|
Post by flounder on Nov 2, 2018 17:06:47 GMT -5
A vacuum cleaner.
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Nov 2, 2018 17:15:55 GMT -5
I think you should get her a card and write everything you just told us in it. Right before you formally sign your name say “we need to talk if you want to see our 31st anniversary”.
|
|
|
Post by flounder on Nov 2, 2018 17:16:56 GMT -5
Nothing says love after 30 years like a new toaster.
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Nov 2, 2018 17:19:03 GMT -5
DryCreek- I work with a woman who is getting married in Sedona. When I asked her why they picked Sedona as a wedding venue, she told me it was beautiful, serene, and a very popular place to get married. Who knew?? Guess that’s another vacation spot on my list!
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Nov 2, 2018 17:23:11 GMT -5
Card Funny card. Do not exert any emotional energy on someone who only says NO. It’s one day out of 365 and it will pass.
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Nov 2, 2018 19:19:27 GMT -5
"And then the fight started..."
Dan, I suppose it depends on whether your friend wants the moment to pass unceremoniously on cruise control, or use the opportunity to bring things to a head.
There are any number of useless or highly sexist gifts one could give to rile her temper and prompt an argument, if presumably she refuses to have a discussion unless you're arguing. Then again, you'll be out of town and might return to find your baseball card collection has been donated to Goodwill, so choose wisely.
Or you could go the generic, humorous gift card route. I spent an hour in the Hallmark store recently reading them all to find one that wasn't too sentimental. Get a nice arrangement of flowers (not red roses, of course); Costco usually has good quality/value.
Ironically, I think it's even harder to be neutral and non-romantic... Being romantic is a lot more fun when it's appreciated.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Nov 2, 2018 20:47:44 GMT -5
Flounder Nothing says love after 30 years like a new toaster.
No toaster, get her a new cheap ironing board.
One that bends when she hits you with it.
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Nov 2, 2018 21:08:42 GMT -5
Seriously, give her a gift certificate for a massage parlor.
1) It's her choice to use it or not.
2) It's her personal decision.
3) She can tell you about it, or never mention it.
4) Let someone else touch her and receive nothing in return.
5) It's socially acceptable.
6) For the rejector/asexual it's practically a reset ( and you paid for it)
7) It keeps the peace and buys you more time.
(Voice of experience.)
PS I hope you get to visit the North Rim of the Grand Canyon! If I ever go back I want to see it from the river.
|
|
|
Post by dallasgia on Nov 2, 2018 21:25:10 GMT -5
Get you guys a romantic cruise … on separate ships.
|
|
|
Post by flounder on Nov 2, 2018 21:25:48 GMT -5
All joking aside,I believe drycreek is right. A humorous card and some flowers would be the best bet.
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Nov 2, 2018 21:41:43 GMT -5
I’m supportive of just letting it slide by, if that’s all she does for these occasions. Or, like NSM said, whatever “level” of gift she usually gives - try to match that.
PS - I’m up for Sedona! When?
(Actually, I have wanted to visit there for a very long time. It sounds beautiful.)
I hope you have a good conference, friend.
|
|
|
Post by h on Nov 3, 2018 6:59:26 GMT -5
DryCreek seem to have the voice of reason here and I would have to agree. Unless your ducks are in a row already, you don't want to do anything to upset the apple cart before you're ready. I also agree that it's actually harder to find a card in these situations. I spend forever every holiday looking for a card that's funny, but not too funny, and has no emotional or romantic tone, but isn't rude or overly detached. It's a very tricky balance. Anniversaries aren't as bad because anything referencing the passage of time is sufficient. Valentine's Day is the worst because it's expected to romantic. The rest of the holidays are much easier to get cards for.
|
|
|
Post by workingonit on Nov 3, 2018 20:13:21 GMT -5
PS: Still want a friend for the Grand Canyon and Sedona? 😉😆 I had the same thought!! And the music! Sign me up! And yeah a card should be as personal as you go given that list
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Nov 4, 2018 20:17:04 GMT -5
DryCreek seem to have the voice of reason here and I would have to agree. Unless your ducks are in a row already, you don't want to do anything to upset the apple cart before you're ready. I also agree that it's actually harder to find a card in these situations. I spend forever every holiday looking for a card that's funny, but not too funny, and has no emotional or romantic tone, but isn't rude or overly detached. It's a very tricky balance. Anniversaries aren't as bad because anything referencing the passage of time is sufficient. Valentine's Day is the worst because it's expected to romantic. The rest of the holidays are much easier to get cards for. Or, as in the case of my birthday last week, I got no card. Doesn't get any easier than that.
|
|
|
Post by heartbrokengirl on Nov 4, 2018 22:01:02 GMT -5
Mine is coming up soon too, @dan. Not the same situation, and we're the midst of discussing an amicable, voluntarily-mediated divorce, so it seems strange to acknowledge it. In your case, I would think it would seem just as strange to acknowledge, if not more so, given the years of sexlessness.
I'm finding the constant social media reminders (aka "memories...on this day...") at this time of year to be difficult to ignore emotionally.
What did you decide, @dan?
|
|