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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2017 11:05:45 GMT -5
Hi all. I never knew that there was a community of people like me online. I have always been ashamed of being in a sexless marriage. I miss the intimacy and closeness but to be honest, its been so long, that its not even painful anymore. I also think, as a guy, that its cruel and I am very resentful. I am sure that I am not alone, after so many years of rejection, that I gave up trying. I still have a very strong physical need, just no outlet. I rarely talk about this because i know that I will get the usual barrage of questions of why do I stay, have i talked to my wife (really?), how whoever I am talking to could never live like that, and on and on. Well, I hope to get to know some of you an am looking forward to reading the forums. I understand completely. The good thing about this place is that you won't be told that it is all your fault, and that you should start doing things differently so that your spouse will want to fuck you.
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Post by leifericson on Feb 21, 2017 11:38:47 GMT -5
Hi all. I never knew that there was a community of people like me online. I have always been ashamed of being in a sexless marriage. I miss the intimacy and closeness but to be honest, its been so long, that its not even painful anymore. I also think, as a guy, that its cruel and I am very resentful. I am sure that I am not alone, after so many years of rejection, that I gave up trying. I still have a very strong physical need, just no outlet. I rarely talk about this because i know that I will get the usual barrage of questions of why do I stay, have i talked to my wife (really?), how whoever I am talking to could never live like that, and on and on. Well, I hope to get to know some of you an am looking forward to reading the forums. I understand completely. The good thing about this place is that you won't be told that it is all your fault, and that you should start doing things differently so that your spouse will want to fuck you. I don't think this is my fault. I tried for a very long time but have given up. I am very nice to the wife and treat her with respect but am more or less resigned. It would be nice to have sex again before I die but that's iffy at best.
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PrnsessMe
New Member
Posts: 4
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by PrnsessMe on Feb 22, 2017 23:18:44 GMT -5
Hello. NEWBIE here. Slightly surprised, but almost relieved to find such a place. To find others in similar situations as myself.
Not ready to share yet, but I'm reading a lot, and I really like the supportive vibe I get from the group. I've come close to commenting on other posts, but thought I should at least say hello to everyone first.
I'll keep reading and lurking. Maybe someday I'll be able to get my thoughts together enough to put them out there.
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Post by dinnaken on Feb 23, 2017 3:11:33 GMT -5
Hi PrnsessMe, Welcome, like you I was surprised to find this site but I've found it really helpful and supportive and I'm sure you will too. Best wishes
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2017 10:22:27 GMT -5
Hello. NEWBIE here. Slightly surprised, but almost relieved to find such a place. To find others in similar situations as myself. Not ready to share yet, but I'm reading a lot, and I really like the supportive vibe I get from the group. I've come close to commenting on other posts, but thought I should at least say hello to everyone first. I'll keep reading and lurking. Maybe someday I'll be able to get my thoughts together enough to put them out there. I understand completely. However, just realize that many of us have been where you are, and we actually care about others in the same situation.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2017 12:40:26 GMT -5
Welcome, PrnsessMe. This is a sad place to be - but I found it helped to know I was not alone.
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Post by oside77 on Feb 25, 2017 16:10:48 GMT -5
Hello! I am new to this site, but recently found "similar worlds" where someone posted about iliasm so here I am. I was a user on EP as well for a couple years before it went away. Still learning to navigate this site, it's certainly different. I have been married 17 years now and have three kids. About five years ago my wife and I went sexless for a year. It was a time we were close to divorce and I sought counciling for us. We both laid it all out and some hurtful things were said. Basically, she has little libido and my advances over the years caused anxiety for her because of the abuse she suffered as an early teen. This caused her to resent me because her sub-conscious compared me to her abuser. During the time of our counseling, she said some things insulting my love making skills in order to keep me from making advances. All those things are still in the back of my mind though we eventually went from a year, to six months, to the last couple years it's every 2-3 months. I believe it's "pity sex" or maybe she just actually needs it once in a while now. Sorry for the novel of an intro.
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 25, 2017 16:16:39 GMT -5
oside77 Welcome we are a good support group, sorry you are here but it's a good place.
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Post by oside77 on Feb 25, 2017 16:21:25 GMT -5
oside77 Welcome we are a good support group, sorry you are here but it's a good place. Thank you. Like I mentioned, still learning to navigate, the format is certainly different. I hope to make some friends here.
