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Post by ultrajko on Feb 25, 2018 8:46:35 GMT -5
The barrier is that I live in a community property state and have worked hard to be reasonably successful. Giving away that much to someone who doesn't really like me and moving into a status of retiring without enough to be comfortable seems overwhelming at this point. I hate being alone and suspect that would be the permanent case at my age if I were to move on--being lonely and financially comfortable is not ideal but possibly better than lonely and financially challenged!
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 25, 2018 10:39:42 GMT -5
At your age I would live the life you want for yourself. At this stage of the game you do not need your wife's permission. Come and go as you please. Seek a fwb. Keep the roommate status with your wife/ chef for the purpose of your own financial benefit. Use her for the benefits that keep your lifestyle comfortable and then go get some on the side even if you have to pay for it.
Enjoy life and find your happiness.
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Post by northstarmom on Feb 25, 2018 11:47:54 GMT -5
“ i hate being alone and suspect that would be the permanent case at my age if I were to move on--being lonely and financially comfortable is not ideal but possibly better than lonely and financially challenged!”
All marriages end in divorce or death. Even if you stay married, you may end up alone. Investing time now in relationships with friends you enjoy could eliminate your loneliness now and later on,
How old are you?
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Post by shamwow on Feb 28, 2018 18:36:03 GMT -5
Never - age is just a number. If someone does not provide a service for you then seek it elsewhere. At this stage of the game, what do you have to lose? And that's if you get caught! Good point. I actually hope to die on the up stroke. That way I get a free down stroke and when they pull my dead body off another free up stroke. However for the record I am in no hurry.
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Post by baza on Feb 28, 2018 19:22:48 GMT -5
The barrier is that I live in a community property state and have worked hard to be reasonably successful. Giving away that much to someone who doesn't really like me and moving into a status of retiring without enough to be comfortable seems overwhelming at this point. I hate being alone and suspect that would be the permanent case at my age if I were to move on--being lonely and financially comfortable is not ideal but possibly better than lonely and financially challenged! Just about everyone in the western world lives in a "community property state" Brother ultrajko , though the "divvy up" formulas may vary. Anyway - alternative #1 - stay, in a relationship with someone who doesn't even like you alternative #2 - .................................................................. You haven't got one. Suggestion - - see a lawyer in your jurisdiction and establish - theoretically - how a divorce would shake out for you - within those legal parameters, start constructing an exit strategy and get it into - theoretical - doable shape - shore up your support network to help you through such a - theoretical - event Build yourself an "alternative #2" Then, you can make a fully informed and objective choice about your future. Keep in mind that the continuation of the marriage is not solely at YOUR discretion. If it was such a sweet financial deal for your missus under your local law, she could move to divorce herself. You really need to know how such an event would shake out.
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Post by saarinista on Mar 1, 2018 19:09:08 GMT -5
The barrier is that I live in a community property state and have worked hard to be reasonably successful. Giving away that much to someone who doesn't really like me and moving into a status of retiring without enough to be comfortable seems overwhelming at this point. I hate being alone and suspect that would be the permanent case at my age if I were to move on--being lonely and financially comfortable is not ideal but possibly better than lonely and financially challenged! a couple of points here: First I know of no area where eligible 75 year old men do not far outnumber women who are looking. And things being what they are, it would probably not be difficult for you to find someone younger, too, if that's your wish. As a woman, I don't like that societal paradigm, but it certainly makes the odds better for you. money isn't everything. I've been on a tight budget for some time now and have found that assuming you have some money, you can still live well by economizing. Of course, it's a bit of a hassle but hey, keeps the brain exercised. You'd be amazed how much money you can save by only shopping sales and buying generics and shopping at consignment stores. If I was you I would talk to an attorney and see which of your assets how this would shake out for you. Your other options are: love your dog more than life itself, or have extramarital sex.
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Post by Caris on Mar 1, 2018 19:53:49 GMT -5
Going out on a limb here, but I think at 75, I wouldn’t bother divorcing, if it were me. It’s hard enough being 63 and alone and single, but I am a woman, and like others have said, after a certain age, women far outnumber the men. I see this myself when I go out. I’m in a Singles group, and there are 7-8 women for every man. However, I don’t think men find what they want, even with these odds. Maybe Florida is the place to be.
Your marriage is much more than just sex. It’s your home, and everything you’ve worked for. I’m not saying divorce would be a mistake at this age, just that I wouldn’t do it myself. My two cents for what it’s worth is find a FWB, if your principles allow for it. Mine don’t, hence one reason I’m still alone. I want the real deal, or I’d rather grow old alone, which is exactly what I’m doing, and it’s damn lonely. Everyone has to thing very carefully about leaving their marriage, but especially over 60.
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Post by ultrajko on Mar 2, 2018 12:10:44 GMT -5
I think the FWB is my best option as I went through a divorce at an earlier stage of my life and really do not want to go through all that disruption again. I have my workshop and a dog that would not do well in an apartment so really would prefer to not tear up my life at age 75. Now the trick is to figure out how to meet someone of the opposite sex in a similar situation who would provide, and receive, some caring attention and possible sex without drama! Probably asking too much so will assume the current situation is my fate unless someone falls out of the sky :-)
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Post by WindSister on Mar 2, 2018 12:20:41 GMT -5
I think the FWB is my best option as I went through a divorce at an earlier stage of my life and really do not want to go through all that disruption again. I have my workshop and a dog that would not do well in an apartment so really would prefer to not tear up my life at age 75. Now the trick is to figure out how to meet someone of the opposite sex in a similar situation who would provide, and receive, some caring attention and possible sex without drama! Probably asking too much so will assume the current situation is my fate unless someone falls out of the sky :-) No one will fall out of the sky, but it's not as difficult as you may think. I was on lots of different dating apps. Some specialize in these arrangements. If you want something to happen, take those steps. Protect yourself while being honest and direct. Be discreet, expect discreet. I don't know which sites are relevant right now so I can't direct you where to start. Good luck!
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