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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 4, 2016 14:02:59 GMT -5
Hmmm, I'll have to remember that if I ever try an online thing again: "references available upon request." Seriously online dating is like the Wild West and there is a lot of dishonesty out there. People putting up the wrong picture, not giving correct names, married, etc. A bunch of scammers that just want to get laid or get a free meal or find a sugar daddy. You have to be one step ahead and smart. I worked in a coffee shop in college. We could always tell what site people had met on within 5 minutes. The POF folks were always the ones where you heard, "yeah, that was an old picture." |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 4, 2016 14:09:33 GMT -5
Seriously online dating is like the Wild West and there is a lot of dishonesty out there. People putting up the wrong picture, not giving correct names, married, etc. A bunch of scammers that just want to get laid or get a free meal or find a sugar daddy. You have to be one step ahead and smart. I worked in a coffee shop in college. We could always tell what site people had met on within 5 minutes. The POF folks were always the ones where you heard, "yeah, that was an old picture." Yep I'm on POF and went out with a man with an old picture. We spoke on the phone a lot and the personality was good but I had zero attraction for him. I tried to not be shallow and give it another try but I had to tell him I wasn't feeling it and we could be friends. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 4, 2016 14:13:01 GMT -5
I worked in a coffee shop in college. We could always tell what site people had met on within 5 minutes. The POF folks were always the ones where you heard, "yeah, that was an old picture." Yep I'm on POF and went out with a man with an old picture. We spoke on the phone a lot and the personality was good but I had zero attraction for him. I tried to not be shallow and give it another try but I had to tell him I wasn't feeling it and we could be friends. That doesn't make you shallow, it makes you realistic.  |
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Post by unmatched on Oct 4, 2016 20:21:20 GMT -5
Seriously online dating is like the Wild West and there is a lot of dishonesty out there. People putting up the wrong picture, not giving correct names, married, etc. A bunch of scammers that just want to get laid or get a free meal or find a sugar daddy. You have to be one step ahead and smart. I worked in a coffee shop in college. We could always tell what site people had met on within 5 minutes. The POF folks were always the ones where you heard, "yeah, that was an old picture." So which sites looked good from your point of view? |
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Post by cagedtiger on Oct 5, 2016 6:43:35 GMT -5
I worked in a coffee shop in college. We could always tell what site people had met on within 5 minutes. The POF folks were always the ones where you heard, "yeah, that was an old picture." So which sites looked good from your point of view? Well, I was an Alpha tester for OKCupid, back when it was just starting out as SparkMatch, before they spun it off into its own separate company. That one was the best, before Match bought the site, started dismantling it to monetize it, and quit actually using the massive amount of data collected for real, actual insightful analysis. One thing I did notice was you'd always see the same core groups of people who were obviously on there very, very long term; there were three or four girls and maybe seven or eight guys who were always bringing in first dates over and over again; best we could tell one of the guys was on POF, a couple of the guys were on OKC, and the rest were on either Match or eHarmony- we could tell the latter two by the average ages and palpable level of desperation during each date. I also had four neighbors years ago who had some success on Christian Mingle- there was a bet involved in that one though. |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 5, 2016 6:47:43 GMT -5
Yep I'm on POF and went out with a man with an old picture. We spoke on the phone a lot and the personality was good but I had zero attraction for him. I tried to not be shallow and give it another try but I had to tell him I wasn't feeling it and we could be friends. That doesn't make you shallow, it makes you realistic. Not being "shallow" would guarantee you another sexless relationship. "Everything is great except I don't have any interest in sex with {him/her}" Sound familiar?  |
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Post by Dan on Oct 5, 2016 7:45:09 GMT -5
When you get to that point, let me know if you need a wingman. A) I'd be happy to help out a friend. B) As comfortable as I generally feel in the social situation you describe, I have a hunch I could learn a few things from you by observing your talents! I'll take you up on that. We'll have a series of "out of the cage" parties. One here, one in San Diego, and one maybe in Europe? That. Sounds. AWESOME. |
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Post by becca on Oct 5, 2016 10:43:17 GMT -5
Hmmm, I'll have to remember that if I ever try an online thing again: "references available upon request." Seriously online dating is like the Wild West and there is a lot of dishonesty out there. People putting up the wrong picture, not giving correct names, married, etc. A bunch of scammers that just want to get laid or get a free meal or find a sugar daddy. You have to be one step ahead and smart. And what is the point of lying if you plan to eventually meet someone?! A couple of weeks back I was with a girlfriend and she was meeting someone from online at the bar where we were. She showed me his pics. Nice looking guy. Then this man walks in looking for her that didn't even resemble the picture. It wasn't an old photo. It just flat out wasn't him at all. Who does that?! Just be yourself, warts and all or what is the point. |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 5, 2016 11:09:18 GMT -5