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Post by leifericson on Feb 25, 2017 16:53:55 GMT -5
Hello! I am new to this site, but recently found "similar worlds" where someone posted about iliasm so here I am. I was a user on EP as well for a couple years before it went away. Still learning to navigate this site, it's certainly different. I have been married 17 years now and have three kids. About five years ago my wife and I went sexless for a year. It was a time we were close to divorce and I sought counciling for us. We both laid it all out and some hurtful things were said. Basically, she has little libido and my advances over the years caused anxiety for her because of the abuse she suffered as an early teen. This caused her to resent me because her sub-conscious compared me to her abuser. During the time of our counseling, she said some things insulting my love making skills in order to keep me from making advances. All those things are still in the back of my mind though we eventually went from a year, to six months, to the last couple years it's every 2-3 months. I believe it's "pity sex" or maybe she just actually needs it once in a while now. Sorry for the novel of an intro. I think its promising that your wife went to counseling with you. I think some on this site will tell you that she is just teasing you along with the very occasional sex but I'd like to think she is trying. She recognized there was a problem and was willing to do something about it (even if it was not successful). I wish I could get my W to go to counseling. She has no desire to change the SM.
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Post by oside77 on Feb 25, 2017 17:00:25 GMT -5
Hello! I am new to this site, but recently found "similar worlds" where someone posted about iliasm so here I am. I was a user on EP as well for a couple years before it went away. Still learning to navigate this site, it's certainly different. I have been married 17 years now and have three kids. About five years ago my wife and I went sexless for a year. It was a time we were close to divorce and I sought counciling for us. We both laid it all out and some hurtful things were said. Basically, she has little libido and my advances over the years caused anxiety for her because of the abuse she suffered as an early teen. This caused her to resent me because her sub-conscious compared me to her abuser. During the time of our counseling, she said some things insulting my love making skills in order to keep me from making advances. All those things are still in the back of my mind though we eventually went from a year, to six months, to the last couple years it's every 2-3 months. I believe it's "pity sex" or maybe she just actually needs it once in a while now. Sorry for the novel of an intro. I think its promising that your wife went to counseling with you. I think some on this site will tell you that she is just teasing you along with the very occasional sex but I'd like to think she is trying. She recognized there was a problem and was willing to do something about it (even if it was not successful). I wish I could get my W to go to counseling. She has no desire to change the SM. Well, she didn't agree to counseling about our SM, it was because she wanted a divorce and I convinced her that we try counseling. She eventually walked out of that, but did start her own therapy for her issues which brings us to where we are today. That's where everything got put out on the table, is when her therapist brought me in for a session.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Feb 25, 2017 17:14:12 GMT -5
Happy Saturday!
I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway....
I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together.
*Ann
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Post by oside77 on Feb 25, 2017 19:37:35 GMT -5
Happy Saturday! I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway.... I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together. *Ann Glad to hear you have found someone to fulfil your needs, and your Hubs has agreed to an open marriage. It seems that would be an ideal situation for many on here.
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Post by leifericson on Feb 25, 2017 21:50:02 GMT -5
Hello. NEWBIE here. Slightly surprised, but almost relieved to find such a place. To find others in similar situations as myself. Not ready to share yet, but I'm reading a lot, and I really like the supportive vibe I get from the group. I've come close to commenting on other posts, but thought I should at least say hello to everyone first. I'll keep reading and lurking. Maybe someday I'll be able to get my thoughts together enough to put them out there. Welcome Pensess. Some lively on point discussions going on. Sorry to see you in the same situation as the rest of us.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2017 18:23:38 GMT -5
Hello! I am new to this site, but recently found "similar worlds" where someone posted about iliasm so here I am. I was a user on EP as well for a couple years before it went away. Still learning to navigate this site, it's certainly different. I have been married 17 years now and have three kids. About five years ago my wife and I went sexless for a year. It was a time we were close to divorce and I sought counciling for us. We both laid it all out and some hurtful things were said. Basically, she has little libido and my advances over the years caused anxiety for her because of the abuse she suffered as an early teen. This caused her to resent me because her sub-conscious compared me to her abuser. During the time of our counseling, she said some things insulting my love making skills in order to keep me from making advances. All those things are still in the back of my mind though we eventually went from a year, to six months, to the last couple years it's every 2-3 months. I believe it's "pity sex" or maybe she just actually needs it once in a while now. Sorry for the novel of an intro. Welcome, but I am sorry you are here. I have to say, your wife's excuses are bullshit. You are NOT her abuser, and if she is still saying her self-conscious says you are, she needs to get therapy to resolve this.
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