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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 10:55:40 GMT -5
Torn up homework? That says a lot. That was from Friday, when she was mad at me for going out instead of staying in with her. After she told me to go. That was also the night she fled to her brother's house. At that moment she decided she was not going to work on the marriage anymore. However it could have just been a fit of rage and upon further reflection she decided to give it another chance. It may be of benefit to obtain clarification on just what she meant by that. Because it could have been even more than a fit of rage. It could have been communication. |
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Post by pfviento on Aug 10, 2016 15:16:40 GMT -5
Sounds like a handy one sided alibi for her to dump on her brother. " I ask him to stay at home and at least spend a little time with me. But no...he is always going out drinking with his friends and chasing women!" I honestly have no clue what she's told her family- I really don't care, either. I know she's worried about what I've told my friends and family, and with whom I've had these conversations. And, to quote an old sci-fi show, seeing as understanding is a three-edged sword, the only one who really has the potential to get to the real truth will be our counselor- if my wife lets that happen. Your side, their side, and the truth? |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 15:19:27 GMT -5
I honestly have no clue what she's told her family- I really don't care, either. I know she's worried about what I've told my friends and family, and with whom I've had these conversations. And, to quote an old sci-fi show, seeing as understanding is a three-edged sword, the only one who really has the potential to get to the real truth will be our counselor- if my wife lets that happen. Your side, their side, and the truth? Three chords and the truth. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 10, 2016 15:22:06 GMT -5
I honestly have no clue what she's told her family- I really don't care, either. I know she's worried about what I've told my friends and family, and with whom I've had these conversations. And, to quote an old sci-fi show, seeing as understanding is a three-edged sword, the only one who really has the potential to get to the real truth will be our counselor- if my wife lets that happen. Your side, their side, and the truth? You got the reference? |
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Post by pfviento on Aug 10, 2016 15:41:32 GMT -5
Your side, their side, and the truth? You got the reference? Pretty sure I got it. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 10, 2016 16:11:29 GMT -5
That was from Friday, when she was mad at me for going out instead of staying in with her. After she told me to go. That was also the night she fled to her brother's house. At that moment she decided she was not going to work on the marriage anymore. However it could have just been a fit of rage and upon further reflection she decided to give it another chance. It may be of benefit to obtain clarification on just what she meant by that. Because it could have been even more than a fit of rage. It could have been communication. Well, she admitted to me the next day, somewhat sheepishly, what had happened. That was the conversation Saturday before she left in tears again, and the one that prompted her letter about letting me "build myself back up." |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 12, 2016 7:30:35 GMT -5
Second session with the couples counselor this afternoon. The wife texted yesterday to confirm we were still on. As a correction to earlier: she picked up her notes when she stopped by Tuesday, so she already has them.
Had a dream last night that she came home and was sleeping on the couch. When I went to check on her, she told me that she thought it would just be easier and better for us both if we went our separate ways and were just friends.
I woke up right after that with an overwhelming sense of relief.
Except, of course, it won't ever be that simple.
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Post by unmatched on Aug 12, 2016 7:50:09 GMT -5
Second session with the couples counselor this afternoon. The wife texted yesterday to confirm we were still on. As a correction to earlier: she picked up her notes when she stopped by Tuesday, so she already has them. Had a dream last night that she came home and was sleeping on the couch. When I went to check on her, she told me that she thought it would just be easier and better for us both if we went our separate ways and were just friends. I woke up right after that with an overwhelming sense of relief. Except, of course, it won't ever be that simple. Good luck! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 12, 2016 9:24:05 GMT -5
Second session with the couples counselor this afternoon. The wife texted yesterday to confirm we were still on. As a correction to earlier: she picked up her notes when she stopped by Tuesday, so she already has them. Had a dream last night that she came home and was sleeping on the couch. When I went to check on her, she told me that she thought it would just be easier and better for us both if we went our separate ways and were just friends. I woke up right after that with an overwhelming sense of relief. Except, of course, it won't ever be that simple. You'd pass out if she did that! Xxx |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 12, 2016 9:32:13 GMT -5
I think you're right. Or is immediately be wondering if it was a bluff...
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 12, 2016 11:50:42 GMT -5
As I've been reflecting back on the past week that she's been staying at her brother's before our session this afternoon, I've realized how much lower my stress level has been, how much better I've slept, and how much I've enjoyed the routine I've been able to get into. The house is cleaner than its been in a while, all the laundry is done, the dishes are done, the dogs are more active and responsive than usual, and I don't feel like all my energy is being sucked out of me as soon as I pull into the driveway.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 12, 2016 12:38:21 GMT -5
As I've been reflecting back on the past week that she's been staying at her brother's before our session this afternoon, I've realized how much lower my stress level has been, how much better I've slept, and how much I've enjoyed the routine I've been able to get into. The house is cleaner than its been in a while, all the laundry is done, the dishes are done, the dogs are more active and responsive than usual, and I don't feel like all my energy is being sucked out of me as soon as I pull into the driveway. I'll take a week like that please  x |
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Post by ted on Aug 12, 2016 20:44:41 GMT -5
I'm eagerly anticipating the update on this afternoon's session!
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 13, 2016 23:34:30 GMT -5
"A doctor can't perform surgery on a patient who's bleeding out on the operating table. Instead, the patient has to be stabilized first."
This is what our counselor said after she recovered from her very visible surprise at everything had transpired in the last two weeks. So basically, the immediate plan is for the wife to move back in (I think that'll happen tomorrow), and basically for us to attempt to coexist in the same house as roommates, each doing our own thing, without any expectations from the other person. Any big complaints that we may want to bring up that are liable to turn into fights are also to be written down and saved for our next session.
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 14, 2016 0:14:05 GMT -5
cagedtiger... If the goal is to make the best attempt at recovery, you're doing the right thing. If, on the other hand, you're convinced that your deal is fully cooked, then this is a step backward. If it were easy, I wouldn't still be here either...
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