Can you envision another 40 years of celibacy? Can you imagine running a series of secret affairs for the next 40 years?
There's another thread here on the frequency we think would be realistic with a compatible partner. An overwhelming percentage of folks checked at least "3-4 times a week", with most above 5-6 times a week.
Let's say that's 200x a year. Times 40 years. That's a lot to give up.
If you're 10 years in, a mere weekly romp adds up to 500. Where would you be today emotionally with 500+ intimate experiences instead of rejections?
Just the math is staggering, before you even consider the amount of emotional build-up or tear-down that's tied to those attempts. Especially since many of us feel rejection a lot more than weekly.
Last Edit: Jul 16, 2017 14:17:52 GMT -5 by DryCreek
A hundred people here could have written that story. And the answer is the only correct answer possible.
So then do you think assigning any merit to the other two options available to those of us in an SM (stay and deal with it; stay and outsource) are lip service only?
The three options are all valid options, none is "better" (or "worse") than another. They are choices, and what works for one may not work for another. They are there for your consideration, but the onus of making the choice is on you, and no-one else.
You can - if you wish - read many stories in here about how various choices have played out for various members.
There are a lot of stories from escapees in here, and they point toward this option resulting in enhanced lives longer term. There are stories from outsourcers. This option seems to present volatile and unpredictable outcomes. There are stories from stayers (both deliberate and default). This option does not appear to have a real lot going for it on the surface - BUT, IT IS WHAT THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEMBERS HERE DO, so it must have some upsides that are not readily seen at first glance.
They are all perfectly valid choices Sister lonelywifey .