Two Reasons to Raise Our Pints!

beachguy Senior Members SM escapee Posts: 1,312 Age Range: 61-65	Two Reasons to Raise Our Pints! Dec 31, 2016 23:30:55 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by beachguy on Dec 31, 2016 23:30:55 GMT -5 More than you think

shamwow Senior Members Forum Benefactor Posts: 3,597 Age Range: 46-50	Two Reasons to Raise Our Pints! Dec 31, 2016 23:31:27 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by shamwow on Dec 31, 2016 23:31:27 GMT -5 Dec 31, 2016 23:30:08 GMT -5 beachguy said: More than you think You a bean counter?
	Sham's Law #1: Everything in life is simple. First you figure out what you want. Second, you figure out how to get it. Third you do it. The first step, unfortunately happens to be the hardest.

beachguy Senior Members SM escapee Posts: 1,312 Age Range: 61-65	Two Reasons to Raise Our Pints! Dec 31, 2016 23:33:03 GMT -5 via Tapatalk GeekGoddess and DryCreek like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by beachguy on Dec 31, 2016 23:33:03 GMT -5 Used to be an accountant but I'm better now. Software developer and small business owner

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The secret to being happy is having a great sense of humor and a dirty mind. I'm qualified!

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Two Reasons to Raise Our Pints! Jan 1, 2017 23:05:32 GMT -5 via Tapatalk eternaloptimism, beachguy, and 2 more like this

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Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 1, 2017 23:05:32 GMT -5

Dec 31, 2016 22:24:53 GMT -5 beachguy said:

Dec 31, 2016 22:21:07 GMT -5 baza said:

Broadly, every 5 years you've been in an ILIASM shithole will - once you're out of it - take 1 year of recovery.

A lot of recovery is made early on, in the first year out, other stuff takes longer, and there will be residual shit that you'll carry for years.

As of today, I've been out 7.3 years.
Some 'old shit' can still bite me on the arse even now.
But it is manageable.

I'm too old and was in too long for your formula

I think it varies but the idea for me was to first stop the continuing damage by getting out. In my journey, the dip down right after moving out was BIG. I had no coping skills besides drinking it down. But that led me, quickly, to my "bottom" & got me into recovery.
I've used a therapist & 2 different 12-step programs, quit my job & started school. A lions share of healing has taken place over the first year of my sobriety.
I'm still not truly ready for a healthy relationship quite yet but I'm ready to dip my toes if I happen past an inviting pool. But I know I'll still need a lot more therapy to help truly develop the right relationship skills I need if I expect to sustain a new deal.
It will be an I'm going growth exercise for many years to come, for me.

mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

mirrororchid: Heard on a podcast: "Dating is where we present our best selves. Vulnerability is the opposite. Where we risk our partner knowing things that are imperfect. This is the way to forge the life partner bond." Sept 10, 2024 19:17:03 GMT -5

week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5

ILIASM Forum

Two Reasons to Raise Our Pints!

Post by beachguy on Dec 31, 2016 23:30:55 GMT -5

Post by shamwow on Dec 31, 2016 23:31:27 GMT -5

Post by beachguy on Dec 31, 2016 23:33:03 GMT -5

Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 1, 2017 23:05:32 GMT -5

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