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Post by Rhapsodee on Nov 18, 2016 13:07:53 GMT -5
My hubalways does the mushy anniversary card thing. He makes the card with all the right words, and of course the photo of a red rose. He always closes with "I'm so glad we are on this journey together". Right. Journey to old age full of bitterness.
He can write all the crap he wants but it doesn't change the fact that he rejects me. I don't believe any of it anymore. I don't do a card. We don't buy gifts. We haven't in years. We do have dinner and dessert out somewhere. I get dressed up in a dress and he wears a coat and tie. He knows I'm a sucker for a man in a suit. We make small talk or he spends the entire time talking about his work. While I do find his work interesting and understand what he does, it shouldn't be the conversation of an anniversary. Why don't I bring up romance or make suggestive sexual comments like I did when we were newly married? He really enjoys the sexual banter and when we get on a roll it is really fun. But it never leads to anything. I get my little kiss and we go to sleep. Bitterness brings tears to my eyes.
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 18, 2016 13:16:37 GMT -5
I understand and actions speak louder than words.
Anniversaries are bittersweet. Hugs.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2016 13:20:34 GMT -5
But you still play the game with him, the dress up for the meal out, the sexy banter. So that's you telling him "Everything is OK here in status quo land"
The bigger question to everyone is, Can you scream and shout about your relationship if you don't do anything to change your situation or at least move towards finding something that makes you happy?
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 18, 2016 13:24:08 GMT -5
Having an issue where her wants to create an anniversaries tonight.
He asked me when we are going to get married.
Ha
Ha
fucking ha!
I told him I don't believe in it anymore and left it there.
Much more more was in the tip of my tongue but seeing my mum mates tonight to discuss tactics over a large amount of wine. It can wait!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2016 13:32:38 GMT -5
Having an issue where her wants to create an anniversaries tonight. He asked me when we are going to get married. Ha Ha fucking ha! I told him I don't believe in it anymore and left it there. Much more more was in the tip of my tongue but seeing my mum mates tonight to discuss tactics over a large amount of wine. It can wait!  |
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Post by JonDoe on Nov 18, 2016 18:42:31 GMT -5
My hubalways does the mushy anniversary card thing. He makes the card with all the right words, and of course the photo of a red rose. He always closes with "I'm so glad we are on this journey together". Right. Journey to old age full of bitterness. He can write all the crap he wants but it doesn't change the fact that he rejects me. I don't believe any of it anymore. I don't do a card. We don't buy gifts. We haven't in years. We do have dinner and dessert out somewhere. I get dressed up in a dress and he wears a coat and tie. He knows I'm a sucker for a man in a suit. We make small talk or he spends the entire time talking about his work. While I do find his work interesting and understand what he does, it shouldn't be the conversation of an anniversary. Why don't I bring up romance or make suggestive sexual comments like I did when we were newly married? He really enjoys the sexual banter and when we get on a roll it is really fun. But it never leads to anything. I get my little kiss and we go to sleep. Bitterness brings tears to my eyes. How does he react / respond when you initiate? |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2016 18:51:48 GMT -5
Having an issue where her wants to create an anniversaries tonight. He asked me when we are going to get married. Ha Ha fucking ha! I told him I don't believe in it anymore and left it there. Much more more was in the tip of my tongue but seeing my mum mates tonight to discuss tactics over a large amount of wine. It can wait!  Cheers E |
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Post by baza on Nov 18, 2016 20:33:43 GMT -5
Sister Rhapsodee.
"If" in a years time, or 3 years time, your ILIASM deal has crashed - and your spouse was saying to someone - "I dunno where that came from. As far as I knew everything was good" - would he have a case ?
That is to say, does he know of your escalating bitterness ?
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Post by RexCorvus on Nov 18, 2016 21:25:08 GMT -5
"Your face saving promises whispered like prayers, I don't need them"
... "they say that promises sweeten the blow, I don't need then, No I don't need them."
Nov 11th was my 21st wedding anniversary. I was away on a business trip that week. I met the most gorgeous, amazing, caring, sexy woman I have ever met. We had an instant soul encompassing connection. We had the most magical night and made love for hours.
I flew home and had to buy a card before going to the house, because like you that is what we do. I couldn't read the words without images of this amazing woman I spent the night with flooding my thoughts. I finally just picked the card that had giraffes on it because my wife likes giraffes.
