Post by Moetse Tau on Jul 11, 2017 7:58:59 GMT -5
The enforced celibacy with the occasional reset is an excellent tactic from an effectiveness standpoint. If it is executed properly, just enough sex is provided to keep the "fish on the hook" and not exit the pond. The longer the technique is exercised, the tighter the hook is buried (primarily through children and finances). As I said, quite effective. It only becomes a problem when the fish slips the hook and actually breaks free. When that happens, all bets are off and usually results in outsourcing and often in divorce.
For those of us who have jumped ponds, it amazes me how long I stayed on that hook, accepting (hell, begging for) crumbs when there is an entire ocean just beyond my pond.
Corollary: if you have no plans on taking care of your future spouse, you have no business getting married (and see preceding)
Yup. It sucks. Looking back now I can see the chronology. We are neither one exactly each others 'types', although, I am more accepting of a broader range of 'type'. But we had such a connection as people that sex just eventually happened.
At that time, we could do it 3 times a day, and still have it every night. I realize now, that I was always the one initiating,
in a way, she just let it happen. She enjoyed it, and wasn't starfish, by any means, but she did not initiate.
When we decided to marry, I think, that's when the refusals started. Just small ones, with rain checks that did happen.
Then the rain checks tapered off. Then the sex tapered off, with every manner of excuses.
Then it became a taboo subject. Then I was accused of 'that's all you want from me'. Then more excuses.
Then more making me feel guilty for wanting it. Then....Then....Then....we all know the drill.
Now 12 years in, and it has been since March 2016. We still have love, and still really enjoy each others company,
but, really live as roommates more that a married couple.
Looking back and seeing how it all went down is difficult.
Seeing the times where it was almost over, and I could have got
out, but didn't take the chance. That's worse.
All because of 'hope'.
'Hope' is bullshite.