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Post by nyctos on Feb 20, 2019 11:43:16 GMT -5
Question for today- When you get angry, how do you react? Usually stewing to myself, though occasionally I'll yell.
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Post by isthisit on Feb 20, 2019 11:49:34 GMT -5
Question for today- When you get angry, how do you react? I’m fairly laid back generally, so getting angry is the exception, but when I do I go quiet, and get strategic and then you really have to worry.
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Post by Handy on Feb 20, 2019 19:22:35 GMT -5
When you get angry, how do you react?
I used to take way too much crap, try to keep a lid on it but sometimes there was too much internal pressure and I would walk off, tell the person off, or think about hitting some object (never a person or animal).
Now I point out what sounds like BS to me and I consider the source. It is still very frustrating but no more pent up dramatic reactions. Just considering the situation crazy or unfair and I go do something that has a benefit for me.
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Post by sadkat on Feb 20, 2019 21:32:39 GMT -5
I tend to let things build up and then one tiny thing will set me off. I’m working on that. I get annoyed more often than angry.
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Post by carl on Feb 20, 2019 22:00:21 GMT -5
Question for today- When you get angry, how do you react? I don’t react. I really only ever get angry with myself and i’ve Known that for long enough to know that I just need to wait a bit for the anger to go. Half an hour later I wonder what I was angry about. If I am really angry though I have a list of special things in my head that I have always really dreamt of buying myself. Nothing massive but definitely enough to put a big smile on my face. I haven’t had to resort to that for ages. Shame.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2019 22:29:48 GMT -5
When I get angry??
I tend to hold it in, second guess myself, and question whether I'm justified to be angry. Then I silently stew on it for a while, usually until either I get over it or my anger comes out sideways and eventually turns into a fight. I'm seeing how unproductive and unhealthy this approach is / has been for me, however, and am working on speaking up more and being more direct about my feelings. It's a long haul, but I'm slowly making some headway changing this unhealthy behavior.
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Post by Handy on Feb 20, 2019 23:10:33 GMT -5
I think a video I just watched will help some people understand how to better react to some of the issues raised to this last question. I see there are a lot of people that keep silent for a long time and the internal pressure builds until different things happen for different people.
I was thinking this same 30 minuet workshop would help in divorce proceedings and counseling sessions.
Emotional Intelligence workshop 30 minuets
Show up Pay attention to your inner feelings or reactions Be honest Be curious about your judgments....rather than controlled by them
Basic emotions Angry- unjust or unfair Sad- experiencing loss Glad - getting what we want Scared - perception of something bad is going to happen Surprise Disgust
What triggers the above emotions How do feelings manifest How to manage my emotions withdraw -aggressive - alternative actions. one good active is abdominal breathing.
Emotional Intelligence The ability to make healthy choices based on: accurately understanding and managing your own feelings, and those of others.
4 areas of EI 1. Self awareness=the ability to know your own resources, to be aware of your abilities and weaknesses, your own self-worth and self capabilities. 2. Self Management = Control impulses and manage internal resources such as impulse control, adaptability, flexibility, accountability. 3. Social Awareness = The ability to read social cues in others. Things include empathy service orientation, mentoring, paying attention to what their needs are. 4. Relationship management = How to induce desired behaviors in others. Conflict management skills and leadership, effetely create bonds and create solutions. Summary EI is the ability to use your own emotional knowledge.
a. Know the difference between feelings reactions and reactions/what you actually do. b. Others are mirrors for our self, think what is my role in this situation. (How you react to the other person, (don't discounting their crappy behavior) c. Neurobiology of authenticity: Interpersonal Neurobiology UCLA (Mirror Neurons, in the brain that pick up on subtle non-verbal cues/ gut feelings but they vary a lot in reliability because it depends on each person's history and life experiences. d. Develop a "Personal Mission Statement"
Emotional Intelligence Workshop (30 minuets)
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Feb 21, 2019 1:57:44 GMT -5
Question for today- When you get angry, how do you react? This depends a lot on the situation. Being angry at a thing is different then being angry at a person. For example, I have no ability to work on cars, yet I seem to forget this every three to five years. My attempts to fix a car always end with me being pissed off, throwing some kind of car part out in the yard, then paying a few hundred dollars (if I'm lucky only a few hundred dollars) to fix whatever it was that I broke this time. When I get angry at a person I will argue with them but if things get too heated I know when I need to walk away and go cool off.
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Feb 21, 2019 1:59:45 GMT -5
I think a video I just watched will help some people understand how to better react to some of the issues raised to this last question. I see there are a lot of people that keep silent for a long time and the internal pressure builds until different things happen for different people. Thanks Handy for sharing that. I have not watched it yet but I did add it to my watch list.
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Post by sadkat on Feb 21, 2019 8:50:42 GMT -5
Question for today: What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone?
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Post by isthisit on Feb 21, 2019 9:01:28 GMT -5
Oh I have a cool story for this! I once participated in a surgery for a woman who in post-op conversation it turned out that she lived in the same area as me and we had mutual acquaintances. She ended up dating my brother’s friend for ages so we crossed paths regularly and laughed that I actually knew her inside before her outside. A really nice woman.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Feb 21, 2019 9:08:57 GMT -5
I actually became friends with a woman I met on this forum on EP. I found out we were from the same home state ( I no longer live in that state) and some of the conversations and her first name made me wonder if ironically ran into an old high school friend on the forum lol I finally asked her. It was not my old high school friend but we became close friends anyway. Traded phone numbers, addresses and became fb friends.
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onlyhuman
Junior Member
Learning to be all right with what I want.
Posts: 30
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Post by onlyhuman on Feb 21, 2019 13:44:04 GMT -5
Question for today- When you get angry, how do you react? I am usually very, very quiet at first. If I am pushed further and continue to get angry, then I will blow my top, complete with yelling and cursing at the top of my lungs.
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Feb 21, 2019 22:43:44 GMT -5
Question for today: What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? About four or five years ago I started messaging with a woman I met on the old EP site. We both were, and still are, in sexless marriages. We hit it off right away, but not in a sexual way. We message every day about our kids, dogs, the weather, whatever we happen to have on our minds. I live just outside of Seattle and she lives just outside of Dublin. She has an amazing thick Irish accent. It's unlikely we will ever meet each other but that's okay, I know she is out there.
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Post by h on Feb 22, 2019 8:24:07 GMT -5
Question for today: What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Completely by chance. I was chaperoning a school trip and talking with this band teacher and his wife on the bus ride. We had never had any interaction before but got talking and his wife was rolling her eyes and making fun of the nerdy direction our conversation was going. We took that as a challenge to "out nerd" each other and see how far we could make her eyes roll.😜 Turns out that we had many common interests and ended up forming a miniature gaming group with a few other people he knew. All because we happen to be chaperoning the same trip and ended up sitting on the same bus.
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