I'm done having "The Talk". The next time I do it will be calm and straight to the point that I want a divorce. I experienced something so spiritual with this gorgeous woman that I didn't expect or even know was possible. I will be moving forward and bettering myself and putting the pieces in place for my exit plan. There is no going back after what I experienced.
“The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible.”
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Post by ggold on Nov 18, 2016 23:29:32 GMT -5
Having an issue where her wants to create an anniversaries tonight. He asked me when we are going to get married. Ha Ha fucking ha! I told him I don't believe in it anymore and left it there. Much more more was in the tip of my tongue but seeing my mum mates tonight to discuss tactics over a large amount of wine. It can wait! I love your accent. Although your situation sucks, I think you are so cute. !! Xo |
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Post by ggold on Nov 18, 2016 23:44:27 GMT -5
My hubalways does the mushy anniversary card thing. He makes the card with all the right words, and of course the photo of a red rose. He always closes with "I'm so glad we are on this journey together". Right. Journey to old age full of bitterness. He can write all the crap he wants but it doesn't change the fact that he rejects me. I don't believe any of it anymore. I don't do a card. We don't buy gifts. We haven't in years. We do have dinner and dessert out somewhere. I get dressed up in a dress and he wears a coat and tie. He knows I'm a sucker for a man in a suit. We make small talk or he spends the entire time talking about his work. While I do find his work interesting and understand what he does, it shouldn't be the conversation of an anniversary. Why don't I bring up romance or make suggestive sexual comments like I did when we were newly married? He really enjoys the sexual banter and when we get on a roll it is really fun. But it never leads to anything. I get my little kiss and we go to sleep. Bitterness brings tears to my eyes. Anniversaries suck. They just do. ((Hugs)). |
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Post by unmatched on Nov 19, 2016 8:12:58 GMT -5
Having an issue where her wants to create an anniversaries tonight. He asked me when we are going to get married. Ha Ha fucking ha! I told him I don't believe in it anymore and left it there. Much more more was in the tip of my tongue but seeing my mum mates tonight to discuss tactics over a large amount of wine. It can wait! Good girl - tactics are much more important than scoring points! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Nov 19, 2016 10:10:14 GMT -5
Having an issue where her wants to create an anniversaries tonight. He asked me when we are going to get married. Ha Ha fucking ha! I told him I don't believe in it anymore and left it there. Much more more was in the tip of my tongue but seeing my mum mates tonight to discuss tactics over a large amount of wine. It can wait! Good girl - tactics are much more important than scoring points! You're right. I'm not interested in being a malicious biatch. I just have to dump him truthfully. |
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Post by unmatched on Nov 19, 2016 18:48:52 GMT -5
Good girl - tactics are much more important than scoring points! You're right. I'm not interested in being a malicious biatch. I just have to dump him truthfully. How did the meeting go? |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2016 21:32:25 GMT -5
Sadly, my anniversary just went by 3 weeks ago. I know no one will remember, but our SM had dwindled down to so little that 4 years ago I negotiated an agreement for twice a year, on my birthday and on our anniversary. Rhapsodee I am like your husband, I get cards with no writing, just a cute picture and every year I wrote a mushy, romantic, note to my wife. She always gave me a humorous card back, usually just signed with her name. Last year I broke from my tradition and got her a card from the humorous section like she always gives me. This year I did the same thing with the humorous card, while she got me a mushy romantic card? Interesting, but now let me describe our anniversary. The anniversary date was pretty much standard. I got a sitter, took her to a nice restaurant ($120), got her a gift card ($100 so she could get what she wants), usually also I get her a big gift, and this year I agreed to sacrifice my ‘man-space’, a bedroom converted to a retreat that is attached to our master bedroom. All my stuff, TV, exercise equipment, desk, everything is mine. I even painted the room a dark cobalt blue so everyone would know it is mine. I sleep downstairs now on the couch or spare bedroom so I don’t really use my retreat anyway. I am going to make the downstairs room mine when I move my stuff out of the retreat. BTW, no gift in return. And when we got home she went upstairs and put on nighttime clothes; old flannel pajamas with an old flannel bathrobe. Maybe she does not remember our deal? But it is now 4 years and counting |
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