Found $16k cash in the house - thoughts?
Jun 20, 2022 17:22:11 GMT -5
DryCreek, greatcoastal, and 2 more like this
Post by shamwow on Jun 20, 2022 17:22:11 GMT -5
Here are my suggestions:
- You mentioned an E-Trade account that it appears you have a login to. Go into there and download all statements and tax forms for every month and every year you can. If things go sideways, you don't want to be on the side of having to subpeona everything because he changed the password. In E-Trade there is an area to view transfers. Download all transfer activity and make note of where it came from / went to.
- Do the same for every other account you have access to....bank statements, credit card statements, etc...
- READ the statements, specifically looking for money transfers. The money transfers will also show other accounts you will want to look into if you have access and where you will demand statements if you go through a divorce.
- Do NOT tell him that you have done this. If you do, he may just shuffle money around again where you can't see them (i.e. accounts in his name only)
- Run your credit report (you can do it for free at annualcreditreport.com) to make sure he isn't loading up debt in your name
All of this can be accomplished in less tie than it takes to write and reply to this thread. Do it NOW before anything goes sideways, remembering that your timetable may not be his timetable. It sounds like he's getting some things in place in case either of you pulls the trigger.
Your next steps will depend upon what you find, but having the records is HUGELY important (your attorney will thank you). I helped ballofconfusion with her divorce and because her ex had all of the accounts in his name, he simply refused to provide documents. He dragged his feet for almost 4 years. We had to subpeona these records which cost us thousands of dollars. Get them now while you have a chance.
Remember, your husband has what is known as a "fiduciary duty" towards you. This means that not only is he not supposed to steal from you (which it sounds like he is doing), but he is supposed to act in your best interest. This doesn't mean that he won't lose money (i.e. bad investments), but that he won't steal money from you (which is sounds a bit like what is going on here)
If a divorce is in the making, he will likely think himself clever that he hid all this stuff well in advance. Since he thinks you ignorant of all this, he will likely not declare these items in the initial declaration of assets and debts. If he does this and is shown to be deliberately hiding funds, there is a good possibility that you will still get your half as well as a giving you a large portion of "his" as well. Courts do not smile on this kind of behavior (if it is caught).
When I helped BOC with her divorce (my MBA came in pretty handy for this), I was able to identify a couple hundred grand of these kinds of transactions (including a couple of houses he sold and kept the proceeds on in private accounts). Unfortunately her ex died a few months before trial from a meth overdose. I was really really really looking forward to eating popcorn in the courtroom as he squirmed on the hooks we set for him.
We also were able to have a loan declared fraudlant that he took in her name without her knowledge to the tune of 60k, so don't forget to go over that credit report.
Of course, if everything suddenly turns around in the marriage, then you simply have given yourself an education to your own finances. If he were to drop dead, you'd need this information in any case, so it is time well spent in any case.
Good Luck!
- You mentioned an E-Trade account that it appears you have a login to. Go into there and download all statements and tax forms for every month and every year you can. If things go sideways, you don't want to be on the side of having to subpeona everything because he changed the password. In E-Trade there is an area to view transfers. Download all transfer activity and make note of where it came from / went to.
- Do the same for every other account you have access to....bank statements, credit card statements, etc...
- READ the statements, specifically looking for money transfers. The money transfers will also show other accounts you will want to look into if you have access and where you will demand statements if you go through a divorce.
- Do NOT tell him that you have done this. If you do, he may just shuffle money around again where you can't see them (i.e. accounts in his name only)
- Run your credit report (you can do it for free at annualcreditreport.com) to make sure he isn't loading up debt in your name
All of this can be accomplished in less tie than it takes to write and reply to this thread. Do it NOW before anything goes sideways, remembering that your timetable may not be his timetable. It sounds like he's getting some things in place in case either of you pulls the trigger.
Your next steps will depend upon what you find, but having the records is HUGELY important (your attorney will thank you). I helped ballofconfusion with her divorce and because her ex had all of the accounts in his name, he simply refused to provide documents. He dragged his feet for almost 4 years. We had to subpeona these records which cost us thousands of dollars. Get them now while you have a chance.
Remember, your husband has what is known as a "fiduciary duty" towards you. This means that not only is he not supposed to steal from you (which it sounds like he is doing), but he is supposed to act in your best interest. This doesn't mean that he won't lose money (i.e. bad investments), but that he won't steal money from you (which is sounds a bit like what is going on here)
If a divorce is in the making, he will likely think himself clever that he hid all this stuff well in advance. Since he thinks you ignorant of all this, he will likely not declare these items in the initial declaration of assets and debts. If he does this and is shown to be deliberately hiding funds, there is a good possibility that you will still get your half as well as a giving you a large portion of "his" as well. Courts do not smile on this kind of behavior (if it is caught).
When I helped BOC with her divorce (my MBA came in pretty handy for this), I was able to identify a couple hundred grand of these kinds of transactions (including a couple of houses he sold and kept the proceeds on in private accounts). Unfortunately her ex died a few months before trial from a meth overdose. I was really really really looking forward to eating popcorn in the courtroom as he squirmed on the hooks we set for him.
We also were able to have a loan declared fraudlant that he took in her name without her knowledge to the tune of 60k, so don't forget to go over that credit report.
Of course, if everything suddenly turns around in the marriage, then you simply have given yourself an education to your own finances. If he were to drop dead, you'd need this information in any case, so it is time well spent in any case.
Good Luck!