merrygoround I haven't read all of the posts in this thread, but let me say this -- I struggled with this too.
We've already told our young adult children. I have always maintained open communication with them and I don't plan to change that anytime soon. However, I have informed them that I can't go in details right now, but I will share more (not all) after the dust settles.
In fact, while I was spending time with one of my kids recently, he brought up the subject and said "Splitting the money will be tough and will sting for a while, but at least you will be free, so that doesn't sound too bad." I told him that he is correct about that much, but there is more to the story that I cannot discuss until the divorce is final. I fully plan to give each of my adult kids a copy of the settlement agreement to read and understand. I also plan to share with them that this wasn't a loving relationship and explain what a SM is, how it impacts the refused spouse, and educate them so hopefully they won't suffer as I have all these years.
After all, it is our number one responsibility as parents to love, nurture, and protect our children from harm. And I plan to do just that to the very best of my ability.
Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day, while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. A victim mentality ensures you are always the victim. A victor mentality gives you a fighting chance at survival.
Your account of this conversation with this kid reads like he is well aware that the marriage has not been a bed of roses Brother JonDoe and that potentially he knows (or has well founded suspicions) about what's gone on. What I am getting at, is that he may know (or accurately suspect) a lot more than you think he knows. In which case, when you choose to disclose what went on, it may well go *easier* than you might be thinking.
solodriver: Happy Birthday shamwow!!
Oct 11, 2018 20:35:02 GMT -5
shynjdude: Andie seems to have deleted her account here. Hope she's OK.
Oct 12, 2018 9:41:52 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, no! I hope she is okay...
Oct 12, 2018 15:31:30 GMT -5
solodriver: Maybe over what happened last weekend with the discussion board men vs. women
Oct 12, 2018 20:42:13 GMT -5
jetcity: Had to have my cat put down today. He was very old and he let us know it was time this morning. My wife went to visit her mother today So now It’s just me, the cats and dog and a couple cold beers. Now that’s a party right?
Oct 12, 2018 21:57:32 GMT -5
solodriver: So sorry jetcity, I've done that many times over the years, never gets any easier.
Oct 12, 2018 22:45:20 GMT -5
jetcity: I managed to create an avatar! The beard and mustache are kind of funky though.
Oct 12, 2018 23:30:07 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Welcome, dontstart! Feel free to post in the introduction thread; not many people see/use the shout box. Read and explore here, and hope you find us a helpful community.
Oct 14, 2018 10:41:21 GMT -5
caballotierra: Hey all, I setup a new account since my W figured out my login and was using my posts against me. Since we're going through divorce, I thought it would be safer to remove my old name. Although I feel attached to it.
Oct 15, 2018 16:12:30 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Oh, wow. Sorry that happened to you!
Oct 15, 2018 16:36:32 GMT -5
caballotierra: Does anyone know how to delete my old account? Right now, it's still searchable, which is a problem.
Oct 16, 2018 12:12:19 GMT -5