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Post by Apocrypha on Jan 27, 2017 18:57:10 GMT -5
I'm not sure if I agree with the assessment here of Apocrypha 's counselor #3. Her assessment was honest and to the point. If *he* wanted to save the marriage *he* needed to consign himself to jerking off in the bathroom. I believe that is fully consistent with the general consensus of this forum. Am I wrong on that point? She was attempting to assure Mrs Apocrypha at the time, who was so tepid about the process that she was running for the door. But yes, the counselor did step right on the landmine I had warned her about before signing up in treating intimate expression in that manner with me. What message does it send, treating it like a private bodily function? Certainly a validating one to Mrs. Apocrypha's thesis, who treated sacktime at best, with the kind of dutiful love and care with which I used to change my babies' diapers. But counselor 3 really did grab me one time with an Alan Alda "IT WASN'T A CHICKEN!" moment (sorry for the youngsters who didn't see the MASH finale). In an intense moment of back and forth, she asked me, "So why DON'T you just let go and quit trying?" Without thinking, I snapped "Because if I let go, then there's no marriage at all." I clapped my hand across my mouth realizing she had just tricked me into saying the truth.
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Post by beachguy on Jan 27, 2017 19:08:54 GMT -5
I'm not sure if I agree with the assessment here of Apocrypha 's counselor #3. Her assessment was honest and to the point. If *he* wanted to save the marriage *he* needed to consign himself to jerking off in the bathroom. I believe that is fully consistent with the general consensus of this forum. Am I wrong on that point? She was attempting to assure Mrs Apocrypha at the time, who was so tepid about the process that she was running for the door. But yes, the counselor did step right on the landmine I had warned her about before signing up in treating intimate expression in that manner with me. What message does it send, treating it like a private bodily function? Certainly a validating one to Mrs. Apocrypha's thesis, who treated sacktime at best, with the kind of dutiful love and care with which I used to change my babies' diapers. But counselor 3 really did grab me one time with an Alan Alda "IT WASN'T A CHICKEN!" moment (sorry for the youngsters who didn't see the MASH finale). In an intense moment of back and forth, she asked me, "So why DON'T you just let go and quit trying?" Without thinking, I snapped "Because if I let go, then there's no marriage at all." I clapped my hand across my mouth realizing she had just tricked me into saying the truth. People that are intimacy averse do not react well to pressure to have sex. It's very counterproductive. And you can't hire a professional to do the job, the end result is the same. Which is why it's all really hopeless, including any attempt at therapy. So I understand that counselor trying desperately not to suggest your wife was actually there to solve your problem, even though you were surely the one that instigated the therapy. Which makes no fucking sense but I'm not the one that was involved in all that . And perhaps she was trying to get you to get that. It was all hopeless. Am I close?
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