Seriously online dating is like the Wild West and there is a lot of dishonesty out there. People putting up the wrong picture, not giving correct names, married, etc. A bunch of scammers that just want to get laid or get a free meal or find a sugar daddy. You have to be one step ahead and smart. And what is the point of lying if you plan to eventually meet someone?! A couple of weeks back I was with a girlfriend and she was meeting someone from online at the bar where we were. She showed me his pics. Nice looking guy. Then this man walks in looking for her that didn't even resemble the picture. It wasn't an old photo. It just flat out wasn't him at all. Who does that?! Just be yourself, warts and all or what is the point. Exactly people are crazy and desperate. A lot of married people on these dating sites. |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 5, 2016 14:47:54 GMT -5
And what is the point of lying if you plan to eventually meet someone?! A couple of weeks back I was with a girlfriend and she was meeting someone from online at the bar where we were. She showed me his pics. Nice looking guy. Then this man walks in looking for her that didn't even resemble the picture. It wasn't an old photo. It just flat out wasn't him at all. Who does that?! Just be yourself, warts and all or what is the point. Exactly people are crazy and desperate. A lot of married people on these dating sites. Here is, perhaps, a rare and interesting insight into the mind of a dating site impersonator . Told to me by a friend of a friend, I think. But it was told to me as an absolutely true story. A guy walks into a restaurant to meet his online dating site date. He can't find her but some (not very attractive, in his eyes) unknown chick is jumping up and down in her chair and waving frantically. She explains that she used her BFF's pic in her dating site profile because she wasn't having any luck with her own pics. And she further explains that "I figured if you got to know me I would have a better chance" or something along those lines. Being a decent kind of guy he actually hung around and talked to her for an hour or two before getting the Hell Out Of Dodge  |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 5, 2016 15:35:08 GMT -5
Exactly people are crazy and desperate. A lot of married people on these dating sites. Here is, perhaps, a rare and interesting insight into the mind of a dating site impersonator . Told to me by a friend of a friend, I think. But it was told to me as an absolutely true story. A guy walks into a restaurant to meet his online dating site date. He can't find her but some (not very attractive, in his eyes) unknown chick is jumping up and down in her chair and waving frantically. She explains that she used her BFF's pic in her dating site profile because she wasn't having any luck with her own pics. And she further explains that "I figured if you got to know me I would have a better chance" or something along those lines. Being a decent kind of guy he actually hung around and talked to her for an hour or two before getting the Hell Out Of Dodge I've heard of similar stories. In fact a man I went out with last week told me a very similar story. He met a women at a Starbucks, went in looked around, didn't see her so he texted her and said "I'm here". She texted back "I am too". He said she looked nothing like her profile pic and he talked to her but that was it. This same man lied to me about his marital status (divorced) and his last name. He was going to come to my place for a second meeting and I asked him for his last name XY1. I googled it, FB - came up with nothing. Well later he sent me an email and his real name showed up. Googled that, FB - Bingo! He's caught in a lie. We planned to have sex he was bringing a condom. So my bullshit alert went up and I called him out. I wrote, "Your email says your name is XY2. Why is that?". He gave a bullshit excuse. I responded with, "Take a picture of your license and text me the photo. If your name is XY1 then you need to prepare yourself to have the best sex of your life. If it's XY2 then you can go fuck yourself". He told me - Ok let's not then. I said- no problem. Ten minutes later he texted me again - Apologized, said he's just in a weird situation but he's not a bad guy and he'd like to explain it to me. I was so curious I needed to know. I'm such a curious person. Turns out he's in a SM with complications. We spoke and I told him I can be a friend to him but he needs to work his life out for his future. There's a lot of people with a lot of baggage out there and just not honest about themselves. |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 5, 2016 15:50:50 GMT -5
Here is, perhaps, a rare and interesting insight into the mind of a dating site impersonator . Told to me by a friend of a friend, I think. But it was told to me as an absolutely true story. A guy walks into a restaurant to meet his online dating site date. He can't find her but some (not very attractive, in his eyes) unknown chick is jumping up and down in her chair and waving frantically. She explains that she used her BFF's pic in her dating site profile because she wasn't having any luck with her own pics. And she further explains that "I figured if you got to know me I would have a better chance" or something along those lines. Being a decent kind of guy he actually hung around and talked to her for an hour or two before getting the Hell Out Of Dodge I've heard of similar stories. In fact a man I went out with last week told me a very similar story. He met a women at a Starbucks, went in looked around, didn't see her so he texted her and said "I'm here". She texted back "I am too". He said she looked nothing like her