussed many times previously, suddenly she switched directions on me, expressing trepidation about any kids at all. "I just saw my mother raising kids alone and I don't want that to happen to me," she said. I asked her why she assumed she'd be alone, and she snapped her head toward me as if waking from a dream. Heavy post there. Very eerie - Hmm. |
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Post by Dan on Apr 4, 2017 8:29:38 GMT -5
Came here thinking "it's all good but for the lack of sex". In reading, started wondering if I'm kidding myself. But...scored a whopping 3 out of 17 on this list. Maybe I was right? MAYBE. The arc of my story: - Married. Two years of decent sex. - Then: first kid, leading to two decades of decreasing sex, her excuses, me why-chasing, and trying every bacon scented candle in the box. - Then: onset of sexlessness (definition: marital sex < 10 times per year) ~7 years ago. - Then: past 18 months: zero sex. Even during the two decades of decreasing sex, I probably still would have been at 5 or less. Was the marriage savable then? I thought so. In retrospect -- not sure. I've come to realize her low-libido is NOT situational; it is baked-in. In retrospect -- it was my HOPE that things would get better that had me sticking with it, still trying, still loving her. Now I'm probably about at 13, but like lyn , some of that is because of my personality, as in "I don't nitpick"; few "nos" are not that the marriage is well-off, but that I chose not to be that way. (I also just score low -- where "low" equals "bad" -- on the linked quiz " Is Your Relationship Truly Intimate?".) So, PrnsessMe ... MAYBE there is hope for you. What can you do next to see if "love is alive"? What can you do to SHORTEN the time it takes you to figure out if you and your H can develop a mutually happy, healthy sexlife.... or determine that it is not possible? The biggest regret of those who leave SMs seems to be "now that I realize it was NEVER going to work out, I wish I had figured that out 10 years earlier." Godspeed, my friend. |
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