profile pic and he talked to her but that was it. This same man lied to me about his marital status (divorced) and his last name. He was going to come to my place for a second meeting and I asked him for his last name XY1. I googled it, FB - came up with nothing. Well later he sent me an email and his real name showed up. Googled that, FB - Bingo! He's caught in a lie. We planned to have sex he was bringing a condom. So my bullshit alert went up and I called him out. I wrote, "Your email says your name is XY2. Why is that?". He gave a bullshit excuse. I responded with, "Take a picture of your license and text me the photo. If your name is XY1 then you need to prepare yourself to have the best sex of your life. If it's XY2 then you can go fuck yourself". He told me - Ok let's not then. I said- no problem. Ten minutes later he texted me again - Apologized, said he's just in a weird situation but he's not a bad guy and he'd like to explain it to me. I was so curious I needed to know. I'm such a curious person. Turns out he's in a SM with complications. We spoke and I told him I can be a friend to him but he needs to work his life out for his future. There's a lot of people with a lot of baggage out there and just not honest about themselves. Wow. Just wow. Not just an impersonator epidemic, it's a culture now? |
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 5, 2016 16:04:54 GMT -5
I've heard of similar stories. In fact a man I went out with last week told me a very similar story. He met a women at a Starbucks, went in looked around, didn't see her so he texted her and said "I'm here". She texted back "I am too". He said she looked nothing like her profile pic and he talked to her but that was it. This same man lied to me about his marital status (divorced) and his last name. He was going to come to my place for a second meeting and I asked him for his last name XY1. I googled it, FB - came up with nothing. Well later he sent me an email and his real name showed up. Googled that, FB - Bingo! He's caught in a lie. We planned to have sex he was bringing a condom. So my bullshit alert went up and I called him out. I wrote, "Your email says your name is XY2. Why is that?". He gave a bullshit excuse. I responded with, "Take a picture of your license and text me the photo. If your name is XY1 then you need to prepare yourself to have the best sex of your life. If it's XY2 then you can go fuck yourself". He told me - Ok let's not then. I said- no problem. Ten minutes later he texted me again - Apologized, said he's just in a weird situation but he's not a bad guy and he'd like to explain it to me. I was so curious I needed to know. I'm such a curious person. Turns out he's in a SM with complications. We spoke and I told him I can be a friend to him but he needs to work his life out for his future. There's a lot of people with a lot of baggage out there and just not honest about themselves. Wow. Just wow. Not just an impersonator epidemic, it's a culture now? Yep and they ask me questions like When was the last time you had sex?" And I lie because I can't say yesterday! (My AP) So I adapt the truth to sex with someone other than him. As far as my appearance - I'm very upfront about being overweight, my pics are current and I don't want to waste anyone's time especially mine. As well my preference for a first meet is just a cup of coffee, about an hour. Everyone's hiding something. |
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Post by baza on Oct 5, 2016 21:44:17 GMT -5
Highly inexpert opinion follows.
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Surely, one of the big attractions in internet dating is the very fact that one can spin a line of bullshit if one chooses.
Particularly if ones actual aim is to conduct an internet affair rather than an actual one.
I mean, what sort of pea-brain would put up a completely bogus photo if they had any intent of a real life meet up ?
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There'd be any amount of old blokes living in mums basement who are just after some titillation, but putting up a profile saying -
"Old bloke, living in mums basement seeks smutty exchanges with chick, preferably including nude photo's so I can pull myself off over them"
- is not likely to attract a real lot of takers.
Addendum
And on the other side, perhaps plenty of chicks who's aim is to chisel a few bucks out of people under false pretences too. But a post there saying -
"Chick desires to relieve you of money with a variety of bullshit stories plus a vague hint about a possible root down the track" -
- is probably not going to play too well either.
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Post by worksforme2 on Oct 9, 2016 17:44:51 GMT -5
And what is the point of lying if you plan to eventually meet someone?! A couple of weeks back I was with a girlfriend and she was meeting someone from online at the bar where we were. She showed me his pics. Nice looking guy. Then this man walks in looking for her that didn't even resemble the picture. It wasn't an old photo. It just flat out wasn't him at all. Who does that?! Just be yourself, warts and all or what is the point. Who does that? Apparently a very significant # of people. That was my experience at POF. I met a # of women in my age appropriate dating range (7 or 8) and all but 1 clearly were using very dated photos. 2 of the women I didn't recognize at all. In addition I emailed back and forth with a couple of women but could not get them to meet and ended the conversations. Later they posted different and more current pics. There must have been at least 15-20yrs. and probably 30 or 40 lbs. difference. Meeting a woman who used an old pic was a deal breaker for me. Even if she was an older version of her pic I kept the meeting polite but short. If her profile pic was a lie what else would she lie about? |
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